its a total girl bling please

oh, its back home once again and yes i'm back from penang. it always feels good to be home, but this time, its different. i always dread having camps and trips and pray that they would end quickly, so i could get home as soon as possible. i thought the penang was a dread too, but it didn't end up to be that bad and scary as i thought it would be, it was nothing bad as i predicted and much better then expected. and oh my, i feel like staying there longer.

we went to penang for the pesta hockey tournament. but it was much more then just the tournament, it was just like a holiday. it is so fun, i tell you. we stayed in YMCA hostel(at least they have air-con and television, so its not as bad as a bunk room). the people in penang seem so much more friendly then those we see in johor.

but anyway, the last two days were the best. on the last night, we were at gurney plaza and the shopping mall is really huge and nice. they have most of the things we find in singapore. oh, they even have guess. the things there were cheaper then in singapore so shopping was good. after dinner, we went to play fireworks. yes, real fireworks that we can't play in singapore cos its banned. i was afraid that the fire crackers might explode so i didn't hold it, but i was beside carolyn, diana, dora and mr tan when they lighted up the fire crackers. the fireworks are so beautiful, it almost seem like meteor rain. how romantic. haha. :)

on the last day, we played with the thailand hockey girls from satit chula(i think thats the name of their school). oh my the thailand girls are so adorable and nice. we played a tough friendly game and after the game it was so fun after the game. we took photos with them. haha and i tell you, they're so adorable and cute. ah, i'm so going to miss them. and yes, thailand hockey girls from satit chula, i love.

i like the peace there
i like the food there
i like the friendliness there
i like the shopping there
i love that place(i only hate the big dogs)
penang; i love.

-

oh my, christmas is coming in four days,
its like so soon and i haven't gotten ready the cards and the presents.
oh no, i better be off to do it now.

-

i really really want the beautiful BURBERRY sheep. :)
would you buy it for me this christmas please?

all i want for christmas is not you, its the burberry sheep. :) buy it for me and i might be yours this christmas. haha what nonsense. but anyway, i'm off.

i've a present for you, but i need your arms to be the wrapping paper.

i had sore throat yersterday and i didn't feel well, so i didn't go for training, and today, i woke up and find that my sore throat is getting worst. okay, just blame myself for eating chips yesterday, despite knowing that i had a sore throat. so now i'm stuck at home with a terrible sore throat and i can hardly talk and sound clearly. oh shitness. anyway, so sorry i missed two days of training. :(

anyway, everyone's leaving for penang tomorrow night, and we won't be back till 21 december's morning(15-21 december). and this would prolly be my last post before i leave, cos i'm lazy and i've nothing much to blog about anyway. so, you could text me on my hp if you've anything urgent, cos i've auto roaming, but i won't leave my prepaid number behind anymore. okay, so take care, and i'm off. :)

when you open your eyes, you'll see that something is wrong

diet pills, surgery
photoshoped pictures in magazines
telling them how they should be
everyone's going crazy
but why does it make sense to me?

-

hey. i'm going to start my rantings and whinings again; i'm tired. yes, very tired. we had physical training today, so i had to wake up early again(its doesn't make a big difference, cause i can't sleep these days anyway) to go to ccab for training. i was early for the first time but brenda came later. is that a punishment for me for always being late? maybe. HAHA.

oh, then after training, brenda and i went to town to meet grace, leilani and yiting to shop for christmas presents. and they bought me a nice bag. haha how nice right? and we bum around till six plus before we decided that we're tired, so we headed home. and now, i'm so tired. i've nothing much to say anymore, so i'm off.

its all a big show, its all about you.

hey. i'm finally BACK from my hockey training camp in johor! and yes, i'm so glad to be home. i'm very super tired, i can just drop and die. this is the longest hockey camp we've ever had, its even longer then the one we had in september. this camp was five days and four nights.

we wake up at 5.30am every morning and we had to walk from the hotel(which i don't like cause the service was terrible) to the stadium. we had morning and afternoon trainings, as usual, and we did quite a lot of running and we had many friendly matches with the johor girls and i'm really burn out by them. and we also had video sessions between the trainings when we see ourselves play.

i was actually in the same room with brenda and carolyn, but mr bulb switched our rooms on the second day cause he wanted us to be in the same room with the players we're playing with so we can talk about our positional play. although we complained about the switching of rooms, we had no choice but we still had to switch rooms. it wasn't too bad for me cause i was put into the same room with felicia and hanwei. haha those two crazy silly girls, but i love.

we had the terrible and tired times but of cause we also had the sweet and fun times. many many long tiring trainings, so much of whining and complaining, so much of scolding from mr bulb, so much of screaming and sometimes blaming each other during games at the pitch, but so much of fun when we're in the hotel(its like we're holding a slumber party), so much of fun when we go out to eat together, so much of fun when we shop for groceries and do shopping at pelangi and so much of fun when we share secrets and talk till we sleep. haha.

oh, i'm gonna miss the good times. and yes, we all love the roadside stall and the ramly burgers! they taste so delicious and i'knw we're so gonna miss the food there and the ramly burgers especially. haha. but i'm still very glad to be home.

to the team, if you're reading this; i'm sorry for the mistakes that i've made time and time again in the games, and i'll make changes and improve them. and i'll do my running and improve on my timing for my runs and my sprints.

thats about all about the training camp in johor, cause i'm tired my eyes are going dry and i can't continue blogging anymore. so take care and yes, i'm BACK. HAHA :)

oh, christmas is coming and i can't wait.

baby, you're a growing addition i can't deny

hey. its been some time since i blog and some people(ahem), have relatively been pestering me to blog and so being and feeling nice, cos i just recovered from my pms yesterday, i'm like blogging now so you could read it. how nice right. haha nevermind.

oh lets blog about gwen's party. haha gwen, if you're reading this, don't kill me, i'll just blog the truth. haha okay so here it goes. mmm it was a great party, we had good crazy fun, but no, nothing of a horny kind. and i mean really. haha. we watched white chicks, had bbq, and then cycled and walked her cousins' dog to a playground somewhere around her house, and we had fun on the double swing. haha. okay then when we went back, we played truth or dare, we drank beer and some got drunk(i won't say who, but we all know. HAHA.), and no, i'm not one of them, i was still okay and quite normal after i drank erm four cans of beer, some vodka and maybe some blue label?(shhh) then elaine and i stayed over and we were surfing the net and looking at some nice things, some terrible things, and no, don't get the wrong idea, just in case you think its porn, but no its really not. just can't be saying it cos its sort of a mean naughty thing to say about others so i can't blog it. okay thats about it la. but it was really uber fun. and very nice and funny. HAHA. :)

and talking about birthdays and parties, it's joan anne's birthday on sunday, 28 nov and hanwei's birthday on 30 nov. so i shall wish them a happy birthday together. and we'll be celebrating it in sentosa and no, i won't forget the presents. so hanwei, just wait please.

oh and i can't get my tagboard, cos when i try to open it, it doesn't show and it always seem to have problems when i try to refresh it. i've tried it for days, but i can't seem to be able to get it back, so it might be some time before you see a tagboard on my blog. but nevermind, there're still ways you can get to me. you could always send me a msg on friendster or text me, so yes.

when you feel like no one understands you, if you're on the edge of breaking down, no don't give up, i was like this just recently, but i just picked myself up. let your heart and soul not grow cold and weary. and all you got to do is just remember this:

God will make a way
when there seems to be no way
He works in ways
we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
hold me closely to His side
with love and strength
for each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

alright. hope that this might be of help to your broken heart or broken life, but just remember this and keep the faith. life still has to move on, so you would rather lead a happy life then a tired and meaningless life right? (okay i'knw its all easier said then done, but you just got to try it. at least try, cos i'm trying too. sigh.)

i'm leaving for JB to train on thursday morning and i won't be back in s'pore till monday afternoon(2-6 dec). i don't know if i'll be updating before i leave, but i doubt so, cos i'm lazy and so if there's anything, any msg to drop, you could text me cos i have auto roaming. but if you don't have my actual number, you could get it from me before i leave, but just in case, i'll leave my prepaid number on my friendster acct so you could use it to msg me if its urgent, then i'll reply with my acutal number. alright? and so, i'm off people. take care. :)

i wished for heaven, but with you heaven already seem so close

no you don't know what its like, to be like me

i don't know how to put this across, there're so many things i want to say, but they all just seem too difficult to put it across nicely, so it doesn't hurt anyone, or rather the person i'm referring to, oh and most importantly, so that it doesn't sound like i'm bitching or something, cos that's not what i'm trying to do and i might do it un-intentionally. its so difficult to keep to that limit, sometimes i just don't know what to do, so i end up keeping it to myself, and yes i'm keeping it to myself, its just so pissed off for me. and sometimes, its amusing how i can make myself do that, when i just simply want to put across to let the person understanding how i feel. okay, so do you get it? oh nevermind. pretend you never read anything, cos i don't really understand what i'm typing either.

-

i would rather hurt myself
then to ever make you cry.
but do you feel my pain?

-

i'm like how cheesed off, but i'm happy, cos christmas is coming. oh you wouldn't know how much i actually love christmas okay. no you actually don't. anyway, the best thing is that christmas this year will be so much better, cos, well i'm not going to reveal anything yet, but it just can't get any better this year. well, thats if everything goes right, at least i pray so. sigh.

gwen's birthday bbq is tomorrow, and i need to shop for her present before training, or else i'll have no time to do so. oh dear, she wants a russia flag, so where the hell can i get one? haha so if you've any idea of where to get a russia flag, please text me later. its urgent. training later, but today's going to be different, cos RI won't be there, cos they're off in jb for their training. so is that good or bad? i say good. haha. but anyway, this's going to be our last training before we all head to jb for our training. is that good or bad? i say good again. ohwell.

with the radios all turned up so loud, no one hears you screaming

cos its in my head, i'm thinking and its all spinning again

hey. training today. we did what we do as usual, physical before training and of cos, as usual, training with the RI boys. come to think of it logically, they're actually helping us out with our trainings, so maybe we shouldn't be thinking of only the bad things about them. oops. anyway, nothing much interesting or spectacular. and i'm just burning myself out as each training passes. just pray that i'll be alive till the end with everyone please, cos maybe i'll break down before everything ends. :(

i just woke up from a long nap, i know i'm a pig, and i know its like kind of impossible to let you feel how tired i really am, but i'm so tired i don't know how to put it. you might say that i've no life, cos i keep on saying that i'm tired, but if you'll ever know how tired i feel, then maybe you won't blame me for complaining and whining everytime i blog. but i do have a life, seriously.

my head've been spinning the moment i got home today and its hurting so bad. someone shoot me please. but okay i'm happy about one thing, at least. when i weight myself just now, i just realised that i've lost 1.5kg within a week, which might sound like a crazy and bad thing to you, but i think its actually good for me. cos all that i've been doing, its for the cause of losing weight and i'm finally losing weight. -beams :)

sometimes i ask myself whether its worth doing all these shit to myself, just to lose weight. well, maybe i've got nothing much to lose too, i'm not exactly that very fat(okay i'm not even fat), but wait, i'm not like slim either. i tried telling myself that i was okay, many others tried telling me too, but each day seem more difficult to get pass and i gave up on reasoning with myself, since i can't make myself stop trying to lose weight. and here i am, tiring and burning myself out, to lose weight. oh God.

i can't go for a holiday this year, i can't go for a holiday this year. but why, why why? eeeks i've been dying to go to either paris or switzeland and daddy have to disappoint me, again, cos of work. this is so unfair. -sulks

oh and, i'm over with both of my old eyecandies, i've got a new EYECANDY! yay! :)

alright. that shall be all. i haven't been blogging so much since a gazillion years. so there. take care people, i'm off. bye.

i'm looking at you from afar; dream a little, dream of me

Lord, please grant me your peace to move on, i need your mercy and grace.

hey. i fell asleep at five in the morning and woke up at seven. sigh i'm really deprived of sleep these days. anyhows, i had a really wierd dream last night. i dreamt of one of my friend becoming a dog, and then the dog(my friend) became my pet. okay i know this is dumb, but i can have really the most crazy and stupid dreams i never can understand sometimes. nevermind i'm not going to reveal who my dog friend is anyway. HAHA.

i know i don't have the right to judge others, cos i can't even judge myself the way God actually judge me, i hate to judge too, but sometimes i just can't help it. i don't know whats the right way of putting it across, but how about putting it this way; i don't exactly know the way to judge others, cos i'm also judged by God. but sometimes, situations and circumstances just forced me to do that. my tolerance level is reaching its highest point, i've been tolerating with so many shits and craps from everyone, everything is pushing me, i can't take this anymore. i'm breaking down.

i think i'm crazy i'm on some super crazy dieting plan, i'm taking a less then 300 calories intake everyday, fasting for two days a week, training and exercising on my own and some other thing which is speeding up everything. yes i'm losing weight, but i'm afraid i can't take this anymore. i always get mental block and i try to escape from everything by sleeping. anyway, i don't even think i need to lose weight. i just don't know what i'm doing to myself. sigh. Lord, please forgive me.

and don't push it, i'm reaching the end.

do you ever feel like breaking down?

hey. i'm finally updating now, so are you happy? anyway, the hols are still more or less the same, nothing much spectacular or happening. just some extra maths lessons and basic malay lessons. don't get it wrong, of cos i'm not a malay, but the malay lesson are just to help the hockey team know some basic malay cos we'll be going to malaysia for the following few years, and so miss martens decides that we should have at least some malay language knowledge. that is why we're having malay lessons.

oh and how can i forget about, hockey TRAININGS? yup we've been training quite hard, doing physical and running more then usual and our stamina is picking up, which is quite a good thing. well, at least i think my stamina had improved abit. and we've been training with RI and i think we'll continue to train with them for the whole of the hols. training with them is not exactly good, but i think its okay.

i have nothing to update. i'm going to say this again, and i know i've been saying this even in the past few posts; i'm tired, very tired. and i just feel like breaking down. i'm off. bye.

she wants to go home, but nobody's home.

i say this again; its more then just a pretty face that matters, its in the heart.

hey, have not been blogging for quite some time; wasn't in the actual mood to do that, thats it. anw, i think my life is getting screwed. so many terrible things are happening. i just wish that i could stay at home and be stuck in my house forever. i'm tired of the world. and the worst thing to add; my maid is leaving in two days, on thursday. sigh and i know i'll take a long time to adapt to life without a maid. okay i know this sounds stupid, but i've been having a maid, all my life till now and my parents decides that its time for my siblings and me to be independent and so everything ourselves, and plus all my maids have been giving trouble, i've changed five maids this whole year. okay so i won't be having a maid for some time, this is the end. i didn't see my two eyecandies for so long, i'm giving up. :(

I DIDN'T SEE MY EYECANDY TODAY AGAIN AND I'M PISSED. -POUTS

i just want to be, i just want to be with you

mmm i'm back from church and i didn't see my eyecandy today. grrr he wasn't at the lobby after my church ended like always. he should be there, but he wasn't there today. just a bunch of little boys kicking a ball around. sigh okay i'll just have to wait for next week then. hopefully i can get to just see him, then i'll be more then happy. haha.

mmm there're some people who just can't keep their words and their promise, they just make empty promises. i mean, whats that for? if you can't keep your promise then please just close your mouth and don't let those words slip out your lips. its not exactly very quite nice to make empty promises and make others go happy for awhile. and whats so much with the world, the material and branded stuffs? are those things really important? do they really make you happy? if they do, then i'm sad to say; you belong to this world, which is not of the heavenly father.

looking forward to cheryl's BBQ this tuesday. at least i have something to do on tues. mmm i think i'll be having dental appointment on wednesday and some family appointment, so i might not be able to attend trng on wednesday. there's trng tomorrow and i need to get my rest early tonight. yawn.

oh and there's someone who's starting to spam my tagboard again. i dunno whether its the same people, but whatever. i don't think i offended anyone and why don't i have the right to have a tag board? if you say i'm asking for trouble by putting a tagboard at my blog, then i ask you, what trouble am i inviting? you to spam my board? but hey, i didn't invite you to spam my blog that is, and if you would just like to save some trouble for both yourself and me, then just sod of please.

anyway,
happy halloween! :)
after halloween, its boxing day, then its my favourite; RED CHRISTMAS! yay! :)

-

` blame it on the boggie

a thousand miles, vanessa carlton

making my way downtown
walking fast
faces passed
and i'm home bound

staring blankly ahead
just making my way
making my way
through the crowd

and i need you
and i miss you
and now i wonder...

if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
qould pass me by
'cause you know
i'd walk
a thousand miles
if I could
just see you
tonight

it's always times like these
when i think of you
and i wonder
if you ever
think of me

'cause everything's so wrong
and i don't belong
living in your
precious memories

'cause i need you
and i miss you
and now i wonder...

if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by
'cause you know i'd walk
a thousand miles
if i could
just see you
tonight

and i,
i don't want to let you know
i, i
drown in your memory
i, i
don't want to let this go
i, i
don't...

making my way downtown
walking fast
faces passed
and i'm home bound

staring blankly ahead
just making my way
making my way
through the crowd

and i still need you
and i still miss you
and now i wonder...

if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
qould pass us by
'cause you know
i'd walk
a thousand miles
if could
just see you...

ff i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by
'cause you know
i'd walk
a thousand miles
if i could
just see you
if i could
just hold you
tonight

-

mmm i love this song. anyway, my post for today is below. :)

-

good morning sir, would you like to donate?

today was flag day, i was selling flags in town. it wasn't really that good or great either. we didn't exactly did our job well, we were slacking after the first hour but at least we managed to collect quite a bit, it wasn't exactly easy, cos there were many other schools selling flags too. but above everything, it just made me realised something; singaporeans are selfish and stingy. horrible people. i dunno why people carrying LV, gucci, pranda, valentino, dior bags(whatever brands you can think of) and those even wearing gucci pants, dior sunglasses and LV shoes, so sophiscicated dressed can't just stop and drop even a single cent into the donation bag. i mean they're those of the people with higher and better living standards then the rest, and thats why they should be those who have better financial ability to donate more, okay don't talk about more, but they don't even donate a cent. they just walk pass and pretend like they didn't see you or even better, tell you they don't have small change to drop a donation. but since they're so rich they have so much big notes, then why can't they just drop them in? its for a good cause anyway, its not as if we're begging them for money. horrible rich people, i call them; poor little rich people. they're rich cos they have a lot of money, but they're poor cos they're selfish and stingy. its those commoner wearing simple clothes and taking no brand bags that donate, some even donate notes.

what is the world becoming?

-

anyway, i saw the remaining singapore idol finalists; olinda*, sylvester, taufik, leandre and daphne. they were having a public appearence outside heeren. haha i was so excited especially when i saw olinda. cos i can't help but love that girl. she's so cute and i love her so much. i think she's the best with the best talent and attitude towards changing for the better and singing, and i want her to win. i LOVE olinda. she's my sexy mama. yay! :)

oh i have church tomorrow and i can see my eyecandy. haha i'm so happy i'm so excited i can't wait for church to end, i can wait to see him. oops.

-

is a never wish better then this, when you only got a hundred years to live

in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you

hello folks. good news, i don't have to retain next year. i wasn't given a chance to, i wasn't allowed to retain by the school, but given the chance, i would. i want to start all over again. but since i can retain, i'll promote to sec3 express and start all over again.

it isn't difficult to believe that its the end of school term, end of the whole school year, cos time really flies. i'm feeling great and not too great, i'm having mixed feelings about end of the school year. of cos its great that we could put away our books and enjoy this hols. okay i know its not as if we studied really hard that we deserved a good break, but its still a chance for us to take a break from school, well at least for myself. i'm really tired of school, i need a break, i need my rest.

i'm not feeling too great about end of school term cos its my streaming year and i know that i'm gonna miss my sec2 class, being in a class together. i know when it comes to splitting up or graduation, i'll just be filled with emotions. i dunno whether its a good thing, but i think its always sad to split up, especially when you think that you've found the friends, those that you would really want to keep for life. i dunno about the rest, but i know im going to miss being in the same class with everyone.

its not like we(2b) have the best student or maybe have the prettiest in the school or anything like that. we were actually nothing, but i can see everyone grow from inmature silly little girls from sec1 to more matured girls in sec2. it has been two years, two long years, but it seem like it was just yesterday. there're so many fond memories that will always be kept close to my heart. i'll remember our sec1 orientation camp, sec1 efl, sec2 efl camp and the recent class BBQ party. come to think of all these, i just feel so warm.

so much had happend this two years. both good and bad, but i've learnt a lot from everything that had happened and to accept everyone the way she is. there were some conflicts, and i'm here to apologise to those whom i've scolded, offended and even hurt in anyways. i'm really sorry but its what we've all gone through that made us stronger and make us bond closer to each other right? please don't take anything to heart.

i feel like doing shoutouts;

2b girls(everyone)
hey girls, these two years spent with all of you was really great and enriching. i've learnt a lot from all of you and i know my sec1 and 2 wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for all of you there, it wouldn't have been the charisa here. although i hate splitting and if i were given a choice, i would chose to stay with all of you. i hate to say this, but when there's a beginning, there's an ending. its the end of out two years together. i really appreciate all you girls and all the precious memories we had will always be kept close to my heart. all the best in all your different classes, continue to study hard and do well. i know 2b girls are strong and we'll all do it together, no matter where we are alright? i can't help it but i'm going to miss studying with each and everyone of you. 1/2b is a rocks! i LOVE you girls. :)

brenda
hey pebbles! its the end of the year. yay! haha maybe not. just want to thank you again for tolerating my nonsense and my bitchfits at times. i know you're a friend that i'll keep no matter what, no matter when, no matter how long. train hard during the hols. love you :)

cheryl goh
hey you smart girl! its the end of the year, and i know i'll be missing you during the hols and when we split into different classes. jus continue to study hard yes? i know you'll go very far, with your brains. sorry about the conflict we had before and sorry for scolding you that time. i still feel bad about it. haha thanks for everything. -iLy

yi ting
pretty girl! i dunno whether you'll get to read this, but just want to thank you for all the things you've done and helped me through. i know you'll go far with your brains too. just study hard and don't slack. i'll miss you during the hols. iLOVEyousexy.

kylie
my dear councillor, i really had fun hating and loving you. although i only found you more likeable towards the end of the year, but thank you for not catching my belt, eating in class, to using my phone in class. haha no la, actually, thank you for everything. i think you're really nice and i've learnt to like you, but now that we're splitting, i'll miss you. i love you too k. -hug

felicia and joanne
my dears! i will really miss the two of you sitting behind me in classes. you're my best sitting partners in class and i LOVE you! takecare sweets.

shenevie
hello. i know this last term haf been really hard for you. it would have been hard on me if i were you too. all these while, i hope that you've learnt, and not make those same mistakes again. i'm sorry for scolding you and we're still friends k.

maria
mmm so you think i don't miss you la. i miss you too okay. i enjoyed gonig out with you today and yes, we'll go out during the hols but you must date me cos i dunno when you're availale. yes of cos i would want to go into the same class as you. lets see our fate. okay takecare. i'll miss you. i LOVE my genius! :)

eleanor
my precious BOO! i miss you so much where have you been these two days? i know you're studying hard for you Os and all the best for your Os alright? i know you can do it. do your best and God will do the rest. i'll be praying for you. i miss you, i LOVE you! :)

-

i'll do anything, just to get to you again

sigh. i think i should be fine. i was going through some terrible and maybe the most difficult phrase of my life till now, the last few days. bad tummy upset and really disgusting results. anw, thanks to those who were concerned. i'm fine and i think i should be able to pull through this. i'm strong, remember? and i think i've came to my final decision. i want to appeal to retain sec2 next year, cause i don't want to promote to sec3 express and get the terrible subj combination. anw, thank God that my parents and family are supportive of me retaining. at least i still have them even if the whole world looks down on me. i'll most probably be promoted and i dunno if its possible for me to retain, but i want to retain. okay i know i sound stupid saying this, but it really wasn't a easy decision to make and its easier said then done. its too late to regret now. yes i would waste one year, but i think i rather waste one year then waste my whole life just because of my failure this time. i don't care about what others will think of me after i retain, but i'm doing this for myself and i want to study sec2 all over again. i'm sick of town, i'm sick of money, i'm sick of all the material stuffs, i'm sick of this world. i'm already over all those. all i want to concentrate doing is, study. sigh. people, just pray for me.

ele and hannah: thanks alright? i should be okay, i guess. takecare too. i miss my BOO and my hannah. see you two sweets soon alright. i'm missing you more each day. -hugs :)

my life is in a horrible shit mess now i dunno what i'm doing i think i'm going bonkers i think i'm gonna die soon. okay blame it on me, those stupid horrible results, those damn things that have been happening these few days. all and all, everything; its all my fault. but its too sometimes, its just too late to regret. yes i know its all done(its easier said then done) yes i know, but this is my end. i'm better off somewhere else then this terrible hellhole. oh and please everyone, please leave me alone. bye.

even heros have the right to bleed \

please please, will you be MY BOO? <3

i've finally decided and i've made up my mind. i'm getting really really tired of going to town and walking around aimlessly. its just like some lost sheep moving around looking for some grass to eat, in this case, walking around and looking for something interesting to do. but but, there seem to be nothing much to do in town, cos when you visit it so frequently, like almost every other day and went into almost every shop and everywhere so many gazillion times. it can really get very very very boring. so i decided, i will not be going to town so often anymore. i shall find some other place to go to or find something interesting to do. mmm i feel like reading and reading now. so people, you wouldn't be seeing me in town so often anymore. so come find me, peek-a-boo. (:

dadidums i'm so happy i'm going to church tomorrow and that means i'll get a chance to see one of my eyecandy. mmm i'm so excited i can't wait to get to church and wait for service to end then i might get to see him. okay i hope i will. :)

eleanor*
hey sweetums, you're and you'll always be my most special* BOO, really you are. anw, thanks for your shoutout. i'm not sweet i think you're the one who took too much chocos and you're really really damn sweet. i can't stand you, i can't resist you dear. haha that sounds wrong. but i love you. you know that i love you and i know that you love me. -ily*

i would give my lifetime, just to be with you

hey. i'm back from leilani's house. slept over at her house last night after the class BBQ party. the class BBQ is finally over and i'm so glad that everything had gone well.

class BBQ party (yesterday)
went to leilani's house early, at about ten with cheryl, sasha and yiting. adeline, brenda, grace and samantha came later. haha then we went to swim and tann, but there wasn't really any sun that was strong enough for sun tanning. so in the end, we ending up swimming and playing with water and the huge float that leilani have. oh and we went to the suana.

mmm, i didn't know i look like eighteen and i can buy hooch. haha it was quite a long time since i last drank. okay i know its funny, cos i don't think i really look eighteen but i still managed to buy hooch. ohwell.

it started to rain at five plus, before the BBQ started. and everyone was quite worried and disappointed cos if it's going to rain heavily, it would disrupt our plan and our efforts. haha so we were really anxious and so we decided to bring all the food down and shelter them before the rain gets too big for us to bring the food and stuffs downstairs.

yes it rained, there were continuous thunders and we were all sitting under the shelter with some rain splattering at us when the wind blows. everyone was so scared that they would get electrocuted by the lighting. haha it was really silly. i prayed for the rain to subside and we waited and waited, and yes, God is good. the lightnings soon passed us and the rain soon stopped. and we were able to start the fire going.

so we used a few really huge unbrella and shelter the BBQ pit from the slight drizzle and the wind. we were trying to start the fire and after a few attempts, we got the fire going. and everyone soon came and it was messy with everyone walking here and my hp was ringing continously cos everyone was calling me and i was really busy.

we were really lucky cos the rain stopped exactly at the time when everyone reached. thank God. we were bored and while waiting for sasha to start the fire, so i started the idea of pushing people into the pool. we started to push people into the swimming pool. so everyone who were around got pushed into the pool and were all wet. haha it was so funny.

mr tan and miss goh came to join us and mr tan bought us a chocolate cake which was quite delicious(but fattening). haha and of cos we didn't missed the chance of pushing mr tan into the pool. everyone too away his hp, wallet and we threw him into the pool. the security guards are horrible. they kept on coming to us and told us that we must be in our swimsuit to go into the pool. they even stared at us for a long time. so annoying.

but it was not as if we really care about what they say, so we continued pushing each other into the pool. i was in my swimsuit, so i was okay. but everyone was all wet in their clothes. haha. the guard came to us for so many times, telling us not to push people into the pool, bla bla. and we didn't know what we could do to shut their mouths up and since there were too much food, we cooked some and offered it to them. but it was pointless. they still kept coming to tell us off. stupid pig brains guards.

the most fun thing was towards the end, since almost everyone was already all wet, so we decided to go to the playground pool and play there, cos it was quite far from where all the guards were and they wouldn't be able to spot us that easily if we don't scream too much. so we went there to play. it was uber fun. and when the guards come, everyone ran to hide behind the concrete wall leaving me and those who were in swimsuit and we managed to chase the guard off by splashing water at him. and when he went away, everyone came back to play. and the whole thing repeated quite a few time. haha those silly cockroaches.

time was up and everyone had to leave. so we stopped playing, went to eat some more food and cleared up the place. by eleven plus, we finished clearing up the place and everyone left. though not everyone came, i hope everyone who attended enjoyed the BBQ and the fun.

anyway, there's school tomorrow and i'm quite anxious and worried for my results. sigh. just pray that everything would be alright. takecare people. i'm off. (:

give thanks with a grateful heart.

mr big - to be with you

hold on little girl
show me what he's done to you
stand up little girl
a broken heart can't be that bad
when it's through, it's through
fate could twist the both of you
so come on baby come on over
let me be the one to show you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

build up your confidence
so you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
little boys that talk too much
i've seen it all go down
your game of love was all rained out
so come on baby, come on over
let me be the one to hold you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it yoo
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

why be alone
when we can be together baby
yuo can make my life worthwhile
i can make you start to smile

when it's through, it's through
fate could twist the both of you
so come on baby, come on over
let me be the one to show you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

just to be the next to be with you

all of my thoughts, all of my words; its all about you

hello everyone. it has been quite long since the last time i blogged. anyway, i screwed up my lit paper. and the stupid eoys are not over yet. yes i'm dying for them to end. i can't wait for the eoys to be officially over. cos almost everyone is already having fun and kicking but i'm still stuck here with my eoys. its not that i'm not allowed to be out, but even if i'm out, i won't have the full swing to play. but its all going to be over soon, just next tuesday.

many uneventful things had happened, i don't wish to elaborate, but i know God sees beauty in all bad situations and circumstances. sigh. the world these days is getting to become a more and more terrible state. there seem to be no love anymore. everyone are just so self-centered and only cares for his/her well being, but not for those around. what is the world becoming of? mmm, the end times are coming, really coming.

okay enough of those sad stuffs, haha anyway, did i mentioned that i got a new eyecandy? haha he's so cute, he's so sweet and he's so hot! and maybe he turns me on. haha just kidding. mmm so much for having eyecandies and crushes. you're looking so delicious.

alright. thats about all, don't ask me who's my eyecandy, cos i won't say and i really won't tell! okay study hard people, just two more days, we're free from all the weight of the eoy exams. (:

all of my days, i want to praise, the wonders of your mighty love.

White Houses, Vanessa Carlton

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This bungalow alone with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alrightAnd I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been So I go,
and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses I lie,
put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
in white houses [x3]

i will always sing of your constant love; i will proclaim your faithfulness forever.

God is really good. God is faithful, in all good and bad times. i mean, God have been really gracious and merciful to me. nothing can be compared to God's faithfulness.

i was sleeping last night, and throughout the night, i suddenly had a very very bad migrane. i dunno what was the cause of it, but it really hurts alot. i tried to continue sleeping, but the pain started to get worst and worst. it was really painful, so much so that i woke up crying. i dunno what happened, all i know was i was crying through the night. i had no choice, cos it was really too painful, i woke daddy and mummy up. then we prayed, and they talked to me until five in the morning, then i went back to sleep. when i woke up just now, the pain was almost gone and i felt so much better.

God listens to prayer, and He really answer prayers. a prayer can really change things; a prayer that is not long by length, but the amount of faith there is in a prayer.

nothing seem to be bothering me anymore. im getting along with life, and i just want to thank God for everything.

angels come and adore you, and we your children worship you

hello. it has been a really long time since i last blogged. and i just realised that my blog is quite dead these days, especially when i don't blog and no one logs on to look at it, cos there's nothing new to read. that is why, im finally blogging now.

so many things have happened these few weeks, good and bad, happy and sad. but all in all, i really thank God for bringing me through all my problems and trails.

anw, the good thing is that, the english paper is over. so that means i can put aside on subject and focus on the rest. i could have felt that i've just put down a burden when the english exam was over. haha. such a good feeling.

i feel really small these days. life'd been so busy these days. so much so that i've been caught up with my own stuffs and even things of the world. the things of this world seem to be really alluring, and even hypnotising sometimes, i say hypnotising because, sometimes, i get really too caught up with those things i see in fashion mags, advertisments, in shopping malls, in town and actually everywhere.

its quite scary sometimes, when i think of it. this world is going into a worser state everyday, more things are created, means more sins are made too. but all the things of this world are of sins, not of the Father, and they will never be.

yes, of cos i know that. but its easier said then actually done. i've been in a bad state nowadays. i know i've neglected God, and i know that i've been treating Him as my part-time friend. when i'm in need, i'll go to him and beg him for help, but when my life seem to be taking off well, i forget all about this God, of whom without Him, i wouldn't have been what i am now. i owed it all to you, God.

-

Lord, i know i've been a worldly-being these days. i haven't been a holy-being, what you wanted me to be. i know i've disappointed you in so many ways, but Lord, there's really so much i wanted to do, so much i wanted to stop myself from falling into temptations again and again, but so much is easily said then done. Lord, my faith is weak, and i know you know it, you know how i'm made, you know that i'm dust. sometimes i really want to come to you and confess all my sins and wrong-doings. but at times, i'm even too guilty to face you, for you've given me so many chances to repent, but yet, i've chosen the easier way out. and i've been sinning against you. Lord, i know that so much that you hate sins, but you still love me. Lord, i want to walk the narrow way. i know that it'll never be easy, but Lord, i know that i'm walking this walk with you, and i know with you, nothing will be too difficult. because Lord, you've already overcome all sins, and the price you paid for us on the cross, bearing all our sins and shame, was because of your love and your amazing grace. i might not be able to understand your love for sinners like me, but Lord, i know that, in love, you came. thank you for your nail pierced hands, your love, your forgiveness that washed my sins, still cleansing, still flowing. thank you, Lord. i want to be the child you want me to be, not of what the world wants me to be. because Lord, i know that i'm living, not for myself, but for you, Lord. and i know that no matter what, Lord, you will never forske me. Lord, forgive me of my sins, renew me, and keep me strong in faith. Lord, i want to try and be the child you want me to be. i want to be living for you, i want a break-through in my life, i want you shine for you. use me for your glory Lord, cause Lord, you're my everything, my Lord, my Saviour, my world.

Jesus, You're the lover of my soul. i'm falling deeper in love with You each day, cause You've taken me from the start and even though my world may fall, You'll never let me go. My Saviour, my closest friend, I will worship You until the very end.

-

You are My World ; Hillsong

My father, i adore you more than anything my heart could wish for
I just want you
And Jesus, my beloved Saviour everything I have, I owe to you
I owe it all to you

And angels come and adore you
And we, your children worship you

You are my world, you are my God
And I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord, the one I love
No one could ever take your place

And everything I have I give to You, my Lord the one I live for
I live for You
And all my days are gifts from You, I pray I'd use them as You want me to
Use them for You

hello! im finally blogging now. anw, i think tagboard is down or something, cos everyone's tagboard can't be seen. so sad. haha. nevermind.

i dunno what im doing here, but i think it'll be quite some time before i'll blog, cos the eoys are in just three weeks time. mmm. not actually, cos it was suppose to be two weeks more, but it was extended to a week more, so tht we have more time.

anyway, the english paper is at the end of this month. so i better stop coming online. anw, i see lesser people online and lesser students in shopping malls everyday. haha. guess, everyone is trying to mugg for the eoys.

alright. thts about all. nights world! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIA! (:

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to MARIA
happy birthday to you! yay!

hello dear, i didnt want to blog, but since its your birthday today, i shall dedicate this post to you. hope tht you had a happy day today, though there was school, and the eoys are just arnd the corner, but i just hope tht your day was great. anw, stay as nice and cute although ure a year older already. and study hard for the coming eoys alright. takecare. iloveyoubaby! (:

-

your grace was found so deep within me, i call it amazing grace

dido ; here with me

i didnt hear you leave
i wonder how am i still here
and i dont want to move a thing
it might change my memory

chorus*
oh i am what i am
i'll do what want
but i cant hide
i wont go
i wont sleep
i cant breathe
until you're resting here with me
i wont leave
i can't hide
i cannot be
until you're resting here with me

i don't want to call my friends
they might wake me from this dream
and i can't leave this bed
risk forgetting all that's been

chorus*

i want to make you feel beautiful ;

hello. just got home frm church and tuition. tuition was fun, cos everyone stayed behind in church to study and accompany me. haha. so nice right. tuition was okay la. quite slack though, but who cares. haha. i like it better like tht.

i didnt eat anything frm morning till dinner, but im feeling so bloated, i dunno why. screw my digestive system la. its like, just too weak. so annoying. i better go and see a doctor soon. aiya. i think i'll be alright if i dont eat anymore laxatives.

school is re-opening tomorrow. and tht means, the eoys are coming soon. eoys are extended till a week longer, and it means tht we've got one full month before the actual eoys. one month. its alot of things to catch up and study within this short period of time.

so many things, so little time. ohwell :(

anw, thts abt it la. nights world.

to me, you are perfect.

i knew that you were mine, when i saw you.

hello. i just came home from town. went to school this morning, and was late for oral exams. english orals was okay. not too bad, just tht the descriptive picture part was a little confusing, and i think i just screwed it up. but miss koh kept on laughing throughout our conversation. so i think its a good sign. well, i hope so.

okay. im bored, so i shall blog abt the malaysia trip. anw, i heard tht crescent went to malaysia to train too and i was wondering why we didnt bump into them. and i heard frm polly tht they went to tioman. okay. thts why we didnt have fate to bump into each other. haha.

accomodation was okay. the hotel was quite okay, shall not complain too much, but i think its really freaky. i dunno why, but i cried whn i was in my first allocated room, so i switched room with nicolette and others. shared room with brenda, hitomi and madeline, but madeline left on the second day, and hitomi left on the third day, so bernetta came to join us on the second day.

trainings was like, super uber tiring. we ran alot, played two sides with each other, and we also played with the johor hockey girls. we learnt some new drills and positional plays as well, and so it was really tiring, and we were aching all over after the second day. mr bulb screamed and scolded us like some mad man, as usual, but i think he's really a nice guy off the pitch. he's a cute little old guy. haha.

oh, and we went swimming at the hotel too. the pool water was cool, and everyone was freezing, but i think it was so fun, soaking in the pool after trng, and playing with the water. haha. its really fun and funny.

mr tan gave us a treat tht he owes us, at some small resturant there. oh, and i think the malay or indian burgers, mmm, i think its malay burgers, the food at the roadside stalls and the dukins donuts. haha. they're all so delicious, and i mean, really nice and super yummy!

yupp. thts abt all tht've happened.
theresian hockey, rock on! yay! (:

i just watched the mtv of, maroon five; she will be loved. i think its quite sad, but still sweet. haha. go watch it!

so there. bye world.

even though, i know i would lose a chance with you.

in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you.

hello everyone. im back frm training camp in malaysia. im really really very tired, but this trip has really motivated me to go further, and train harder. well done everyone, you girls trained really hard. continue to keep up with all tht we've learnt. im tired, so i wont blog abt the details today. yupp.

many many things had happened, both good and bad, i dont wish to mention them, and i think my patience is really running dry. i know tht ive made mistakes, and had alot of short-comings, and sorry if ive done anything wrong. i dont know what to say, but so what if im not your perfect girl. so what. im just what i am.

enough said, and lets remember what mr bulb said during de-brief today ;
believe in ourselves and train hard, nothing is impossible. the sky is the limit. we can do it.

anw, there's english oral exam tomorrow. sigh. im so tired, and im losing my voice, i dont know how im going to take the exam properly. just pray tht im okay tomorrow.

yupp. thts abt all. takecare alright. i miss you. much loves! (:

` girl with the broken smile

hey. im tired, and very tired. and the worst thing is, im bored. and no one is talking to me, for one reason or other. they're either out, or busy or whatsoever not. and this is so annoying.

anw, im leaving for malaysia tomorrow to train, frm monday to thursday, and tht means, half of my hols will be spent in malaysia training. and im not really looking forward to it, cos im still having diarhoea. and i dont feel like training, plus i think mr bulb will be torturing us. but i know it'll be fun, no matter what (:

okay. thts abt it. i wont be online for four days, and i'll be back on thurs night. ive got auto roaming, so you can still drop me a msg or smth. so there. takecare alright. loves! (:

`dream a little; dream of me.

they think im a happy, fourteen year old girl, but they dont see how lost i am in this world. everyone is hiding who they truly are, but just remember that lies will never take you far :(

-

why is everyone is hiding who they truly are.

-

`its not easy to be me \

im going out soon. i dunno what im blogging, but as you can see, im just too bored. okay. eh, im going to ps later to buy some stuffs, and eh, adeline ansd leilani is going with me. eh, adeline is meeting me first, and leilani might be late. ohwell. i got nothing to say anymore. i know this is lame, but so what. laters! (:

wish that i could cry; fall upon my knees

im home early today, cos i went to see a doctor and i didnt go for trng. my tummy still hurts now. i dont know what and why im doing this to harm myself, but so what, i'll better be off dead or somewhere else. this world is getting so complicated, and im really getting tired. im tired and im too tired of this world.

ive got a sad life, but so what.

and i cant stand my hair anymore. its getting longer and longer. ohwell. i might just go and cut some of them off. its so annoying.

-

shenevie wong ;
i dunno why am i dedicating another post just especially for you, but i really cant take your nonsense anymore. anw, shenevie wong is you. dont have to doubt whether im mentioning you. yes, its you. oh, ive got smth important to ask you. why didnt you come to school today? all of us miss you so much you know. we so wanted to see your clown face. haha. and what are you saying behind our backs now? dont think tht no one knows. we all know everything okay. since you think tht we framed you, then i ask you this agn; why didnt you stand up for your rights in front of mrs low whn we were all there ystd? if you think tht ure really right, and we were accusing you of doing smth wrong, then i dont see why you dont have the courage to say tht you were right. why do you have to wait till you get home, and tell it to others? and may i ask you, who were the extras standing there and talking to mrs low, together with me? and did i blow up the whole matter? even if i did, am i wrong? and let me tell you smth, i didnt blow up the matter okay. it wasnt a small matter, neither was it a big matter. i really dont wished to bring tht up to mrs low, but ive got no choice. you forced me to. cos since your ego is so high, and you wouldnt want to admit tht ure in the wrong, then too bad. the sadest thing is, until now, you still think tht ure right, and we're all wrong. ohwell, think whatever you want la. if this is the way you want it, then pls dont ever dream of us forgiving you, cos you dont even want to admit your mistakes. ure so incorrigible, and you simply disgusts me. our world doesnt welcome losers like you. get a life and go away!

i shall not mention anymore things. the more i think of it, the more i boils up. sigh. anw, i need someone to accompany me to shopping, to buy the stuffs, cos im leaving for malaysia to train next monday. mmm.

so there. laters! (:

dream a hundred thousand dreams before, now i finally realised \

school was horrible. but at least we got to clarify all our conflicts and everything. it isnt really solved yet, but more or less, we know now who's the bad and good girl.

-

shenevie wong ;
im not trying to be mean abt what im gonna say here. if you dont want to see it, then pls close this window. but if you really want to know what all of us feels abt you, then pls continue reading. i know tht it'll hurt reading this, but no offence to what im saying okay, but this is really what we think. its really amazing how well you can act. you really amuses me. you act like ure so innocent, sometimes, its really difficult for us to tell whether ure telling the truth or not. and ure still telling others, tht we misunderstood you, whn you yourself, willingly admitted tht you did everything we mentioned just now. and if we really wronged you, why didnt you speak up whn mrs low was asking you if you did them? how great your lies can get? and this is so funny. how can i introduce you a guy whom i dont even know, to you. pls dont use my name whenever you like okay. its annoying. you betrayed, back-stabbed and bitched abt so many of us. ure just trying to mess up our lives, and break all of us up. oh, so you think what? its fun doing all these, breaking all of us up? i say, no. ure just annoying and disgusting. you seem like a clown. you have so many different faces, and they're all disgusting. the worst thing is, you dont even have the guts to admit what uve done. if dare to do so many means things, why dont you have the slightest courage to admit them. ure just a coward. you admitted tht ure a bitch, but you know what, i think ure worst then a bitch. ure a fugly slut. i still dont understand why ure doing all these. i dont see what you gain in the end. you only make everyone detest you. dont blame anyone for you plight now. you deserve it. anw, no one will pity you now. and i really mean, no one. just go get a live and go away! oh, and pls remember this; if you want to play bitchy, i'll play it back to you. so, go away now! :(

i'll be off to malaysia to train during the hols, anw. we're going frm monday to thursday. mmm. so four days of my sept hols will be in malaysia trng. haha. i dunno why, but im looking forward to the trng trip. although i'll be missing many things, and you.

and speaking of you, i miss you so much. ohwells.

anw, we still deciding where we shld go next saturday after english orals. anyone can just come along la okay. and pls give me some nice suggestions!:)

yup. thts abt all la. takecare alright. loves! (:

just know tht lies dont get you anywhere`

hello. maths tuition just ended. and im so tired :(

anw, went to town with leilani and adeline just now. we went to coca for steamboat. haha. it was quite fun and so funny. and we were quite full after eating. then we were walking arnd aimlessly. i wanted to buy a top for the past few days, but didnt really see any tht i like.


oh, except maybe for a polo ralph lauren top, and a pink mago skirt. but i havent bought any of them anw.

oh, i almost forgot smth. we went to coffee bean, and we were looking at people walking arnd, and we were trying to identify those taitais. haha. and i found out smth. you can see lots of people, just by sitting in coffee bean. cos, we so coincidentally saw mrs low and her husband. she was clinging to his arm. how sweet (:

and i found out smth more abt ;
fugly slut.

sigh. i shall just stop here. ive got some important things to settle. yup. takecare ya. loves! (:

\ its not easy to be me.

im back from town. i had expected town to be much more crowded then what it was today. but it wasnt. but, nevermind. anw, i watched 13 going on 30 just now. its a nice and sweet show, i think. and maybe a little sad and touching, since leilani cried. haha.

leilani is so cute. she's so emotional, she starts crying at the slightest sad things. there was once whn i was telling her one of my sad story, and she was so sad for me, she cried. mmm, i didnt even cry, but she cried. tht girl ar.

school was fun. we could wear our own clothings to school. and it was the first time ive seen so many of them in skirt. i mean, i wouldnt have gotten a chance to see veena, hafizah and some of the rest in skirt, if it was not for today, and if i didnt 'force' half the class to wear skirt (:

the teacher's day concert was nice. oh, and im sure the teachers had fun looking at their edited photos. the councillors are just too creative.

anw, i so needed to go for a facial and do a nice padicure! its been a long time since i did padicure. almost did it with leilani just now. mmm, i shall do it these few days. yup (:

`i would do anything to keep your tears from falling, but do you feel my pain.

my whole house smells of cookies now. my sista and i have been baking hundreds of cookies, since seven till now. and im so tired of standing in front of the oven, im at my comp now.

the cookies are so nice! (:

anw, tmr is teachers' day, and be yourself day, and so everyone's suppose to be wearing their own clothings. mmm. this is gonna be so fun. then i can see what everyone is wearing. haha. and it'll be so funny irritating and teasing veena, and the rest. yup.

anw, the cookies are done. i need to wrap them up now. so there. takecare alright. loves! (:

hey. im home frm church! im supposed to be out tracting with my youth group now, but im at home, and happily blogging. i didnt go tracting, because of, eh, i shall not reveal. haha.

anw, im feeling pretty much better now, everyone. so dont worry abt me alright. i'll be able to pull through all these. im strong, remember?

today's sermon was on faith. there's a story tht the pastor shared, abt faith, which inspiried me quite abit.

it goes like this:

there was a man with a dream. he wanted to impress the world, by climbing the world highest mountain. he wanted to show the world how powerful he was, and what he could do. he put himself through two years of training, to prepare himself to climb the moutain. two years of trainings finally passed. it was soon time for him to climb the mountain. he was confident tht he would be able to fulfill his dream, and most importantly, impress the world. so he went to climb the mountain. on his way up, night fell, and the sky started to grow darker and darker. he knew tht it would be so dark, tht he would not be able to see anything anymore. but he continued climbing the mountain anyway. up and up he went. and soon, whn he felt tht he was almost reaching the top of the mountain, and whn his dream seem so close to be fulfilled, the sky was all dark. he couldnt see anything. and suddenly, he slipped and fell. whn he fell, he thought to himself tht why is his life like this. he thought tht he've lost everything. and whn he fell to one point, and he stayed still. he found out tht there was actually a rope tied around his waist, tht held him there, in the mid air. he tired all ways to try and save himself, but was all in vain. in the end, and he shouted for God to save him. after shouting and calling out to God for quite some time, he heard a voice. it says: do you really want me to save you? the man replied: yes, i want you to save me. the voice asked agn: you really believe tht i can save you? the man answered: yes Lord, i believe tht you can save me. and the voice answered: alright. i want you to un-tie the rope tht's attached to your waist. the man replied: what? you want me to un-tie the rope which was the only thing, holding me on falling? and in the end, the man was left there alone, and was freezed to death. a few days later, someone found his body. his body was hung on a rope tht was about 10 feet off ground.

this story tells us tht we have to believe in God and have faith in him. its not only vocal faith, saying tht we believe, we believe. its really believing him in our heart. if the man really believed, tht he would be saved, he would have un-tie the rope. and even if he fell off the rope, the rope was only 10 feet off the ground, and he wouldnt have died.

believe in God's words for his words are eternal.

"The Lord exists forever; your word is firmly fixed in heaven. Your faithfulness endures all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast." Pslam 119:89,90

-

i wont put my hands up and surrender ;
there'll be no white flag above my door.

superman ; five for fighting

i can't stand to fly
i'm not that naive
i'm just out to find
the better part of me

i'm more than a bird, i'm more than a plane
more than some pretty face beside a train
and it's not easy to be me

wish that i could cry
fall upon my knees
find a way to lie
about a home i'll never see

it may sound absurd, but don't be naive
even heroes have the right to bleed
i may be disturbed, but won't you conceed
even heroes have the right to dream
and it's not easy to be me

up, up, and away, away from me
it's all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
i'm not crazy or anything

i can't stand to fly
i'm not that naive
men weren't meant to ride
with clouds between their knees

i'm only a man in a silly red sheet
digging for kryptonite on this one way street
only a man in a funny red sheet
looking for special things inside of me

it's not easy to be me

-
ive a sad life, life hates me ; fucking everything.

im home! just took a shower, cos i was just back frm training. training today was at ccab. ive always enjoyed training at ccab, cos i just simply love the pitch there. haha. anw, im dead tired.

ohwell. i dunno why, school have been so tiring. no matter how much i sleep, how much i rest, whatever i do, i'll still be very tired. the worst thing is, there're bad signs, and i think i might get low blood pressure agn.

im going to sleep now. so yeah, thts abt it. laters!

long brown hair \

what goes around, comes back.

i think its so true. everything tht goes arnd, comes back. bad things spreads so quickly, and after awhile, everyone knows it. you dont even realise tht its spreading so fast. sigh. i just dont understand. nvm. i'll get it right someday. just someday :(

im tired. so so tired. i dunno why, but many terrible things have been happening, and they just seem to get worse. nothing's at my side. the world seem to be against me. but i know my conscience is clear. ive got nothing to worry abt. i will make it clear, i just need some time.

anw, nothing seem significant to me anymore. all those things tht i thought was so significant to my life, now seem like nothing. nothing is important to me anymore. practically nothing.

anw, carolyn, if ure reading this, pls give me a call. i need to talk to you terribly. or brenda, if uve reading this, pls get carolyn to call me alright? or anyone la, pls call me. im going to break down soon. this is so terrible. sigh.

alright. this shall all for today. i need to get my work done. rest well alright. loves (:

im home, frm macritchie run! just took my bath, and i feel so clean now. i was sweating like anything and i was so stinky. and the worst thing happened to me whn i reached home. i found out tht, ohwell, you know tht thing? anw, i smell so nice now. and im hungry. but there isnt anything to eat. sigh.

macritchie run was uber tiring la. we ran a total of 6km, and maybe a little more then tht. and my timings were really terrible. i ran my best for the first round, walked half of the second run, and improved on half a minute for the last run. my knee still hurts whn i run.

mr bulb was saying tht we shld be running 40km everyweek. and i think thts totally crazy. how are we suppose to do tht? we're not professional runners, and we're not even running for spore. so why shld we be running so much? anw, i dont think we can do it la. so there.

the path we ran was so rocky and full of monkeys running everywhere. and we were screaming, as we were running along the path with so many monkeys.

and now i found out smth; stc girls are scared of monkeys.

so much for the macritchie run; im so tired now. i need my bed.

anw, the sec2s have to wear yellow for be youself day, which is on teachers' day, next tuesday. it'll be so horrible. imagine the whole sec2 cohort wearing yellow. we'll look like walking bananas. i wonder who was the crazy person who gave the idea of this thing. so annoying.

thts abt all for today. i need to get some work done. the eoys are coming soon, and i need to start my revision, and start mugging now. and i need a rest; im tired. bye.

period; \

im back home frm sch early today. sch havent been really great anw :)

oh, smth interesting tht is, there're eight japanese girls frm the chij convent in japan who're over in sch for an exchange programme. i was really excited whn i saw them okay. there're like so cute. haha. i like the way they speak and their hairstyles. oh, and their convent uniform is unique. its a little different frm ours. they still wear pinafole and blouse, but they wore black shoes, with high white socks. and they look so cute! (:

im really tired of the life im leading, and everything. things havent been going well for me, im having the wrong mindset of many of things, im making many mistakes tht i know i shldnt have been making. life havent been so smooth for me either. there're many things happening, many setbacks, its just tht i didnt tell them to anyone. i feel so small.

anw, to my clique, and classmates, im really sorry if ive been pmsing and showing attitude to you girls these days. i didnt mean to break off frm you girls, going straight home after sch almost everyday, ignoring you sometimes, but im really tired of everything. i need a break frm everything. sometimes i just wished tht i could sleep forever, and never have to wake up anymore.

pls dont hold anything ive done against me alright. pls understand my situation. ive got enough of my own problems to worry abt. im grateful tht all of you are patiently tolerating my nonsense and childplays. im really really sorry for everything.

dont worry too much. im alright. i just need a good break. takecare too alright. loves! (:

` not your perfect girl

hey. this is my new blog, the old one doesnt exist anymore. sp pls relink alright, anw, i didnt find this layout anywhere, neither did i made it myself. jiaen helped my out of this. haha. really got to thank her for this.

anw, im getting really bored. ive been a good girl, staying at home, and watchnig the olympics, and i find it ubercool. anw, aus and usa'd just created a new world swimming records. yay (:

when its about you, its all about you ;