sorry i can't be perfect

sometimes i can't help wonder what's the perfect reason of life. life is so tough with so much ups & downs & it's just too unpredictable. you never know when something will happen & take your life away. our lives are in God's hands. i mean we all gotta die & leave this world. it's just whether or not we get to 'experience' life on earth. well, it's important cause if i wasn't born to this earth, i would have missed out on alot. all the wonderful people i've met & known, all the fun play & shopping. & not forgetting, the experience of God's manifestation of His great love, grace & mercy.

& the thing with human being is that we always tend to compare what we have with others. even our life, the quality of life, the things happening in others' life & we somewhat never seem to be satisfied with our own life. we always feel that others have a better life than us, like the grass is always greener on the other side, but hey. it's as difficult, if not even more difficult to cut.

yeah you can't chose how you look which family you're born in but you got a choice how you wanna shape your life. so now we all gotta learn to look at the positive side of life. i gotta learn too. life's more than just all the material comfort. much much more than that. i don't care what people say, it's alright cause jackass i can't make everyone happy. i'll just do the right thing even if it doesn't fit the world. i should learn to appreciate things & people around me more & whine less. that'll do me alot of good. & study hard for next year. that's the first piority as for now. yeah i'll go be a good girl & study.

wait, shopping tmrw first. haha.

i don't wanna live without you
but i don't wanna live a lie

have you ever wondered why some things happens? nothing happens without a reason. but somethings just happens at the wrong time. omg so wrong. wrong wrong & wrong. get it? sigh i doubt you do.

anyway, blessed chrissymas!

do you feel lost inside
of someone else's life?

hey. it'd been a gazillion years since i posted an entry. well, maybe not really a gazillion years but it feels like i haven't been taking care of my blog for a looooong time. who wanna be my blog care-taker? haha.

back from malaysia (malacca, kl & penang). everything was good except for many people falling sick during the trip. get well soon! tournament was good. two teams got into the finals & fer lai got the best goalie award & ms martens got the best player award. we met the obs boys at kl mega mall. & 'accidentally' met charlton on the road. haha how small the world is boy! the team bonded quite abit, food was good, shooooopping was good. everything is great!

there's flooding in four northern states of malaysia and we were in penang (also a northern state) when that happened. all thanks to God cause we only experience small rains that didn't result in flooding. & we all came back safely. remember last year there was the tsunami & penang also got hit? we came back on the 22th & the tsunami came on the 26th. we got back on the same week as the tsunami. so close! God is good, all the time.

do you feel the christmas cheer? jingle jingle all the way, cause santa claus is coming to town! haha well maybe not. that's only for kids like you. christmas is merely four days away & i don't feel the christmas spirit & cheer at all. maybe i've been too busy & caught up with things in life that i don't feel christmas anymore.

many many parties coming up. which ones should i go? i'm in such a delimma. maybe i just won't go for all? haha.

alright. that's bout it for today. it's more like a blog 'revival'. so for those who think that my blog is dead, hey it'd just been revived :) get busy with all your christmas shopping & celebrations people. bye lovelies!

confessionals

it's been awhile since i'm back from lumut. okay but not to mention that all our hearts are somewhat still back there. ohwell. life back home is great. i've everything i want & everything comes so easily available back here. but life just feels different after coming back from lumut, in both good & bad ways i think. i'm always wondering why.

met up with lydia yesterday night in town :) so nice to see her. but we didn't have much time with her. hope to see her & everyone soon. everyone in oyp, come to sg okay. missing you guys a whole damn lot! :(

i'm overspending alot, especially the frozen cash & i think i should stop. december just started & i need cash especially chrissymas. these few years'd been bad cause i don't really feel the christmas cheer & spirit anymore. i want party party party! when i was a kid, i was always soooooo excited & happy about christmas. for Christ the Saviour was born & is to come.

okay okay. i shall stop here & tell the christmas story another time alright? stay tune my loves.

you're my sunshine

back from OMB LUMUT yesterday. this is the best camp i'd ever had. i think i've leant alot & grown from this camp. first two days of the camp was more of ice-breaking & getting to know others. then we did rope climing & the basics of kayaking, building tents & setting fire. the first expedition for my group was the kayaking(sea) expedition. we kayaked to pulau pangkor island, did abseiling & camped for a night there. then it was the solo camp. i'm so lucky to get my tent next to the waterfall so i could bath. the camp was supposingly supposed to be alone(solo) but we ended up having more like a picnic & talked alot. then when the instructors came, everyone scrammed back to their tents. & they're so sweet they brought me food they cooked for dinner cause i can't start a fire. the night was so freaky i kept wondering if there are animals around my tent. by seven pm it was pitched dark so i went to sleep. the night alone was so damn long & time seemed to pass too slowly. the last expedition was the land expedition & it's the most enjoyable & memorable one for me. we trekked in the jungle. we slided, skidded & fell in the mud & even got leech bites. we had to trust each other so much & that really bonded the team. we got to the campsite just when the was about to start & we put up our tents just in time. we made a bonfire & talked till past midnight. i was trying to sleep outside the tent & i can't sleep. it's really cold & too many mosqitoes causes too much itch. then lastly was the cultural exchange programme & campfire night. we took speed boat to pangkor island & shopped there. i dknw how but i got high during the bbq night so i pulled bernetta & carolyn around and make them groove to the music. haha. at the end of the night, jillian & i got too emo when we sang auld lang syne, we cried.

anyway, my watch changed the lyrics of the songs & dedicated it to nizam & lydia as our performing item -

you treat us like leaders
you gave us hints as clues
you shone the light of love on us
you gave us answers we don't trust
you opened doors that close
in a land that anything bites
but we'll still love you like was always do

thank God we found you
we would've been lost without you
out every fear was washed away
when you came by & showed your face
you brought the laughters
completed the journey
we're overwhelmed by gratitude
never ever will we forget your love

i enjoyed the trip to the fullest. two words; satisfactory, excellent. every single bit of it, i love it. to think that i actually dreaded going before i even went. now i would have regretted my life if i missed out on this wonderful camp. it's so sad we all gotta leave; especially coming back to singapore. i made many new & good friends. goodbye is always the hardest to say & i hate it cause i can't keep my emotions from spilling so i cried. sentimental attatchments always keeps me grounded & it's always the case when i can't let go. but i'm sure that all the friendships built over in the last ten days are not gonna end just there. who knows, it might last us ten years or a lifetime.

now i appreciate everything i have so much more. i've grown from being an uncontented girl, to a happy & satisfied girl. i've got everything i need to have, even more. & i've God, so what more do i really need, seriously. i give all thanks to God for this putting me through this camp, giving me wonderful instructor, course assistant, watch members & of course listening to my prayers in times of fear. God is so amazing. i will be still & know you're God.

back in singapore & now i need to do shopping. i need new shoes & clothes. by the way, if any of you come to singapore to shop, give me a notice or a ring. i'll bring you around. lets hit the malls!

longest yard

this is my last entry before i leave for eleven days in lumut tomorrow morning. & now i know i'm so gonna miss my comfy bed, computer, the new huge plasma tv & stereo speakers which i blast my music & the everbest people around. well, at least my favourite girls (always in my heart) would be with me on this trip. thank God.

anyway, my heartfelts...

to people back here, take care & we'll all be back.

to people i've taken for granted, thanks for always standing by & i'm sorry i never seem to appreciate you but i do, really.

to november, thanks for this holidays.

to God, thank You for Your mercy, grace & love. Father, You're King over the storm. i stand in awe of You.

satisfied with this.

special team

i wanna make you feel beautiful

hockey workshop in school today. it's really fun, interesting & highly entertaining. especially the first part where was introduce ourselves to mrs quek-tan. she seem really nice. yknw what? she said that she's a combination of miss quek & mr tan. haha cause before she got married, she was miss quek. then she married a mr tan so she became mrs quek-tan. interesting. anyway, i'll try my best to remember & name everyone but sorry if i missed you out okay? there's too many to remember.

NICE nicolette, MERRY marrisa, CRAZY charisa, JOYFUL jillian, BEAUTIFUL bernetta, XTRAORDINARY xinni, MAD madeline, BRIGHT brenda, PASSIONATE priscilla, CHEERFUL carolyn, HAPPY hitomi, SENSIBLE sushmita, DETERMINED dora, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY hanwei, FRIENDLY ferlissa, TALKATIVE tay weizhen, SUPERSTIOUS shihui, YOUNG yingying, JOVIAL jeniffer, CRANKY charmaine, NONSENSICAL nicole, JOYOUS jeslyn, OBEDIENT ona, VERY HARDWORKING vanessa, KIND kimberly, MUMBLING melanie, EXCITED elizabeth, CLUMSY christabel, ROUGH rouqi (kim tan), WIERD wenli, PLEASANT priya, LANKY lyn li, CARING chiang yinghui, LUCKY lorraine & ROWDY rahmuna. I LOVE JENIFFER THE MOST. SHE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEEE.

haha omgosh i think it's so funny, don't you think so? we have wierd but unique people in the team. & i just found out today that kimberly's chinese name is rou qi. haha that sounds so soft, gentle & sweet. so unlike her. haha.

then we did some vision & goal setting for the team. we wanna be the best, not the second best. the sec3s came out with triple G' -
GO GOLD GOAL. GO!
now the word gold will run in our blood till we win the championships next year.

after the workshop, queensway with my favourite girls & then back home. i'm gonna sleep now then pack for lumut. one more day & it's the eleven days lumut trip. briefing in school tomorrow in miss emily's classroom.

rhapsody

training yesterday was simply, one word; awesome. haha for the first time in sometime, i don't feel tired at all during training. maybe because hit, jill & i ate alot before training at black canyon & island creamery. haha hit & i ate two ice-creams. & that certainly satisfied my cravings. then after training we went to serene center again & pigged out. ate at macdonalds & hit ate another ice-cream so that makes it three ice-creams in a day. okay now that reminds me of how sinful yesterday was. have you heard of hip-hop ice-cream? hit says that it can dance. haha such a sexy ice-cream. i wanna try it.

carolyn, i can't stand the golddigger song anymore. stop saying it's nice & funny.

Lord, You're King above the storm.
i stand in awe of You.

better days

sometimes i really think that life is just plain miserable. like nothing, nothing ever goes right. seriously almost nothing. & everytime trying to fix things just ends up getting more destructive than help. sometimes i would rather not know what's going wrong. then at least i wouldn't end up all miserable trying to find a way to fix things. maybe it's a wrong approach. but it can't be wrong everytime, can it? something really wrong is happening to my life.

why isn't christian life smooth sailing, happy & easy? wouldn't it be great to live each day with a smile throughout the day, without having to worry or have bad thoughts crossing your mind at all? just staying happy, giving thanks & praising God. think of it. even if that could happen for just a day, that day will be a perfect day. have you ever wondered why life as a christian is just like people with any other religions? we still have problems, worries, still meet with trails. this is the time when God wants us to draw nearer to Him. like i always say; the ending of man is just the beginning of God. that's simply because life on earth is a preperation for eternity. of cause God loves us & he would less like to see us suffer. but remember that everyone, everything; good or bad that comes into our lives, God has His amazing & beautiful purpose for it. nothing happens without a reason in Him.

whenever you feel that the world is crumbling & falling down on you, pray. God is just a prayer away. God's love is the only thing that can free us from all the weight of the world. that is what is & will keep me going until God grants me a grace & mercy to solve my problems. cast your burdens unto Jesus, He cares for you.

i'll take my chance

when i feel like i'm lost
something tells me
you're here with me

just got home from club training. we did our beep test today & i didn't do too well. haven't been training much till this two weeks & stamina is down. okay i have to & i will improve by the end of november. anyway, training was alright. it was kinda strenuous. i need to improve. alot, damn alot.

open house today was quite quiet & boring. we didn't have much students visiting us so we kinda entertained ourselves. at first we were watching all our past trainings & games videos. we all had funny hairstyles. those were the days when mr balbir was still with us. i felt so sad when i saw him on the video. the memories just flies back. i still miss him alot alot. but i'm thankful to God that at least someone as special & precious as mr balbir was in my life for two superfantastic years. those were the good old days. i really really miss him. frigging alot alot alot. too deep to feel.

okay then after the videos, we played some crap game. haha we were kicking the floorball & trying to score into the chairs. in the end, the game ended up more like a cat-fight. we were pulling, pushing, kicking, tickling, each others' everywhere. haha damn funny & it's duper fun. haha it is still making me laugh.

anyway, the first dose of malaria pills for lumut trip starts tomorrow. everyone please remember to eat. i bought the elle bag that i wanted for quite some time.

have you ever wondered why is growing up so tough & unfair? i'm trying very very hard to learn but this world is just too superficial. i'm really sick of all the unfair & wrong judgements about things & me. i really am. yknw why growing up is tough & unfair? go figure, then tell me.

i'm gonna watch pride now. maybe it'll trigger some happiness.
shopping with the usual chicks tomorrow.

long forgotten

unwell - matchbox 20

all day staring at the ceiling
making friends with
shadows on my wall
all night i'm hearing voices
that i should get some sleep
because tomorrow
might be good for something

hold on i feel like
i'm headed for a breakdown
& i don't know why

i'm not crazy
i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay awhile
& maybe then you'll see
a different side of me
i'm not crazy
i'm just a little impaired
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough
you're gonna think of me
& how i used to be

see me talking to myself in public
& dodging glances on the train
i know, i know
they've been talking about me
i can hear their whisper
& it makes me think there
must be something wrong with me

out of all the hours thinking
somehow i've lost my mind

talking in my sleep
pretty soon they'll come to get me
they'll be taking me away

this song kept ringing through my head & it never goes. i'm posting it & i hope it'll stay here & stop bugging me longer. enjoy.

-

tomorrow's open house. well hope that everything would go goody. i'm so tired now.

rich & superficial

DO YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING
ALL THE TIME?
maybe you're suffering from depression.

for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm seriously suffering from depression. seriously.

i'm at hitomi's house now & we just watched life of luxury. oh golly goodness. the people featured are duper filthy friggin rich. mmhm imagine having that much cash to spend thirty thousand dollars for your precious dog's birthday bash? the dog gets to wear diamonds which are tens of thousand dollars & get a tea party with hot ladies dancing for him. women dancing for a dog. haha please imagine that. carolyn says that she would rather be that dog. the show's quite cool & really entertaining & highly amusing. it's wierd how rich people spends away their bling bling that never seems to dry. but it's okay. i never imagine being so duper rich. maybe if i had one percent of their bling bling, i would be the happiest & most contented girl on earth (one percent of their bling bling is a damn lot, excuse me).

back to yesterday. class chalet was okay. the bungalow looked really really scary & freaky like a real haunted house. haha. left early & went to town & many things happened after that. i spent forty bucks on cabbing. ohwell. but it was rather fun cause i haven't been out late for a long time.

weiting - hey. please don't feel bad about the chalet okay? we really appreciate your efforts. sorry for leaving early. i swear we felt damn bad & guilty after we left. hope you girls'd an exciting & thrilling night stay. you're a great class chairperson & i mean it. see you soon!

that's about all for now. we're waiting for jill, mar & mad to come over & swim.

temptation

i love you endlessly
but when it comes to me
you don't even notice me

hate it or love it, the holidays have officially started. that's not a very bad thing though. i can get some time off busy school days & for the least, catch more beauty sleep. this holiday schedule is duper packed. i have the obs lumut trip & the malaysia hockey tour. & about four trainings per week, plus the occasional club trainings, it would amount to five or more everyweek. & did i mention that most trainings are three hours. i have some extra classes in school to prepare for o'levels next year. this holiday would be busy busy busy but i think fun fun fun too.

a long holiday means that there would be many temptations. too much time & space for temptations. well, i know it before it even comes. temptations leads to sin. church sermon today was on how Jesus overcome the three temptations and how we could use Jesus as an example to resist & overcome temptations. it's to have God's words deeply engraved in our hearts & not to feed the temptation. it sounds easy, but it's not easy at all. the holidays just started & there're already so many temptations. i'm afriad, i really am. i hate being put to such tests. & i know it's cause my faith is really weak & i feel like i'm in such a dilemma. God, help me.

tomorrow's halloween party. eh weiting i feel that there's still so many things undone. the drinks thing is not confirmed. you need to tell me if i'm supposed to get them early. & you please hitch me a call if you read this tonight. call me anytime tonight. i'm waiting.

early HAPPY HALLOWEEN, people.
much fun & love to you sweethearts.

the beginning

mmhm almost everyone online is busy & not talking to me. tell me why? haha. if you come across reading this & is online now (i believe you are), yknw what to do huh. sorry for being childish & whiney. but that's what i feel like doing now.

i wanna be standing
at the beginning with you

today's the last day of school. i'm happy cause school's out for two months. but i'm somewhat really sad cause the seniors are graduating. hitomi said that i'm wrong to say three cheers cause today's the last day of school. mmhm i'm taking back those words now. it's the seniors' last day in school today & we would never see those beautiful faces in school next year. nothing triggers my happiness & laughter as much as this team does. seriously, b'division was a great experience & a huge lesson learnt. it was one hell of a great motivation for me, not only to excel in hockey, but in life. you girls have taught me so much through bittersweet experiences. i feel so privilleged all of a sudden to be part of this roller-coaster journey. i don't think i would be able to find another group of such special people or rather, angels. goodbye's always the hardest words to say, but i don't think all the friendships would come to a stop, cause this isn't how we're all gonna end. all endings are just beginnings. & i wish for the best for all the seniors in the beginning of their journey in life. you've done it in b'div & you can also do it in o'levels & in life, even better. we all are a bunch of ordinary kids with extraodinary powers & will be shining no matter where we go. the bdiv story; bruce, remember? back to the usual; the sky's the limit, we'll chase our dream. go & show the world how you all could really fly. i would be be dreaming of all the sweetest things that ever happened & i'll be dreaming of your laughters. greatest love & blessings :)

here by me

time will tell if i'm gonna make it
there's no way to be sure about
but i'll take my chance

three cheers cause tomorrow's the last day of school please. it's amazing how time flies. i always say this because it's so true, isn't it? one year passes just like another. already three years in school & it would be o'levels next year. next year would be better cause i already told ms goh i'm dropping art. the workload is just too much. i think i'd rather concentrate on both maths cause i really suck at it. results are not really ideal & up to mark but i'm quite satisfied with some subjects. my overalls are affected by maths. someone great in maths, teach me please.

training schedule for the holidays are up. there are so many trainings & things to do & i would be so busy. very soon, the holidays would be over & school would start for year 2006 & soon it would be o'levels. it's amazing how time flies, remember?

i think i'm going to do something really crazy this week.
go figure.

notice me

it felt as though we were given a spring test today. mr leslie gave the sports ambassadors twenty minutes to plan an interclass game for the sec2s cause twenty six teachers were out of school. it was almost immediate & we were totally unprepared. but i can say that everything went on quite well, for a last minute thing & since we were so anxious & unprepared. we used the old fixtures & game settings we used for the sec3 interclass last week. at least we've done it before & could us it as a backup plan. not too bad for the start.

training was fun. there wasn't any stickwork cause it was raining. we did some circuit training & played the tennis & rubgy game. i like the rugby game very much. lyn li is a good catcher. she never misses any balls we throw at her. but she's mean!

open house is next friday & we got to get the decorations & souvenirs in place. we're gonna paint a banner & it'll be fun.

those going to lumut, please bring your passport & two 1.5 litres bottles. we have physical trainings on wednesday & friday & i think we would be carrying the bottles of water & running.

halloween party's confirmed & i think it's only for my class. mmhm. meanwhile, please think of some creepy party ideas so we could use them impromptu. i've lots of wierd ideas already. haha. stay tuned for more hot news.

it's so sad the seniors are leaving this year. time really flies. they wouldn't come back no more. i'll miss those crazy nuts terribly, won't you? sigh. study doubly hard, seniors.

jillian & carolyn, get well soon! :)

infatuated

went to ps & watched flightplan with the usual girls. i mean, carolyn, jillian, madeline & marissa, but without hitomi today cause she'd cip. so you'll know who are my usual girls next time round eh. it's quite a cool show with an unpredictable storyline. go watch it!

halloween party is not confirmed. weiting just text me & said the bungalow would be hundred & thirty plus plus. well, let's pray that it'll go well this time.

carolyn - hey. hope the wierd growth in your right eye isn't serious & it'll be okay soon & nothing to worry about it. get well soon :)

growing up is kinda topsy turvy. moods & feelings changes all the time. at least it's normal, isn't it?

there's this boy that is everything i ever dreamt of. close to perfect & almost with no defects. the first look was enough to kill & make me fall in love with him. i dream about you all the time. pretty boy, where're you?

a gift of love
author unknown

"can i see my baby?" the happy new mother asked.

when the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. the doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. the baby had been born without ears.

time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. it was only his appearance that was marred. when he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks.

he blurted out the tragedy. "a boy, a big boy ... called me a freak."

he grew up, handsome for his misfortune. a favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. he developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. "but you might mingle with other young people," his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart.

the boy's father had a session with the family physician. could nothing be done? "i believe i could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured," the doctor decided.

whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. two years went by.

then, "you are going to the hospital, son. mother and i have someone who will donate the ears you need. but it's a secret," said the father.

the operation was a brilliant success, & a new person emerged. his talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. later he married and entered the diplomatic service.

"but i must know!" he urged his father, "who gave so much for me? i could never do enough for him."

"i do not believe you could," said the father, "but the agreement was that you are not to know ... not yet."

the years kept their profound secret, but the day did come ... one of the darkest days that a son must endure. he stood with his father over his mother's casket.

slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal that the mother had no outer ears.

"mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently, "& nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they?"

real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.

i dknw if this story is really true, but it made me cry. maybe i'm really a hopeless romantic. a mother's love can be so great & what more about God's wonderous love? uncomprehenable.

God's love; hung crucified on the cross, died sinless, rose again, all for love.

trigger happy

today was a long day out. met jill early in the morning to accompany to make her ic which was almost two months overdued. guess what? she misplaced her birthcert so she only had her passport. the woman at the reception was reluctant to let her make her ic cause she insisted that she must have her birthcert. so we went to this interview room and explained to this nice guy. it's quite interesting. in the end he agreed to let jill make her ic. which is so damn lucky if not we would have made a wasted trip. the cool thing is that we bent the law but we didn't break it. haha.

then off to cityhall & i had breakfast at cedele bakery depot. i love the red potato russet salad. hit, mar & mad didn't go out with us in the end cause they either had something on, or not feeling too well. so it was only bernetta, carolyn plus jill & me who went to look for new sticks. we went to penisular but the sales woman there was quite rude & the price she gave for the sticks wasn't really satisfactory so we went off to little india, hindoo road to look for the shop. but but but we couldn't find the shop & we called so many people but no one answered our calls. such a bad day. so we walked around & were fooling around as usual. we went to some place for lunch. the food prices was seriously outrageous. carolyn didn't even know what she was eating. there was this friendly man who came for a holiday here, from india. he talked to us quite abit and told us more about the food we were eating. interesting.

in the end, we couldn't find any shop in little india & my friend told me to check out selegie. so we went to look for selegie mall but there was no such place cause the building was demolished. jill was wearing this pair of pump shoes & her feet were hurting so much she forced carolyn to change shoes with her. then she looked damn funny & then she changed carolyn's sandles she was wearing with bernetta. so ultimately, carolyn suffered the most cause she can't even fit into jill's pumps. haha. we walked from parkmall to ps, to paradiz center, to peace center, to selegie center to i dknw where & found out that selegie mall was demolished. everyone wanted to kill me but it wasn't my fault. haha so we ending up walking aimlessly everywhere for five hours.

in the end we gave up cause jill had to go for tuition. but it was really a fun day. at least we found out that there were many nice shops at wierd places which we won't really go. there's so much more than just town. bernetta & i are street smart but carolyn & jillian is definately not. out again soon okay? & this time with more people.

anyway, weiting promise me that we're gonna have a halloween partyyyyy. i hope we can make a mass party so more people can come. wait for more news.

ball duty tomorrow.

consuming fire

all results back, and they're really horrid. i passed every subject except for maths and accounts. i'm quite disappointed with the results, expecially for chemistry cause i really expected more after studying really hard this time. maybe i should've started serious revision earlier. but at least i got all my mole calculation questions right. i failed my maths and the result is shameless.

anyway, holland shopping with bernetta, carolyn, hitomi, jillian and madeline after school. i bought some accessories and i'm happy. i saw a few really nice dresses & i wanna buy them. should've just bought one just now. hit and ber left early and then we went to party with us. carol, jill and mad seem to be too amused and freaked out by the stuffs in the shop. the halloween costumes and stuffs are pretty but i doubt we're gonna have a halloween party, are we?

the conversation with caroyln and jeniffer is really funny & stupid. they're talking about random stuffs like hammy (jen's hamster), which carolyn is crazy about cause she think it's damn cute. & also talking being bored plus high cause the exams are over. they're nuts i tell you.

i'm tired and sleepy.
out with the girls tomorrow.

confessionals

interclass today was duper. umpiring was so fun. there were few mistakes made but most importantly, i think everyone had fun. at least there was climax after everyone warmed up & especially at the end during the finals. eh i'm so so so damn proud of 3b, seriously. i think everyone played really well & class spirit was really great. we almost won the floorball finals. okay almost. i love all my girls :)

checking of papers was okay. i'm quite satisfied with my results, especially for pure lit & maybe disappointed for english. sixty is not exactly bad, but it's quite disappointing. especially my essay. i think i should never write expository or argumentative essays anymore. i've always written them but this essay proved to be disasterous. i failed accounts but i'm happy okay. i got a forty+++ borderline fail which was good cause i expected a below twenty grade. maths, chemistry, bio and chinese papers tomorrow. yup.

training was goody. i especially like the soccer game. we were all laughing like crazy cause it certainly was difficult to move. we were playing in some wierd position. like almost crawling backwards and trying to play soccer. yes crawling backwards. yknw how to do that? go figure.

i want a night out with my girls.
& this is random.

one desire

meeting with ms martens today. we all did goal and vision setting for next year. it was practical discussion. quite a fruitful session and good to know that everyone's heading towards the same direction, the same vision and goal. seems like everyone important are leaving us. first is mr balbir, and now ms martens and possibly mr danker cause he recieved a scholarship to aussie to study sports psychology? it was announced on the shf web. maybe. sigh. these are the hard facts of life that seem to happen to us quite often.

carolyn. so glad that you're happy now. your breakdown today was so scary. haha. don't worry about telling me anything. i'd always understand & i'm prepared to listen for life. and pray! God is gracious and He listens anytime. prayer is the solution to all problems. build your faith girl. see you tomorrow!

jillian! we must go out soon one night and chill with the rest okay? we got so much to talk about. wasn't today fun? i bet you enjoyed every bit of it. you & mad made yourselves too at home. remember madaliene muffins? & lying all over the floor and hug all my pillows and huge toys. haha. hope you're alright now. i'll be here whenever you need me, i promise! see you tomorrow at 7am in school. do not be late. nights! :)

interclass for sec3s tomorrow. i think i'll be playing and umpiring. the ytsa personnels are coming to grade us again. hope everyone'll have fun. then it'll be checking of papers. i'm so screwed for maths and accounts.

i'm so tired, good night!

mercy mercy
goodness & kindness
love & forgiveness

fingers are itchy so i wanna blog. i'm most probably gonna drop art. no actually i mean i am gonna drop art. i can't stand it no more. although i've much passion for art, the workload is too much plus it's the o'levels next year. even moka and gehui can't take it. i really admire the rest of the express girls who won't give up on art even though time is so tight. & i'd never agree with anything more than this; time really fly. it's already the third year in stc and we're so soon to go.

i'm dammit addicted to fly away - the longest yard by nelly.

if i could fly away, ooo & i wouldn't come back no more. i'd turn around, just to see you for the last time. see now i know hey it won't be easy. i done fought in a battle & i done made it this far. i gotta few more feet, but it's still the longest yard

i'm having wierd thoughts. i'm feeling so bitter & duper worried for so many things.

God of wonders, only you can read & undrestand me. open up the heavy doors, guild my way & grant me peace. with you, your child would have no fear. you're all & everything i need in this life. it'd been mercy all the way.

when i stumble in the darkness
i will call Your name by night

exams are officially over, with the exception for art which is tomorrow. & i still have alot alot alot to complete. i'm still contemplating if it'll be the right choice to drop art. art is my passion, but the workload is almost too much to handle. i hate making the wrong decisions cause regreting is the most stupid thing i should be ever doing, after regretting so many times. i'm gonna pray about it.

unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain. so let's take time to wait upon the Lord.

it feels really good to be back in church and with the youth, especially. mmhm it's like this attraction that's starting to attract me back to church. i'd been busy and i hardly attend youth service for urm, three four months? & honestly speaking, i'd been more attracted to the world than to church & God. worldliness is a deadly sin. money is the root of all evils. but God is a forgiving God & he'll never forsake His children. spiritual milk is interesting & i wanna learn the drummm!

open up more doors of your life to God & you'll be so much blessed. God wants to bless you & i so much more.

sermon on sunday was duper. it was about five important keys. it made me realised how shallow a christian i am after many years of accepting christ and growing up in church. there's so much room for improvement. i'm opening up more doors in my life to God & there's many things i wanna talk to God about. i wanna be moreeee BLESSED.

in the end times of this sinful world, we should rely on God and constantly renew & build our faith. the ending of man is the beginning of God.

God of wonders beyond our galaxy
you are holy, so holy.

dizzy up the girl

& i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think
that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am

& you can't fight the tears
that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

i think i flucked my bio paper.
this is about the end.

joy luck

maybe after half the exams, now i can relate to joy luck club better. i'm praying for some joy & luck. this'd been a killer week and two more days to go. well, at least for me. chemistry paper yesterday was fairly okay. it wasn't easy or difficult but do-able. accounts wasn't very well done and maths today is a gone. lit was alright but the enemy of the people essay was difficult!

"you're insane with egotism!" - hovstad's justification of dr stockmann. do you agree? tell me about that.

tomorrow's maths1 and bio. friday would be the worst. history, chemistry & bio all crashed up tog.

joy & luck to everyone.

hit the spot

i think i might die of coughing one of these days. sigh. i've nothing to post actually. exams update: three papers down and that leaves me with five more to go. yesterday with sister charmaine leow nenghui was fun. haha.

anyway, carolyn, please call me if you ever read this.

keep up the work, girls.
lots of loveeeee.

love & fight

i'm dying. like really really dying. i'd such a horrible flu and sore throat i woke up in the middle of the night and started crying. i'm coughing so bad now. sigh. and so that explains why i'm not in school today.

i really do not like the exams.
biology and emaths are starting to make me fly.

can't wait can't wait can't wait for after the exams! anyway, heard from ms martens that it's confirmed that we'll going to penang this year. but the trip would also include malacca and KL. hurray. that makes me can't wait even more. but i'm not really looking forward to obs lumut.

as for now, mug hard
& God Bless all!

love beyond measure

the only reason why i look forward to mondays is because of pride. well, maybe it'd been the only thing that really make my day everyweek. twice everyweek. just so i might get trigger happy. but it's getting so sad and intense. i hate it when aki left halu. but most romance storylines are always like this. isn't it?

if everything could end with a happy ending, life would be beautiful.

ms martens is such a dear. she's giving us childrens' day present. heard that it's something about our bdiv story. such a sweet thing. okay so that makes us still kids, aren't we still! :)

can't wait for after the exams. then it'll be, train shop party fun laughter. stress would be out for at least awhile.

reality check: chinese paper tomorrow. hope everyone would do well.

hidden sorrows

study study study.
that's the sort of wonderful life of a teenager.

i've more or less stopped procrastinating and started on serious revision. i think i'm really quite far behind time, to have just started. but this year is better than the previous years. i've been more consistent throughout this year so there isn't as much pressure as the previous years. but that doesn't mean that i'm not stressed. in fact, i am very very stressed. especially for my maths. sigh.

oh maths oh maths, all my life, i'd longed to fall in love with you, know you deep and inside out, so that i could solved all the tangled mysteries inside of you. i'm trying but would you give me a better chance so i could be better?

right now, the only thing i want is sleep. i'm tired and i wanna sleep. if i'd a chocie, i would sleep forever. there's nothing much left for me to stay. maybe?

anyway, all the way girls. three more weeks.

silent hurt

& you won't get to
see the tears i cry

english paper 2 was set to kill. i felt that it was unexpected to have been given a pretty damn tough paper. well, it's over and since i've done my best, i couldn't be least bothered.

the news reported that a little girl in india killed herself cause she wasn't given pocket money(four cents) for lunch. i think it's so sad and i feel for her. four cents and she took her life? sigh. so many parts of this world are still living in poverty. the rich are getting richer, the poor getting poorer. what's becoming of this world?

nothing made me smile or even triggered me to do so today. not even pride.

pride was sad. mmhm actually i dknw if it's really sad but i just felt that it was sad. was it sad or did i bring in my sadness into it?

i feel horrible and miserable. it's more than bittersweet misery. it's worst and i hate it.

enough said. i'm really tired. i'm off.

beautifully perfect/
perfectly beautiful

bbq at shaleen's house was great. her house was pretty damn amazing. it is horribly huge. it's really like a palace, like some sort of a fairytale land. beautiful. she has a lift inside her house. tell me how kickass is that. basically there's everything you need to find comfort, in her house. oh her room is so big and nice. the design is so zen. haha. we spent most of the time playing pool. no wait. and we took lots and lots of photos. the photos are funny cause we tried to amuse ourselves. there's the yellow jailbird! haha. we felt like some miniature dolls inside her big house. and now bernetta and all of us are waiting to apply to be a permanent resident there.

and now, we've this dream/aspiration. if all of us don't get married next time, we'll all contribute half a million or maybe a million each. so if there's eight of us, we'll build a eight million house. then we can all stay together. hitomi suggested that we build a hockey pitch so we could play everyday. she said she dreamt of it before. haha. how true.

yknw what's the difference between beautifully perfect and perfectly beautiful? go figure.

that's about all. english paper tomorrow. sigh. all the best girls.

let me romance with you

it'd yet been another hectic week. it's finally friday. i always look forward to the weekends, don't you? school was a major rush. we're all rushing to complete the syllabus and hopefully be in time for the eoy. the teachers say that the papers are set so even if we can't finish the syllabus, they won't reset the papers. sigh.

bbq at shaleen's house tmrw. yay. and i know madeline can't wait cause she keeps telling me that for this whole week :D

madeline, marissa, jillian & hitomi, if you read this, send me a text okay? we've yet to confirm about tmrw. are we going shopping for the lumut stuffs or meet at coronation/king albert park? or what? sushmita is asking me already. text or ring me okay. i'm waiting. haha.

i can't wait for monday & tuesday. not because i can't wait for school, but there's PRIDE. these two following episodes will be very very sad cause the girl's dumb boyfriend she waited for two years came back and she left halu, when he was finally really in love with her. dammit. it's so sad. i think i'll cry. for sure.

english paper on monday. sigh.

drop me a love tag.
love love love : D

born from pain

i'm home cause i'm down with food poisoning. sigh. i hardly even eat and so how could i get food poisoning? anyway, last weekends and monday was no much better then the previous week. division 1 lost to police, 2-3. church on sunday was good. i enjoyed the inspiring sermon about evangelism; food of labour. school yesterday was boring. trigonometry is over and we're doing circles now. oh sky. i'm still stuck with the dumb trigo. and i hate it. no wait, i'll learn it.

mental skills:
using my brain to become the best student i can be.

eoy promos are in two/three weeks time. chemistry and biology practical tomorrow. chinese orals on friday. english paper next monday. i'm damn stressed.

but on a lighter note, daddy'll be back from shanghai tonight. so i won't have to go to school and travel around myself. i'll have the car.

anyway, there's party at shaleen's house for the b'division this friday/saturday.

take the chance

first week of school is uber tiring. trainings were good and friendly with temasek poly was alright but not really up to high expectations i think. all of us could have played better, so much better. the weather is crazy hot and i fell sick with sore throat and tummy ache. my stomach'd been churning since yesterday night. i feel so sick now.

division 1 finals tmrw. 6pm, delta. be down & support!

pride & pain

i'm tired after two long days in school. school term four started out okay. everything's in a rush now. eoy promos are in three weeks time. i feel the urgency to start serious revision, but i somehow still lack the drive to do so seriously. i know i keep procrastinating and that's a terrible thing.

the good thing about today is that i managed to rush home, shower and am just in time for the show, pride. it's a really nice show and the guy is so damn hot. i bet jillian is so jealous cause by the time she gets home, it'll be over. but i've to wait for a week more to watch it. sigh.

friendly at temasek poly
tomorrow, 4.30pm.
club training, ccab, 7-8pm.

tired, & off to study now.
bye, sweethearts.

addicted to that rush

the division 1 team beat combines school in golden goal. the final score was 2-1. and so the finals is next week! mental skills lesson today was good. i learnt some new things. hopefully i'll be able to convert them into what i do as time goes. i'm learning. visualise.

ms martens gave us a new aim/motto/target for next year's bdiv, which is not easy, but with the mental skills, i think we can make it.
- minds of steel
& legs to die for

our dream, here we come.
we'll chase our dream!

superfantastic

just got home from the hockey dinner. went to marche for dinner. didn't really eat much. stupid cramps made me quite full to start the day with. was craving for rum but obviously they do not have rum at marche so i'd breezer instead. didn't help satisfy my craving cause the alcohol content was only five pathetic percent. i want blue label now!

then after eating, we went to esplanade to celebrate xinni's birthday. we baked two chocolate cakes for her. how sweet right. we'd such a difficult time trying to light the candles cause the breeze was quite strong. but we did it anyway. mmhm guessed xinni was touched. then we discussed about lots of issues and i found out that actually most of us share the same opinion to things. shall keep them till due date. it was really a good night and i know that my girls & i are all growing up.

went for checkup and i can go to obs malaysia lumut. hurray! sigh. eoys is starting soon. i have less than a month, and i've eleven days left for my art, of which i've to produce sixteen drawing sheets. i'm going to drop art at the end of this year. right now, i only worry for my maths. sigh.

my kinda woman

i am horridly red. burnt. well, the sun almost killed yesterday. training was great but i prefer pitch trainings. anyway, we especially love the dog & bone game. carolyn, bernetta, dora, jillian, madeline, marissa, xinni and i teamed up and bullied the juniors. then they lost la. haha. but it's so sad hitomi has to go to another group. but we all had fun. there were no sprints after training yesterday. so glad.

sec3 hockey ladies, dinner tonight!
venue: suntec marche
(please be at cityhall at 6pm).
time: urm, as late as we want huh. EVERYONE PLEASE COME, PLEASE! :D

i feel so urgfhhh, the red. sigh.
off to shenton to my mum's office.
period.

chance

yesterday's training was good. i think i'm improving, a little bit here and there. and for that little step, i'm happy. at least there was no sun to make it worst. our faces are still red with heat. mmhm maybe sunkissed? haha. anyway, carolyn, jillian and i watched the perfect catch. it's a okay show. there wasn't much of a climax, but the guy was really sweet. carolyn think so too okay.

training today is in school, 1-3pm. i bet we'll get horridly red.

the sec3 hockey ladies are having a dinner tmrw. i hope everyone knows about it already. the time and venue is not confirmed yet, but i think we'll do so after training today. please have some suggestions in mind!

the best

HAPPY BELATED
BIRTHDAY, XINNI!
you'd been a great motivation & encouragement to the team. train hard for bdiv next year. i know you'll shine. love much, dearest captain :D

training was uber tiring, but good. one word; satisfactory. and the only few reasons why we all pushed on was for bdiv next year. xinni kept on encouraging us with next year. and it was good. it certainly helped alot, since we were all so tired. it reminded me of mr balbir's trainings, the johor trips. sigh. how we miss. three rounds for warm-up, two rounds round the pitch of dribbling drills, and five rounds of sprinting & the two hour training and short game, was no joke. the new formation gave us some problems, but i think we'll work it out well in quick time to come. plus it was under the torture of the cruel scorching 2-4pm sun. and so i'm horribly sunburnt. my skin's starting to peel. well, i guess we're starting to have serious trainings for next year's bdiv. if we continue to fight all the wrongs, i think we'll do good. but above all these tiredness, i give everyone two thumbs up. satisfactory.

triggered sadness

& so it's the september hols again. but it's sad cause this hol will be pretty damn short. well, it just started so i shall only rant about how short it is until it ends la okay.

anyway, i watched the channel news asia documentry on krakatoa. it's about volcano eruption and tsunami that happened some 122 years ago. and it's scary the way the volcano erupts, causing the tides to come and washes everything away. okay. & every single time i switched on to channel news asia, they'll be showing something about korea. whether it's a commercial or news, it'll somewhat be something that's got to do with korea. & till now, it still triggers my sadness when i see the word korea.

sigh. how i miss those boys. people say, it's a small world. if the world is small, it makes asia even smaller. & so if asia is small, korea is even smaller. and lets say they all live in seoul. so even if we're in seoul now, do you think we'll be able to meet any of them along the streets? haha i say, no. cause even when singapore is so small, it's difficult to see someone whom you wanna see, but easy to see someone you'd hate to see. even at a small shopping mall, you'll see more people you dislike than the one you would like to see. so does that make singapore small? no. korea/seoul small? no. the world small? definately not. it was never a small world. it could be small, unless of course, with fate. well, we'll see where destiny brings us with those korea boys la. but as far as my thoughts are concerned, there's not much hope in meeting them any soon, what more in this life?

ohwell. i dknw what i've been typing and i bet there's so much typo errors up there but i couldn't care less. & if you understand what i've been trying to prove, i think you're good. so the conclusion is, cherish those people around you. you'd never know when they'll just leave. and regretting is the worst and last thing that should ever happen.

happy wondering

we live in a sterotypical world. everyone seems to be living up to each other's expectations. well, sometimes it's true, but sometimes it's not. what you see from the outside really isn't what it really is. people and things are usually deeper than it seem.

and to the annoymous on nikki's blog who said that i suck, hello. if you could tell me in my face how much i suck, i think you're a great person. but if you don't have the guts to do so, i'm sorry you're a loser. i've never been acting great or big. i never thought i had the damn traits of being a dumb bimbo and has never aspired to be one. seriously, i'd rather become a nerd. i am what i am, so if it appeals to you that i wanna be a dumb bimbo, i'm sorry but you're so wrong and overrated. you need to wash your eyes with bleach. if it doesn't help, i think digging them out would be a better choice.

KOREA

today was the last day for the 4 nations tournament. i think singapore played hard against malaysia. the korea guys are so very cute and hot please omgosh. they're all so fun people. even though we don't really understand their language and they don't really understand us, we still managed to make each other laugh alot. haha. i especially like 11, 15, 9, 7, & 6. the captain is so funny. he kept on asking us to go home. number 9 is so shy, but he's so cute with his rosy cheeks. number 11 is not a 'dai zi' la bubu. i like his charm alot, alot. fer claims that number 15 is her boyfriend and hitomi claims that he's her brother. haha so nonsense. if it is so, i want eleven to be my boyfriend. how we wish. haha.

i feel so sad now cause i think i'll never be able to see them anymore, unless we have that much fate to meet when i visit korea one day or when they visit singapore next time? or maybe they'll come again next year. like hitomi said; all good things must come to an end and i especially hate it to be like this, but this is life. i like them all very very very much and they'll be greatly missed. they'll stay in my memories at least for a long long time. worst thing is, there's school tmrw. sigh.

hotstuffs

today was games day for the sec1s and the ytsa came together to plan and facilitate the games. it was quite fun. especailly floorball. we made the sec1s play with an orange instead of a ball. they obviously squashed all of them. and it's so damn funny. trust me to come out with such wierdbrilliant ideas. everything was good, except that the sec1s are so ill-disiplined. no offence, but they're so horrible and so rude. sigh.

then we left for the 4 nations tournament. we waited more than half and hour for a cab, cause all the other stupid drivers don't wanna stop. we wanted to leave early to catch the korea game, but we didn't. and i thought the korea guys left already, but they were still around okay. and we did some crazy stuffs. haha we went to them and asked for their autographs and took photos of them. it was like damn cliche. i'd never gone to ask for picture of a guy myself okay. and i did so today. when i went near them, wah. all of them are actually so cute please. jillian and i almost died there. awww, number eleven was extremely popular. they're so damn cute&hot, they could kill. they'll be my hottest eyecandies! :D

heartstrings

i dknw why i'm posting almost everyday. looks like i've got lots to say recently. actually i've nothing much for today. played rugby again. it was damn fun as usual, but when miss quek introduced the rules, the game seem so difficult to play. but well, it's always like this when you're new to something.

alright. now to today's hot topic. and so, today was the first day of the 4 nations tournament. and in the opening game, malaysia played with korea. and as usual, the korea guys were damn cute la (i once thought it was only sterotyping, but i found out that most sterotyping are quite true). especially number 11! wah, i tell you, he's so damn cute. and once you look at him, it's addictive. we took loads of photos of him and i think carolyn's pissed. haha but who cares la, he's so cute and he has mesmerising smile and captivating eyes. awwww SO CUTE :D

you've no courage and determination to give yourself a chance to do something you CAN do. you're underrated. COME ON CHARISA.

pain stained

parents always think they're right. yes, i agree that most of the time they're right. but when it comes to understanding their child's feelings, they seem so numb and ignorant. they could only feel how angry at that moment and in the end apologise. but if sorry could save everything, then the world would be a much much much happier and wonderful place to live in. what you inflicted was souldeep. you almost killed my inside. do you know how it hurts? would you understand? obviously you don't. i detest you. go away monsters.

school was okay. results flatuated like crazy. improved in some and de-proved in the others. sigh. this is getting serious. i better start bucking up and i'm starting to revise for my eoys. i need to do well for eoys desperately, if not, i'll have a tough time getting through in sec4 next year. do well. yes desperately.

we were supposed to introduce hockey to the japan girls after school, but they weren't interested. and ms martens told us that they'd enough runners so we won't have any duty anymore. so we ended up taking nonsense photos with the seniors. and i will miss the seniors so after the graduate this year! study doubly hard and all the best for prelims and O's, seniors!

i most probably can't go to obs lumut anymore cause i'll have to hand in the form two weeks late because of my ankle checkup and i'm quite sure leslie wouldn't want the whole thing to be delayed cause of me. and for the goodwill of my ankle, excuse me. i will sacrificed the lumut trip. but at least i'll still get to train when they're away.

enough of the sad and dis-heartening stuffs. now something happier. i bought my hockey jersey already and i got the number i wanted. eight. actually i wanted nine, but i gave it up for hanwei. i tell you ah, the new jersey and especially the skirt is urm, sexy? haha even ms martens can't stop saying it's sexy. sexy.

anyway, yesterday, today and this whole week is certainly not my week. i feel the world crashing down on me. Lord, where're you? i need your grace.

sweet nothings

the ij japan girls are here for exchange programme again. haha michelle's hosting one of them and i think it's so fun. one of them is so nice okay. i was talking to her in class, and after awhile, she folded a crane on some pretty flower paper for me. then we exchanged our particulars. so sweet right. they're all so damn cute. they look so innocent and demure. if only i was like them ah. haha now don't laugh. ohwell.

went to coronation plaza after school with jillian, hitomi and madeline, then after to jillian's granny's house. jill and hit took photos for the obs lumut thing. and as usual, we ate and talk nonsense after that. it seems that we're talking so much more nonsense this year, compared to last year. wait. sometimes we do talk great sense and deep stuffs okay. which i bet none of you can believe or comprehen. haha. oh and did i mention, after we left, i saw omgosh cute hot guy and victoria too. haha yes he was damn cute. ask hitomi okay. madeline says she didn't really see his face. he can be my new eyecandy. wait, i say again ah. eyecandy, HOT CUTE GUY. omgosh :D

the four nations tournament will be coming up soon. starting from this thursday to this sunday. and i think the sec3s are going to be the runners. but i think being a ballgirl is nicer. haha but whatever it is, i know it'll be so fun.

okay now to the sad part. i dknw if i can go to obs lumut cause of my joint injury. haven't seen the doctor to confirm. but i hope i would be able to go though.

on a brighter note, i saw the cute hot guy and i'm thinking of the cute hot guy again. omgosh damn addictive eyecandy! :D

you could smile and it'll be alright

just had my shower. i guess i'm one of the earliest home, cause i took a cab. training was really fun but tiring. we trained from 7-9pm at ccab. before that, we'd mass physical training from 3-6pm. we haven't been training for quite a period of time, and we've been so stressed up by the commons which just ended today. i only slept like three hours every night cause i was mugging. so i look extremely fugly now, i think. anyway, i'm dead beat now. can finally have a good long sleep tonight. hurray please.

the hockey girls are all going to obs malaysia lumut. it's a ten day camp and that'll be fun okay. but i don't think they'll put all of us in the same group. it'll always be those splitting up stuffs. sigh. i've to go to a doctor to certify that i'm fit enough for obs. haha i think it's funny la. and i might need vaccination which i don't want. i hate needles. so scary. ohwell.

nicolette and i are supposed to create a new theresian hockey web/site/blog soon. we're collating photos, so if you've any recent photos (the past year will also do), but email them to me. it's going to be the hottest site ah. haha hotstuffs.

that's all for today. i need my rest and shopping with jillian tomorrow. if you wanna come along, just text me okay? text me at the 9237 number..

off, my loves.

pain & pride

eight papers down. one more to go. for that, i'm happy. tmrw's elective history and i haven't even touch my history book. anyway, we played rugby again today. haha it was damn fun, as usual. can't wait for the next pe lesson to play again.

went to delta to watch the c'division girls & boys finals. watching the games somehow gave me some good motivation and inspiration. st nichoals won sengkang. ri lost to sengkang. but the ri boys played well la. haha gone were those days we used to train with them. and now it makes me think about mr balbir. oh and how i miss him so.

anyway, there's training tmrw. haha can't wait. it'd been long since i really trained.

off, my loves.

i'm flawed

shall keep this entry short cause i'm rushing out for dinner. the juniors really played well. we won teck whye 2-1. and so the c'girls are the second runners up for this season. well, both the seasons are over this year and it's overall quite a good year for us. both divisions got a top three placing. and so it's time to start training hard again. i feel like training so much. and yes there's training on friday. so happy.

anyway, i forget to say something yestersday. we played rugby during pe and it was a major fun. haha. floorball is fun, but rugby is fun-ner. haha. but of course, HOCKEY is the ultimate!

the funniest thing today is the 'la mei' thing. la mei means hot chick. haha so go figure.

would you come home
& stop this pain tonight?

just felt like updating. maybe cause i feel so much more relieved and relaxed. the first four/five papers are finally over. and so i'm left with four to go. tmrw's chinese and social studies which is relatively light compared to the first four papers (that is why i can be here!).

maths paper was easier than expected, but that doesn't mean i'll pass this time. literature paper wasn't difficult, but not easy either. english argumentative essay was okay. chemistry paper was easier than expected and i think i'll score for that. bio paper was okay, but the alveolus part was horrible. the things i studied wasn't tested and i spent so much time last night memorising the aerobic/anaerobic, tissue respiration, gaseous exchange and the heart thing, but nothing was tested. sigh.

chemistry class today was a major. 3d came over to my class cause mr yeo was their relief teacher. and so there were 80(+/-) students in my class which doesn't really have the seating capacity for so many students, but well, it did! everyone was squeezing and it was funny how we annoyed mr yeo. by the time everyone got a seat, settled down and stopped talking, class was already ending in fifteen minutes. it's quite fun and so damn funny i wouldn't mind having this sort of 'merged-lesson', but minus the fact that a lesson would be wasted every week. anyway, naughty girls ah!

i'm so in need of sleep. stress is a kill. crash studies are horrid!

anyway, the hockey juniors are playing their third/fourth placing finals tmrw. so maybe if you could, go to delta and cheer them on! 3pm, delta hockey stadium.
GO ON & KICKASS, MY GIRLS! :)

the light died in your eyes

kimberly is so mean she says my blog is boring just cause i don't update everyday. still claims that she's nice. so mean la. and still say i bully her. more like the other way round.

went to national library. it's huge, but once you've been there and seen it, it's nothing significant actually. they have this courtyard (garden) on the fifth storey if i'm not wrong. there're lovers there okay. so funny.

went there with sherlyn at first. then she had to leave for church and carolyn came. weiting was supposed to come too, but she caught a serious fever and it's suspected to be dengue. poor little thing! hope she gets well.

bought a nice vintage necklace and i'm happy :)

read from nicolette's blog that mr tan was uber angry because all the sec3s ponned/didn't attend phyiscal training yesterday, and he's planning for a meeting. but it was exams and we wanted to study. guess we'll all get it this time, but together. one for all, all for one; just like trainings in KL. but this time, it's more like; all for all. sigh.

have to study now. shopping after the commons. bye sweets.

there's a love that could fall down like rain

dirty little secrets we all hide
cause we all have a darker side
a place we keep where no one else will find

anyone who wants to study at national library tmrw, please text me okay? i feel so tired, i'm off.

the epitome of perfection

life'd been rather still for me. and i really mean still. other than going to school or church, i'm always home. i guess there'll be a point in your life when you're at your highest and also a point when you feel that all that fun has stopped. and that's when you feel that you're really growing up. well, at least for me. i think having quiet time and pondering over the past mistakes and learning from it will make a person grow up to be more sensible and sensitive to people's feelings. there're so many recollections going through my mind these few days. every yesterday has a lesson to be learnt. but growing up is tough.

tough stuffs,
growing up stinks.

fate will twist
the both of you

happy belated birthday, sally tan wee jia :)

and so yesterday was sally's party. i almost didn't go to the party because of training, but something uneventful happened in school (shall not mention), and that made me miss training, so i went to sally's party with leilani. okay i think it sounds funnywierd. but i'm sure you understand, right? the party was fun. was trying to do manicure for sasha and zhiyi. i think sally's doggie is so damn cute! but it's a pity i'm afraid of dogs. maybe someone could help me get over my phobia of dogs? anyway, i'd great fun and i stayed over at leilani's place.

and then it was flag day today. my class was scheduled to sell flags at tanjong pagar. okay don't ask me how come we got scheduled there. we'd our usual fun. it's so true that people say, you can have fun anywhere with your friends. isn't that truw? anyway, tanjong pagar's a business district and most of the people there are more friendly than i expected. but the sad and contridicting thing was, the wealthy people don't donate, but the commoners donated. yes i know, money are difficult to come by these days and many people's pockets are tight and financial stricken, and the recent nkf scandal made it more difficult for charitable organisations to get donations. but then again, maybe it's also a chance for people to say no to donations cause they could use the nkf scandal as an excuse. ohwell.

that's about all for today. i'm tired and i need my sleep. good night my loves.

the more i touch, the less i fell
i'm lying to myself that it's not real

school'd been bad tooday. worst is, samantha fell sick. that made my literature and history class so much more boring. now i know how much sunshine she adds in my life everyday please. and somethings are making me so damn sick. you think you're some great leader when you aren't? you dknw what we think of you actually. 'the blood is red beneath all skin', that was what i learnt from my social studies class today. bet you don't get it, do you? i'm not gonna mention anything else, but ignorace isn't bliss. sigh.

back to last week. last week was nothing more eventful than today. friday was the semi finals with st nichoals and the juniors didn't make it to the finals. what's wrong with being upset? some people just don't understand. nothing more than this, i'm not gonna dwelling on it. be strong, juniors! then saturday was the sports forum at hwa chong institute. it's such a huge school compound, but wouldn't be any surprise since chinese high 'merged' with hwa chong jc. the sports forum was no offence, but kinda boring and it was damn cold in the auditorium. but how i wished we had such a big auditorium in school. then we'll never have to squeeze. haha.

i'm thinking of locking my blog again. but i dknw if i should. should i? that's about it.

love much.

school'd been bad tooday. worst is, samantha fell sick. that made my literature and history class so much more boring. now i know how much sunshine she adds in my life everyday please. and somethings are making me so damn sick. you think you're some great leader when you aren't? you dknw what we think of you actually. 'the blood is red beneath all skin', that was what i learnt from my social studies class today. bet you don't get it, do you? i'm not gonna mention anything else, but ignorace isn't bliss. sigh.

back to last week. last week was nothing more eventful than today. friday was the semi finals with st nichoals and the juniors didn't make it to the finals. what's wrong with being upset? some people just don't understand. nothing more than this, i'm not gonna dwelling on it. be strong, juniors! then saturday was the sports forum at hwa chong institute. it's such a huge school compound, but wouldn't be any surprise since chinese high 'merged' with hwa chong jc. the sports forum was no offence, but kinda boring and it was damn cold in the auditorium. but how i wished we had such a big auditorium in school. then we'll never have to squeeze. haha.

i'm thinking of locking my blog again. but i dknw if i should. should i? that's about it.

love much.

hold on little girl
show me what he'd done to you

hey loves. the only reason why i'm entering an entry now is because cheyenne and bernadette being such loyal blog fans of mine, grumbles that i don't update, so i shall appease them by doing so. haha. anyway, check out the 3b class blog. everyone did good effort entering entries and urm, changing the blogskin!

the commons time table is out. sigh. and i've to hand up my art this friday. her expectations for us are just too much. pressing and pushing us for our work is good in a way, so we could feel the urgency, but speaking of being realistic, how can we finish so much work in such a short period of time? actually we should be blamed for starting late. sigh.

anyway, the juniors beat northland, 1-0 on monday and we're in the semi-finals, which was something we all should be very proud of! the crucial semi-finals is this friday. theresians vs chij st nichoals. venue and time to be confirmed. please come and give your support!

love much.

outragious so contagious
makes you crave it

dancethon was a blast! everyone was in nice pretty costumes, dancing. oh and need i mention that the girls danced fabulously well? i'm so proud of them! i think we should have dancethon every year, rather than walkathon or anything else. after all, i think girls would rather dance and groove and it's so much more fun! anyway, i brought hannah in. she was my 'sister' yesterday. sugarfix, i hope you'd fun yes? we're supposed to go for supper after the dancethon but we decided to head home, cause we all felt stinky and unglam and maybe too tired to stay out late in the night. talk about going out late at night, it'd been a long long time since i went for supper. maybe the next time yes?

i need new clothes i need a new pair of jeans, i wanna go shopping!

love much.

you're the prettiest thing
beauty should be your name

class was crazy today. everyone was so high and so enthusiastic about the racial harmony celebration this friday. it's the first time all these years in school i see a class get so frenzzy and busy over a racial harmony celebration. haha and it still amazes me in a way. but that high can be a good thing, especially since our class is in the finals for the dance competition, which i am so proud of!

went to little india after school with karthika. urm okay. it's my first time there after a long long time. i think the last time i went there was in primary school. some heritage thing if i should recall. haha. it's a nice place with a nice culture, but i feel wierd there somehow. but anyway, bought the sari cloth for the class. don't scream, but it's pink. but that was the nicest i seen there. at least i bought the sari cloth and not made a wasted trip there.

i think the dance girls are so disappointed. cause they need to change the hollarback girl song to something else cause there's the 'shit' word in the song. what's the fuss about that word actually? even if the teachers think that there's a problem with the song, they should tell us earlier so we could use another song and not break such disappointing news to us last minute. the dance competition is this friday please, thank you very much. wonder what we're going to do. sigh.

eyecandy is omgosh so damn hot.
- maybe you're the
only one who can save me

dancing on the kitchen tiles
it's all about you

i try not to think about
the pain i feel inside
do yknw you used to be my hero

my class's racial harmony dance is omgosh sooooo damn hot. sexy. would have danced if i could make it on that rehersal day. but nevermind, if we get in the finals then i shall dance. haha. i think it's one the best compared to the other classes, no offence. oh i still think it is just so damn, SEXY. shake it up drop it like it's hotttttt.

like i finally bought my jwest pink girly shoes. i'm so happy but at the same time i'm feeling so flying broke these days. dknw how i've been spending soooo much money recently. and i really mean a lot. sigh. oh and i met sherlyn in town just now. it'd been a long long time since i ever seen her. i miss you! x)

that's all the nonsense for today.
love much :D

i'm never gonna be
good enough for you

ever since the day you went away
my life just hasn't been the same

friendlys with the england queenswood team yesterday, was good. they're pretty nice girls, i think. saw their tour booklet and their school campus back in london. they actually get sponsors for their overseas training trip every year. and they've a really really beautiful cottage-like school. how interesting. i like their uniform!

i feel as if my ankle was going to fall out during the game. my ankle joints are loose and i'm going to do sports therapy. the doctor says if the therapy doesn't help then maybe i'll need sugery if time prolongs, which i don't want. sigh.

there's chemisty and biology test tomorrow. sigh. like both on the same day. actually we're suppose to have social studies test tomorrow too but mdm zuraida was nice enough to give us grace and postponed the test till the following monday. which is a very good thing if not i've to do crash studies for three subjects.

tomorrow's the c'div game with eastview. 3pm, ntu. so as usual, please come down and support the girls yes? shall be off now. love much.

destiny will be my all

i'll be there till
the stars don't shine

i'm beginning to love joy luck club. it's a pretty nice and interesting book. wonder why bernadette told me it's boring. haha. maybe to each a different perspective. anyway i'm starting to do my serious study and i hope i keep it up.

i'm leaving school early tomorrow. i've booked an appointment with the doctor who only works on tuesdays. and hopefully he can tell my what's so wrong about my poor ankle. and i get to miss the last three classes. yay. i bet you're so jealous. haha.

anyway, friendlys with the england team who's coming to singapore during their summer vacation. this wednesday, 6-8pm, ccab. and if i'm not mistaken, c'div game with eastview, this friday, 3pm at ntu. come down and support!

EYECANDY is so damn hot. cause you look so fine and i really wanna make you mine. wait, look only okay. but already hot enough to blow my mind x)

something to look forward to - mummy promised that i'll get my new phone next week and i hold her to that :)

alright, goodbye love.

if i don't need you
then why does your name
resound in my head

she looks absolutely lover
when she smiles

hey. first thing, many many cheers for my dear juniors. all the juniors played well. we beat yuhua, 5-0. well done, great job girls. i feel so happy for them. i have the sudden urge and adrenaline rush to train. i miss the pitch, i miss trainings, i miss hockey. i really do, really really.

anyway, had a good talk with carolyn and i sort of lighten my mind. things are getting worst, life's getting more and more screwed up as days passed. i'm starting to get very tired.

anyway, those attending the ioc seminar at national stadium, please meet outside the national stadium gym at 1.30pm. and the rest who wants to have lunch and meet up before we go, 12pm outside tiong macdonalds. please do not be late, thank you very much.

bite size thought: some things in life can never be bought with cash. and when you lose it, it's lost and gone forever.

off, loves. period.

i should be your lady

can't let those feelings show
i'd like to get right
through the way i feel for you

while i'm being oh so lazy to blog, one or maybe few things gave me the urge to enter a new entry. and that explains why i'm typing a new entry although i feel so damn lazy.

milk run today. i like the school part where we played soccer, tug of war and some obstacle thing. haha i think it's quite fun, especially the tug of war. and it was like so damn funny, the things we do. but like, i don't really enjoy the milk run. mr tan didn't allow me to run, so i became the cheer leader. yes, cheer leader which i didn't really enjoy very much cause of urm, okay don't ask, thank you very much.

anyway, random note - girls got to do what they're suppose to do, girls will be girls. especially true blue ij girls (if yknw what i mean).

second thing, theresian premier team won the premier finals. we beat scc, 4-1. it was a really good game, for those who were there watching i think there're so much to learn from the players. watching the game, makes me want to train harder to improve :)

oh. last thing, but nevertheless, the most important thing in this entry. the c'div tournament is starting on tuesday! i'm quite excited for my juniors and i hope they do well. hey juniors, do theresian hockey proud once again yes? all the seniors will support all of you despite the little disputes we have here and there. go on, show them what theresian hockey is all about!

alright, off loves.

i feel so loose tonight
i might fall into pieces

made it through the fall
and now i'm happy wondering

and it'd come to an end of the first week at school. good and bad, happy and sad. i wouldn't mind the hols again, but at least school keeps me busy with some adrenaline rush, rather than slacking everyday during the hols. but workload is starting to increase everyday. time to press on and study hard. but on a lighter note, it's the weekends again!

i'm starting to get injury prone again. twisted/sprained my ankle again. walking is still not too bad, but it so hurts when i try to run. i most probably won't be going for the milk run. but since we just have to walk, maybe i'll try. i want to pon it, but mr tan says even if i can't run or walk, i shall be the cheerleader. how? and we've to wear the new scot thing which apparently looks gross cause it's too long. so i think i'll try to get it tailored tomorrow, hopefully.

tomorrow's olympic day run!
anyone going?

anyway, it's the premier league finals tomorrow -
5pm at delta hockey pitch.
if you're free, do drop by to support the hot stars playing. like joan anne, lynn and the older players like ms martens and mrs suppiah! alright, enough of publicising. see you there!

off, loves.

when you left
i lost a part of me

i'm selfish i'm wrong
i'm overrated and i'm flawed.

hey. i just got home from delta. went to watch the premier game with carolyn and hitomi. the game was great. everyone played like they were super fly. theresians beat scc 2-1, so we'll be in the finals next saturday with src i think. anyway, it's 5pm at delta. just in case i don't blog till next saturday. go down and watch!

this holiday just flew by so fast. like this:
lots of trainings,
KL training trip,
HOCKEY HOCKEY & HOCKEY in short.

schools starting on monday. sigh. term three will be an extremely short but extremely extremely busy term. note: i stress on the word extremely.

anyway, last division two game trmw. playing with scc, 3pm at delta. alright, i'm off sweethearts. LOVES.

cause i love you
whether it's right or wrong

i can be your summer rain

hey. i'm so damn tired, i can just fall on the ground and sleep. and so the two days of umpiring courses are finally over. and it'll be another even more hectic week. training on monday, chemistry lessons, english oral exams and class party all on tuesday, team singapore course on wednesday, tanning on thursday thursday, another course on friday, youth service on saturday and finally, the last division 2 game for this season on sunday. holidays will be over and that third school term starts on monday. sigh.

anyway, we were being childish girls today. after the morning umpiring lesson, we went to some place and played at the huge sandy playground. carolyn's idea, and i actually objected in the first place. the people walking pass us were staring at us like we're some moron. but it was horribly uber fun. the high swings, flying fox and merry-go-round and taking nice funny photos. but we can't be blamed. we're fifteen, growing, maturing but still young at heart. I LOVE THOSE GIRLS.

anyway, last notice for the party.
date: 21 june, tuesday.
venue: diana's house (tanglin/ridley park. sorry i'm not too sure)
time: 7pm till late night? stayover maybe, or we can think of some fun for the night.
note: those who dknw how to get to diana's house, please meet her at redhill mrt at 6.30pm. confirm your attendance with weiting/me asap.

that's all for now, i'm tired.
off to bed loves.

why can't we love too times

THE PARTY IS ON!

tentative details -
21 june, five thirty pm till urm, late night? sleepover maybe.
diana's house (tanglin park).
final details to be confirmed by saturday.

anyway, anyone wants to bring carlsberg beer, vanilla vodka, blue/black label or anything else? give me a ring asap.

-

anyone wants to enrol in aerobics dance class with me? someone say yes please. okay period.

do you see the red in me
it's a sign for the end.

winded it up
with your beautiful lies

one whole week since i added a new entry. but i'm doing so now, maybe cause out of boredom. gave training a miss today cause of a slight case sore eyes since late yestersday night. trainings after we're back from KL. this hols seems relatively short to me now. it's ending. can you feel it?

div2 game with crescent yesterday was an absoulte urgh. shall not eleborate. dinner last night was goodgreat. XO-fish head beehoon, satay and lots of other delicious good food. teriblyhorriblyfattening. i'm guilty now.

class party might as well be postponed to the end year hols. unless sally wants one badly and until she plans it, party's quiet for now. things have been entirely too quiet for me of late. social life is getting very very, very dead. i need to book my calander crazy. i need some high and fun. so i ask, who's dying for me company? ring me.

now i realised that my hair is growing reasonably fast and i'm happy. but i dislike my horrible tannlines. urgh.

umpiring courses for sec two and three hockey girls. 18 and 19 june (this coming saturday and sunday). saturday, 9am-4.30pm and sunday, 9am-1pm, in school.

random note: the gap between reality and perfection is unlikely to ever be closed. trying to be someone you're not is tiring. growing up is difficult. hidden note.

i'm tired and there's no more air.
off, loves.

cause when you lied,
i believed in the beauty of it

outrageous so contagious
make you crave it

hey. i'm back from KL. KL training trip was alright. trainings was good but punishments were bad. cause if one groups comes late for trainings or anything, the whole team will be punished by having physical trainings. like the saying goes, one for all, all for one. beautiful memories to keep but also some unpleasant things i heard/learnt and i feel so damn disappointed, miserable and sad when i found out about those things. sigh. can't say anything now, but time will give you an answer (aren't you even a little guilty?).

room-mates were jeniffer and elizabeth. it was both joy and anger rooming with jeniffer. all her nonsense and annoying comments about every single thing. but i really enjoyed being room-mates with her (guess it wouldn't be the same sort of fun without her there).

funny bus rides
trainings and friendly games
coach gan
physical punishments together
wonderful games by the international teams
seeing mr balbir from his car
counting yellow stadium seats
patronas twin towers, sky bridge
shopping at KLCC
the freezing hotel rooms
daily meetings, reflections
room visits, supper in the hotel,
these are the beautiful memories i'll keep.

one last thing, i miss mr balbir alot, really. i don't care if you believe it or not, but the tears that fell were real, not an act if you think so. i'm so uberly disappointed if you can even think of that to say about me (yknw who you are). sigh.
alright, this is KL training trip for you.

back in singapore means more shopping for me. i need to get some new clothes and the jwest heels desperately. and i lost some weight. so i'm happy. oh, someone please date me out for a movie, shopping date, coffee, ice cream, dinner or maybe supper. leilani's in KL now. maybe i'll be out with hannah, shuping or eleanor soon :)

alright, stopping here.
LOVES :)

even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhythm
out of the doubt that fills your mind
you finally find, you and i collide

the girl that's driving you mad
is going away

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIYI! :)
hey. have a blessed birthday alright? hope you'll get your girl (am i allowed to post this? nevermind, nothing personal okay?). haha. will catch up after i'm back, or rather, after you're back from pukhet and taiwan. enjoy your birthday and your hols. I'LL LOVE YOU WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART.

this'll prolly be the last post till next tuesday. cause, i'm leaving for KL tmrw morning for a training trip. 3-7 june. we still have room allocations this time (as usual). sigh. nevermind, hockey girls, let's have fun alright?

training yesterday was urm, slack? compared to mr balbir and ms marten's training, it was really slack. not quite a bad thing though. still felt my head burning during yesterday's training. and the sun these days are, urm, bad. okay, good if you want a damn tann, bad cause it'll harm your skin. my skin'd already started peeling after yesterday's training. i'll be a black mama when i come back from KL. ohwell.

random note: i miss hannah, shuping, majella, zhiyi and leilani. my sweethearts (if you ever got to read this), we'll catch up after i'm back alright? i promise. I MISS YOU! :(

will be back soon with more interesting and nonsensical stories, that might BLOW YOUR MIND. stay tuned for the hottest news.

urm, miss me when i'm gone.
alright, LOVES :)

pull your hands away
i'm gone, goodbye.

maybe when you're done
with the endings,
this can begin

-

Jesus Christ, author and finisher of my faith,
where're You?

i know that God is always there, and i've no rights to question where God is. and i know that i've to firstly ask myself why i can't feel God's presense in my life. there's difinitely something wrong with me/in my life. i know that, but i can't help asking, where God is in my life. okay, maybe i should advert the question back to myself and not God. don't you feel that calling ourselves christians isn't easy at all? to follow Christ and walk the narrow path of truth and life. to me, i think it's more difficult than conquering the highest mountain or the deepest seas in the world. it's the most difficult thing to do than any other thing in the world. don't you agree?

yeah of course our mouth can say that we're christians, we can testify for Christ, but having your life as a living testimonial, and that others might see Christ-likeness in you, that's the thing most christians can't do. many of us have the wrong perspective of being christians. we do all the wrong stuffs, say all the wrong stuffs, act wrongly, and it's only through a word of mouth that we say we're christians. do you think others can see Christ-likeness in us? we all know, no.

i know i need to stay away from the material stuffs and the superficialities of worldly enjoyment, read the bible, and pray.

sigh. Lord, please have mercy.

hols just started and it's already getting boring. yeah, shopping, movies, dinners, suppers, but how entertaining can all these get if you do it every other day? and worst, they're all the superficialities of worldly enjoyments. i've a crazy idea to kill time. maybe i should just enrol myself in dance classes. but actually the hols training are enough to kill (and get uberly tann by the beginning of term 3). whatamisaying?

did you rise the sun for me
paint a million stars,
that i might know your majesty

thank God for the sun and the wonderfully hot weather.
the sun's good if you're dying to get a nice bronze tann, or sun-kissed.
TANNING, anyone? (i need to even out my tannlines)

i toss and turn all night
cause i was looking for an ending

hurt so bad
i almost lost my mind

down with a fever and a slpitting headache. it is really hurting so bad i almost lost my mind. anyway, i didn't play today's division2 game and i most probably won't be training tmrw. but i think i'll go for lessons. cause i need to collect the hols programme and confirm the collection of report card. and i can't afford to miss chem lessons cause mr yeo's teaching new chapters. yeah. sigh.

this is a nonsense post.
i'm off.

hot enough
to blow your mind

universal hot

-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIFEN!

gave school a miss and had a good sleep. i'm having some funnywierd feeling these days. the feeling is like, 'contextinwordscantexplain'. or rather, words can explain, you can't comprehen. only i can feel it. but i'm quite sure something is going to happen. good or bad, i dknw.

i wonder how's the party planning and preparations going on. dknw if sally'd conveyed the message to weiting. anyway, sally is one hell of a funny nut. haha.

sally: 'but what if we get too high? it's not very nice to get high at diana's house right? can we go to someone's house to stayover?'

if we get too high, then we'll just book a hotel room and hangover. yeah. since most of us can't open up our house for some underageyounggirlsdrinking-HIGH and worst still, the irrevocable mess of pukeing like donkeys(not including me. i'll be in charge of taking over the mess and changing their disgustingly smelly clothes for them. i'm sure) haha. OHWELL. but if anyone's willing to open up their house, that'll even be better. save us the cash anyway.

(pardon me, i'm in a state of mental block, but i bet this whole post is full of vocab and typo errors. so don't mind.)

anyway, SUMMER IS HERE. tanning, anyone?

run the risk of knowing
you may be gone soon

contempleting inside my head
imagine pretending

this is a bad week. results are disgustingly horrid, epecially my both maths. i passed every subject except for my two maths. but i didn't pass too well. they were all marginal passes and i failed my maths really terribly. sigh. i really need to study hard for the whole of this holiday.

all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy.
all play but no work makes Charisa a idiot.

okay. what was that for. i'm trying to cure myself. i've a splitting headache now. even my jaws hurts when i talk. i feel like i'm dying.

say goodbye to the days
we thought so fine