cos its in my head, i'm thinking and its all spinning again

hey. training today. we did what we do as usual, physical before training and of cos, as usual, training with the RI boys. come to think of it logically, they're actually helping us out with our trainings, so maybe we shouldn't be thinking of only the bad things about them. oops. anyway, nothing much interesting or spectacular. and i'm just burning myself out as each training passes. just pray that i'll be alive till the end with everyone please, cos maybe i'll break down before everything ends. :(

i just woke up from a long nap, i know i'm a pig, and i know its like kind of impossible to let you feel how tired i really am, but i'm so tired i don't know how to put it. you might say that i've no life, cos i keep on saying that i'm tired, but if you'll ever know how tired i feel, then maybe you won't blame me for complaining and whining everytime i blog. but i do have a life, seriously.

my head've been spinning the moment i got home today and its hurting so bad. someone shoot me please. but okay i'm happy about one thing, at least. when i weight myself just now, i just realised that i've lost 1.5kg within a week, which might sound like a crazy and bad thing to you, but i think its actually good for me. cos all that i've been doing, its for the cause of losing weight and i'm finally losing weight. -beams :)

sometimes i ask myself whether its worth doing all these shit to myself, just to lose weight. well, maybe i've got nothing much to lose too, i'm not exactly that very fat(okay i'm not even fat), but wait, i'm not like slim either. i tried telling myself that i was okay, many others tried telling me too, but each day seem more difficult to get pass and i gave up on reasoning with myself, since i can't make myself stop trying to lose weight. and here i am, tiring and burning myself out, to lose weight. oh God.

i can't go for a holiday this year, i can't go for a holiday this year. but why, why why? eeeks i've been dying to go to either paris or switzeland and daddy have to disappoint me, again, cos of work. this is so unfair. -sulks

oh and, i'm over with both of my old eyecandies, i've got a new EYECANDY! yay! :)

alright. that shall be all. i haven't been blogging so much since a gazillion years. so there. take care people, i'm off. bye.

i'm looking at you from afar; dream a little, dream of me