maybe when you're done
with the endings,
this can begin

-

Jesus Christ, author and finisher of my faith,
where're You?

i know that God is always there, and i've no rights to question where God is. and i know that i've to firstly ask myself why i can't feel God's presense in my life. there's difinitely something wrong with me/in my life. i know that, but i can't help asking, where God is in my life. okay, maybe i should advert the question back to myself and not God. don't you feel that calling ourselves christians isn't easy at all? to follow Christ and walk the narrow path of truth and life. to me, i think it's more difficult than conquering the highest mountain or the deepest seas in the world. it's the most difficult thing to do than any other thing in the world. don't you agree?

yeah of course our mouth can say that we're christians, we can testify for Christ, but having your life as a living testimonial, and that others might see Christ-likeness in you, that's the thing most christians can't do. many of us have the wrong perspective of being christians. we do all the wrong stuffs, say all the wrong stuffs, act wrongly, and it's only through a word of mouth that we say we're christians. do you think others can see Christ-likeness in us? we all know, no.

i know i need to stay away from the material stuffs and the superficialities of worldly enjoyment, read the bible, and pray.

sigh. Lord, please have mercy.

hols just started and it's already getting boring. yeah, shopping, movies, dinners, suppers, but how entertaining can all these get if you do it every other day? and worst, they're all the superficialities of worldly enjoyments. i've a crazy idea to kill time. maybe i should just enrol myself in dance classes. but actually the hols training are enough to kill (and get uberly tann by the beginning of term 3). whatamisaying?

did you rise the sun for me
paint a million stars,
that i might know your majesty

thank God for the sun and the wonderfully hot weather.
the sun's good if you're dying to get a nice bronze tann, or sun-kissed.
TANNING, anyone? (i need to even out my tannlines)

i toss and turn all night
cause i was looking for an ending

hurt so bad
i almost lost my mind

down with a fever and a slpitting headache. it is really hurting so bad i almost lost my mind. anyway, i didn't play today's division2 game and i most probably won't be training tmrw. but i think i'll go for lessons. cause i need to collect the hols programme and confirm the collection of report card. and i can't afford to miss chem lessons cause mr yeo's teaching new chapters. yeah. sigh.

this is a nonsense post.
i'm off.

hot enough
to blow your mind

universal hot

-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIFEN!

gave school a miss and had a good sleep. i'm having some funnywierd feeling these days. the feeling is like, 'contextinwordscantexplain'. or rather, words can explain, you can't comprehen. only i can feel it. but i'm quite sure something is going to happen. good or bad, i dknw.

i wonder how's the party planning and preparations going on. dknw if sally'd conveyed the message to weiting. anyway, sally is one hell of a funny nut. haha.

sally: 'but what if we get too high? it's not very nice to get high at diana's house right? can we go to someone's house to stayover?'

if we get too high, then we'll just book a hotel room and hangover. yeah. since most of us can't open up our house for some underageyounggirlsdrinking-HIGH and worst still, the irrevocable mess of pukeing like donkeys(not including me. i'll be in charge of taking over the mess and changing their disgustingly smelly clothes for them. i'm sure) haha. OHWELL. but if anyone's willing to open up their house, that'll even be better. save us the cash anyway.

(pardon me, i'm in a state of mental block, but i bet this whole post is full of vocab and typo errors. so don't mind.)

anyway, SUMMER IS HERE. tanning, anyone?

run the risk of knowing
you may be gone soon

contempleting inside my head
imagine pretending

this is a bad week. results are disgustingly horrid, epecially my both maths. i passed every subject except for my two maths. but i didn't pass too well. they were all marginal passes and i failed my maths really terribly. sigh. i really need to study hard for the whole of this holiday.

all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy.
all play but no work makes Charisa a idiot.

okay. what was that for. i'm trying to cure myself. i've a splitting headache now. even my jaws hurts when i talk. i feel like i'm dying.

say goodbye to the days
we thought so fine

all the girls in the house,
let's boogie

MID YEAR IS OVER,

and so these three weeks of torment is finally over. maths paper two was so much easier compared to paper one. cheyenne and i almost screamed after our maths paper was collected today. we were so happy. yesterday's bio paper was unexpectedly easy. and i'm expecting to do reasonably well this time.

got back english and chinese paper. managed to passed, but didn't do too well. i'm quite disappointed, especially with my english grades. sigh.

okay. and of course when mid year's okay, it's time for SHOPPING! wanted to get the so hot hot-pink slippers from aldo, but they didn't have my size. almost bought a pair hot pink flats. bought two skirts and some brown purple nail polish. it's so nice okay. i'm going to try it soon.

i want a nice black wallet, a floral handbag and the pair of pink flats. may be buying them soon, or i'll wait till i get to KL then i'll see if there's any good shopping to do there.

i'm happy. someone date me out for coffee, ice cream or supper? haha.

remember the summer time
when we were swinging

can't you see that
everything you are
and everything you do
is all that i ever need?

no paper yesterday, so there isn't school. spent half my day with weiting at king albert park trying to study. at least we got some stuffs now. i think we should start to study earlier next time rather than do crash studies before the exams. cause i concluded that it's not of much use, except getting ourselves all anxious.

history paper today was a breeze. the exact thing came out in the essay questions, as usual. art exams was a disaster. i dknw what nonsense i painted. then again, art is something words can't describe, your eyes can't comprehen. ohwell. but tanyalak's chicken painting was damn good please. i like. nine subjects, seven papers down. two more to go, bio and maths paper one. then i'll FLY. but tomorrow's bio. sigh.

thought of this on my way home from ps. just a passing remark. some people are just forever so simple-minded and superficial. the things they say are just nonsense that's not even fit for human beings to hear. you do all those bad things and think you're that great and the whole world looks up to you? please. think again.

training tomorrow for div'two girls. 6-8pm, ccab.

okay. i should stop.

why don't we believe in second chances
and start a little new

your hit and run case
i'll take it as a ride

hey. okay, maybe someone can tell me your ideas about the word, 'FLOW' and what you would draw with the theme flow. oh my cow. i am feeling so damn terriblymiserablyhorrible. and i say, i'm sick and tired of art and drawing. sigh. i've been drawing for the past three hours, and not even one piece of drawing paper is fully done. it's all bits and pieces here and there. i haven't even finish my sketches, so how do i start with my composition? art exam's on wednesday and i need to hand up five a3 peices of preparation work. SOMEONE TELL ME HOW I SHOULD DIE. sigh.

maths paper two was a kill, dammit. accounts was stupid and boring. i'll fail maths for sure. anyway, i haven't started studying on my history and bio. yes, damn BIOLOGY please. i absolutely have no idea about anything on bio. this is my damn week.

exams please be over.
i'm tired, tired.

there's no more air

wants you to feel her vibes

-

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY
TO MY DEARERST SISTER,
CHARMAINE LEOW NENG HUI!

dearest sister, although your birthday also falls during the exam period, hope that your birthday was merrily celebrated. continue to brighten up my everyday and kickass alright? continue to be nice and sweet okay. may the love, joy and happiness of the Lord be with you. bless you! I LOVE YOU TERRIBLY, SISTER. HUGS :D

birthday was last saturday. it wasn't really eventful. didn't spend it happily, merrily, or whatever you call it. it's the exams period and i haven't got much mood to celebrate either. plus i'm already used to all these years of celebrating my birthday with books and exams. worst stuffs to add on, mummy forgot about my birthday and she even scolded me early morning. tuition in the morning, youth service in the afternoon, hospital in the evening till the night. that's my birthday for you. oh, i didn't know/expected so many people actually remembers my birthday. anyway, i really appreciate those who remembered my birthday, and bothered to least, send me birthday texts. yeah, and those who gave me pretty pretty gifts and cards. thanks for being such sweethearts.

i was naughty. i wasted the whole damn afternoon at sasha's house with weiting, supposingly to be studying, but we ended up talking. oh, and a little bit of singing. it was quite nice talking to these two girls. we're all tired of growing up and somewhat feels the same about things too. it sound like they're my soul sisters, doesn't it?

sigh. exams are so near and i'm still full of play mind. but at least i'm concentrating more than i did, for all the previous exams. i expect to see some improvements in my grades this time. the only thing that'll be disappointing is my emaths. wait, i still haven't started on my art. my five a3 pieces of preparation work. sigh. tell me how i should die. sigh.

i'm planning to go for chocolate buffet at fullerton after the exams. those who're interested, please let me know after the exams eh. cause i think i need to book a reservation. wait, should i go? i feel fat. growls.

alright, i'm off sweethearts.
LOVES!

want me like i want you

when it's about you
it's all about you,

i'm typing, and i'm annoyed. my computer seem to be infected by virus again. every page is taking damn long to load and i'm pretty much damn annoyed by it. worst still, the main white light if my room is spoilt, so i'm using all the tiny spotlights which are stupid. why is this so? ohwell.

chinese paper yesterday. the paper was fine, overall. one very bad point is, the whole paper is talking about speaking chinese, preserving the chinese language, and why is chinese important. everything was chinesechinese&chinese. but, the last compre is stupid, very damn stupid. it's like a thirtysix marks compre and they ask stupid and pointless questions which seem almost the same like any other questions they gave. last question was nine marks and it's about your own personal views. it's so dumb, and i still can't get over why this sort of compre was set.

english and chinese papers are over and i feel quite relieved that two paoers are over, although it's only the language papers. so now, i'll have to study hard for my other papers. i can't afford to fail. i only plan to fail maths, cause i know i can't so much at this point, to pass my maths paper. i'll just have to practice it during the hols, to make up for it. yeah.

anyway, the consequences are laid for the sports girls; if you fail more than three subjects in the mid years, your name would be taken out and you can't take part in any tournament. good or bad, i dknw.

mm, i dknw if it's even a right thing for my to type this here, but i think i should just do it. if you're reading this and yknw that this is for you, please don't be too offended by it eh. i'm sorry if this'll sound evil and i was mean to ignore you all day, but hey, i'm tired alright? and i don't plan to fix things cause when it's ruin, it's ruined. there's no point trying to fix it. i'm happier with life like this. i'm sure you will too, maybe you just need more time. last thing, stop crying.

okay, i typed this entry in a rush, so i bet it's full of typos.
i'm off, sweethearts.
LOVES.

when you tasted what i've got

cause when she walks
the wind blows and the angels sing
but she doesn't notice me,

hey. it'd been long since i posted a new entry, but i shall do one today, just cause i feel like it. my blog'd been pretty dead recently. no mood to blog about anything. nothing great's happening. life is miserable, as usual.

weiting just left my house. she came over to study, and well, surprisingly, we managed to get some work done, which was good. she's by far the only few i can 'study' with and really get things done, so maybe she can be my new study partner.

tuesday was english paper. and it was quite a kill. okay, i never had a problem with english and this is one of the first time i'm quite worried about not doing well, or worst still, fail. that'll be the worst thing that could ever happen.

tmrw's chinese paper. and i haven't really learnt the important words yet. well, i would like to do it soon, but i somewhat feel that i won't be able to do it. maybe i should just forfeit the fillintheblanks words, as usual, and tyco my chinese paper, like what i always do. and they always end up with quite a satisfactory pleasant passing mark, considering the fact that i didn't learn anything. but i think i should, for tmrw's paper. the luck will not be stuck with me forever.

ohwell, tell me how i should die.
i'm off to do some last minute revision now. i'm tired.
someone please call me and talk to me. i'm dying bored.

LOVES.

the girl all the bad guys want