no you don't know what its like, to be like me

i don't know how to put this across, there're so many things i want to say, but they all just seem too difficult to put it across nicely, so it doesn't hurt anyone, or rather the person i'm referring to, oh and most importantly, so that it doesn't sound like i'm bitching or something, cos that's not what i'm trying to do and i might do it un-intentionally. its so difficult to keep to that limit, sometimes i just don't know what to do, so i end up keeping it to myself, and yes i'm keeping it to myself, its just so pissed off for me. and sometimes, its amusing how i can make myself do that, when i just simply want to put across to let the person understanding how i feel. okay, so do you get it? oh nevermind. pretend you never read anything, cos i don't really understand what i'm typing either.

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i would rather hurt myself
then to ever make you cry.
but do you feel my pain?

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i'm like how cheesed off, but i'm happy, cos christmas is coming. oh you wouldn't know how much i actually love christmas okay. no you actually don't. anyway, the best thing is that christmas this year will be so much better, cos, well i'm not going to reveal anything yet, but it just can't get any better this year. well, thats if everything goes right, at least i pray so. sigh.

gwen's birthday bbq is tomorrow, and i need to shop for her present before training, or else i'll have no time to do so. oh dear, she wants a russia flag, so where the hell can i get one? haha so if you've any idea of where to get a russia flag, please text me later. its urgent. training later, but today's going to be different, cos RI won't be there, cos they're off in jb for their training. so is that good or bad? i say good. haha. but anyway, this's going to be our last training before we all head to jb for our training. is that good or bad? i say good again. ohwell.

with the radios all turned up so loud, no one hears you screaming