hidden sorrows

study study study.
that's the sort of wonderful life of a teenager.

i've more or less stopped procrastinating and started on serious revision. i think i'm really quite far behind time, to have just started. but this year is better than the previous years. i've been more consistent throughout this year so there isn't as much pressure as the previous years. but that doesn't mean that i'm not stressed. in fact, i am very very stressed. especially for my maths. sigh.

oh maths oh maths, all my life, i'd longed to fall in love with you, know you deep and inside out, so that i could solved all the tangled mysteries inside of you. i'm trying but would you give me a better chance so i could be better?

right now, the only thing i want is sleep. i'm tired and i wanna sleep. if i'd a chocie, i would sleep forever. there's nothing much left for me to stay. maybe?

anyway, all the way girls. three more weeks.

silent hurt

& you won't get to
see the tears i cry

english paper 2 was set to kill. i felt that it was unexpected to have been given a pretty damn tough paper. well, it's over and since i've done my best, i couldn't be least bothered.

the news reported that a little girl in india killed herself cause she wasn't given pocket money(four cents) for lunch. i think it's so sad and i feel for her. four cents and she took her life? sigh. so many parts of this world are still living in poverty. the rich are getting richer, the poor getting poorer. what's becoming of this world?

nothing made me smile or even triggered me to do so today. not even pride.

pride was sad. mmhm actually i dknw if it's really sad but i just felt that it was sad. was it sad or did i bring in my sadness into it?

i feel horrible and miserable. it's more than bittersweet misery. it's worst and i hate it.

enough said. i'm really tired. i'm off.

beautifully perfect/
perfectly beautiful

bbq at shaleen's house was great. her house was pretty damn amazing. it is horribly huge. it's really like a palace, like some sort of a fairytale land. beautiful. she has a lift inside her house. tell me how kickass is that. basically there's everything you need to find comfort, in her house. oh her room is so big and nice. the design is so zen. haha. we spent most of the time playing pool. no wait. and we took lots and lots of photos. the photos are funny cause we tried to amuse ourselves. there's the yellow jailbird! haha. we felt like some miniature dolls inside her big house. and now bernetta and all of us are waiting to apply to be a permanent resident there.

and now, we've this dream/aspiration. if all of us don't get married next time, we'll all contribute half a million or maybe a million each. so if there's eight of us, we'll build a eight million house. then we can all stay together. hitomi suggested that we build a hockey pitch so we could play everyday. she said she dreamt of it before. haha. how true.

yknw what's the difference between beautifully perfect and perfectly beautiful? go figure.

that's about all. english paper tomorrow. sigh. all the best girls.

let me romance with you

it'd yet been another hectic week. it's finally friday. i always look forward to the weekends, don't you? school was a major rush. we're all rushing to complete the syllabus and hopefully be in time for the eoy. the teachers say that the papers are set so even if we can't finish the syllabus, they won't reset the papers. sigh.

bbq at shaleen's house tmrw. yay. and i know madeline can't wait cause she keeps telling me that for this whole week :D

madeline, marissa, jillian & hitomi, if you read this, send me a text okay? we've yet to confirm about tmrw. are we going shopping for the lumut stuffs or meet at coronation/king albert park? or what? sushmita is asking me already. text or ring me okay. i'm waiting. haha.

i can't wait for monday & tuesday. not because i can't wait for school, but there's PRIDE. these two following episodes will be very very sad cause the girl's dumb boyfriend she waited for two years came back and she left halu, when he was finally really in love with her. dammit. it's so sad. i think i'll cry. for sure.

english paper on monday. sigh.

drop me a love tag.
love love love : D

born from pain

i'm home cause i'm down with food poisoning. sigh. i hardly even eat and so how could i get food poisoning? anyway, last weekends and monday was no much better then the previous week. division 1 lost to police, 2-3. church on sunday was good. i enjoyed the inspiring sermon about evangelism; food of labour. school yesterday was boring. trigonometry is over and we're doing circles now. oh sky. i'm still stuck with the dumb trigo. and i hate it. no wait, i'll learn it.

mental skills:
using my brain to become the best student i can be.

eoy promos are in two/three weeks time. chemistry and biology practical tomorrow. chinese orals on friday. english paper next monday. i'm damn stressed.

but on a lighter note, daddy'll be back from shanghai tonight. so i won't have to go to school and travel around myself. i'll have the car.

anyway, there's party at shaleen's house for the b'division this friday/saturday.

take the chance

first week of school is uber tiring. trainings were good and friendly with temasek poly was alright but not really up to high expectations i think. all of us could have played better, so much better. the weather is crazy hot and i fell sick with sore throat and tummy ache. my stomach'd been churning since yesterday night. i feel so sick now.

division 1 finals tmrw. 6pm, delta. be down & support!

pride & pain

i'm tired after two long days in school. school term four started out okay. everything's in a rush now. eoy promos are in three weeks time. i feel the urgency to start serious revision, but i somehow still lack the drive to do so seriously. i know i keep procrastinating and that's a terrible thing.

the good thing about today is that i managed to rush home, shower and am just in time for the show, pride. it's a really nice show and the guy is so damn hot. i bet jillian is so jealous cause by the time she gets home, it'll be over. but i've to wait for a week more to watch it. sigh.

friendly at temasek poly
tomorrow, 4.30pm.
club training, ccab, 7-8pm.

tired, & off to study now.
bye, sweethearts.

addicted to that rush

the division 1 team beat combines school in golden goal. the final score was 2-1. and so the finals is next week! mental skills lesson today was good. i learnt some new things. hopefully i'll be able to convert them into what i do as time goes. i'm learning. visualise.

ms martens gave us a new aim/motto/target for next year's bdiv, which is not easy, but with the mental skills, i think we can make it.
- minds of steel
& legs to die for

our dream, here we come.
we'll chase our dream!

superfantastic

just got home from the hockey dinner. went to marche for dinner. didn't really eat much. stupid cramps made me quite full to start the day with. was craving for rum but obviously they do not have rum at marche so i'd breezer instead. didn't help satisfy my craving cause the alcohol content was only five pathetic percent. i want blue label now!

then after eating, we went to esplanade to celebrate xinni's birthday. we baked two chocolate cakes for her. how sweet right. we'd such a difficult time trying to light the candles cause the breeze was quite strong. but we did it anyway. mmhm guessed xinni was touched. then we discussed about lots of issues and i found out that actually most of us share the same opinion to things. shall keep them till due date. it was really a good night and i know that my girls & i are all growing up.

went for checkup and i can go to obs malaysia lumut. hurray! sigh. eoys is starting soon. i have less than a month, and i've eleven days left for my art, of which i've to produce sixteen drawing sheets. i'm going to drop art at the end of this year. right now, i only worry for my maths. sigh.

my kinda woman

i am horridly red. burnt. well, the sun almost killed yesterday. training was great but i prefer pitch trainings. anyway, we especially love the dog & bone game. carolyn, bernetta, dora, jillian, madeline, marissa, xinni and i teamed up and bullied the juniors. then they lost la. haha. but it's so sad hitomi has to go to another group. but we all had fun. there were no sprints after training yesterday. so glad.

sec3 hockey ladies, dinner tonight!
venue: suntec marche
(please be at cityhall at 6pm).
time: urm, as late as we want huh. EVERYONE PLEASE COME, PLEASE! :D

i feel so urgfhhh, the red. sigh.
off to shenton to my mum's office.
period.

chance

yesterday's training was good. i think i'm improving, a little bit here and there. and for that little step, i'm happy. at least there was no sun to make it worst. our faces are still red with heat. mmhm maybe sunkissed? haha. anyway, carolyn, jillian and i watched the perfect catch. it's a okay show. there wasn't much of a climax, but the guy was really sweet. carolyn think so too okay.

training today is in school, 1-3pm. i bet we'll get horridly red.

the sec3 hockey ladies are having a dinner tmrw. i hope everyone knows about it already. the time and venue is not confirmed yet, but i think we'll do so after training today. please have some suggestions in mind!

the best

HAPPY BELATED
BIRTHDAY, XINNI!
you'd been a great motivation & encouragement to the team. train hard for bdiv next year. i know you'll shine. love much, dearest captain :D

training was uber tiring, but good. one word; satisfactory. and the only few reasons why we all pushed on was for bdiv next year. xinni kept on encouraging us with next year. and it was good. it certainly helped alot, since we were all so tired. it reminded me of mr balbir's trainings, the johor trips. sigh. how we miss. three rounds for warm-up, two rounds round the pitch of dribbling drills, and five rounds of sprinting & the two hour training and short game, was no joke. the new formation gave us some problems, but i think we'll work it out well in quick time to come. plus it was under the torture of the cruel scorching 2-4pm sun. and so i'm horribly sunburnt. my skin's starting to peel. well, i guess we're starting to have serious trainings for next year's bdiv. if we continue to fight all the wrongs, i think we'll do good. but above all these tiredness, i give everyone two thumbs up. satisfactory.

triggered sadness

& so it's the september hols again. but it's sad cause this hol will be pretty damn short. well, it just started so i shall only rant about how short it is until it ends la okay.

anyway, i watched the channel news asia documentry on krakatoa. it's about volcano eruption and tsunami that happened some 122 years ago. and it's scary the way the volcano erupts, causing the tides to come and washes everything away. okay. & every single time i switched on to channel news asia, they'll be showing something about korea. whether it's a commercial or news, it'll somewhat be something that's got to do with korea. & till now, it still triggers my sadness when i see the word korea.

sigh. how i miss those boys. people say, it's a small world. if the world is small, it makes asia even smaller. & so if asia is small, korea is even smaller. and lets say they all live in seoul. so even if we're in seoul now, do you think we'll be able to meet any of them along the streets? haha i say, no. cause even when singapore is so small, it's difficult to see someone whom you wanna see, but easy to see someone you'd hate to see. even at a small shopping mall, you'll see more people you dislike than the one you would like to see. so does that make singapore small? no. korea/seoul small? no. the world small? definately not. it was never a small world. it could be small, unless of course, with fate. well, we'll see where destiny brings us with those korea boys la. but as far as my thoughts are concerned, there's not much hope in meeting them any soon, what more in this life?

ohwell. i dknw what i've been typing and i bet there's so much typo errors up there but i couldn't care less. & if you understand what i've been trying to prove, i think you're good. so the conclusion is, cherish those people around you. you'd never know when they'll just leave. and regretting is the worst and last thing that should ever happen.