i just want to be, i just want to be with you

mmm i'm back from church and i didn't see my eyecandy today. grrr he wasn't at the lobby after my church ended like always. he should be there, but he wasn't there today. just a bunch of little boys kicking a ball around. sigh okay i'll just have to wait for next week then. hopefully i can get to just see him, then i'll be more then happy. haha.

mmm there're some people who just can't keep their words and their promise, they just make empty promises. i mean, whats that for? if you can't keep your promise then please just close your mouth and don't let those words slip out your lips. its not exactly very quite nice to make empty promises and make others go happy for awhile. and whats so much with the world, the material and branded stuffs? are those things really important? do they really make you happy? if they do, then i'm sad to say; you belong to this world, which is not of the heavenly father.

looking forward to cheryl's BBQ this tuesday. at least i have something to do on tues. mmm i think i'll be having dental appointment on wednesday and some family appointment, so i might not be able to attend trng on wednesday. there's trng tomorrow and i need to get my rest early tonight. yawn.

oh and there's someone who's starting to spam my tagboard again. i dunno whether its the same people, but whatever. i don't think i offended anyone and why don't i have the right to have a tag board? if you say i'm asking for trouble by putting a tagboard at my blog, then i ask you, what trouble am i inviting? you to spam my board? but hey, i didn't invite you to spam my blog that is, and if you would just like to save some trouble for both yourself and me, then just sod of please.

anyway,
happy halloween! :)
after halloween, its boxing day, then its my favourite; RED CHRISTMAS! yay! :)

-

` blame it on the boggie

a thousand miles, vanessa carlton

making my way downtown
walking fast
faces passed
and i'm home bound

staring blankly ahead
just making my way
making my way
through the crowd

and i need you
and i miss you
and now i wonder...

if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
qould pass me by
'cause you know
i'd walk
a thousand miles
if I could
just see you
tonight

it's always times like these
when i think of you
and i wonder
if you ever
think of me

'cause everything's so wrong
and i don't belong
living in your
precious memories

'cause i need you
and i miss you
and now i wonder...

if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by
'cause you know i'd walk
a thousand miles
if i could
just see you
tonight

and i,
i don't want to let you know
i, i
drown in your memory
i, i
don't want to let this go
i, i
don't...

making my way downtown
walking fast
faces passed
and i'm home bound

staring blankly ahead
just making my way
making my way
through the crowd

and i still need you
and i still miss you
and now i wonder...

if i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
qould pass us by
'cause you know
i'd walk
a thousand miles
if could
just see you...

ff i could fall
into the sky
do you think time
would pass me by
'cause you know
i'd walk
a thousand miles
if i could
just see you
if i could
just hold you
tonight

-

mmm i love this song. anyway, my post for today is below. :)

-

good morning sir, would you like to donate?

today was flag day, i was selling flags in town. it wasn't really that good or great either. we didn't exactly did our job well, we were slacking after the first hour but at least we managed to collect quite a bit, it wasn't exactly easy, cos there were many other schools selling flags too. but above everything, it just made me realised something; singaporeans are selfish and stingy. horrible people. i dunno why people carrying LV, gucci, pranda, valentino, dior bags(whatever brands you can think of) and those even wearing gucci pants, dior sunglasses and LV shoes, so sophiscicated dressed can't just stop and drop even a single cent into the donation bag. i mean they're those of the people with higher and better living standards then the rest, and thats why they should be those who have better financial ability to donate more, okay don't talk about more, but they don't even donate a cent. they just walk pass and pretend like they didn't see you or even better, tell you they don't have small change to drop a donation. but since they're so rich they have so much big notes, then why can't they just drop them in? its for a good cause anyway, its not as if we're begging them for money. horrible rich people, i call them; poor little rich people. they're rich cos they have a lot of money, but they're poor cos they're selfish and stingy. its those commoner wearing simple clothes and taking no brand bags that donate, some even donate notes.

what is the world becoming?

-

anyway, i saw the remaining singapore idol finalists; olinda*, sylvester, taufik, leandre and daphne. they were having a public appearence outside heeren. haha i was so excited especially when i saw olinda. cos i can't help but love that girl. she's so cute and i love her so much. i think she's the best with the best talent and attitude towards changing for the better and singing, and i want her to win. i LOVE olinda. she's my sexy mama. yay! :)

oh i have church tomorrow and i can see my eyecandy. haha i'm so happy i'm so excited i can't wait for church to end, i can wait to see him. oops.

-

is a never wish better then this, when you only got a hundred years to live

in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you

hello folks. good news, i don't have to retain next year. i wasn't given a chance to, i wasn't allowed to retain by the school, but given the chance, i would. i want to start all over again. but since i can retain, i'll promote to sec3 express and start all over again.

it isn't difficult to believe that its the end of school term, end of the whole school year, cos time really flies. i'm feeling great and not too great, i'm having mixed feelings about end of the school year. of cos its great that we could put away our books and enjoy this hols. okay i know its not as if we studied really hard that we deserved a good break, but its still a chance for us to take a break from school, well at least for myself. i'm really tired of school, i need a break, i need my rest.

i'm not feeling too great about end of school term cos its my streaming year and i know that i'm gonna miss my sec2 class, being in a class together. i know when it comes to splitting up or graduation, i'll just be filled with emotions. i dunno whether its a good thing, but i think its always sad to split up, especially when you think that you've found the friends, those that you would really want to keep for life. i dunno about the rest, but i know im going to miss being in the same class with everyone.

its not like we(2b) have the best student or maybe have the prettiest in the school or anything like that. we were actually nothing, but i can see everyone grow from inmature silly little girls from sec1 to more matured girls in sec2. it has been two years, two long years, but it seem like it was just yesterday. there're so many fond memories that will always be kept close to my heart. i'll remember our sec1 orientation camp, sec1 efl, sec2 efl camp and the recent class BBQ party. come to think of all these, i just feel so warm.

so much had happend this two years. both good and bad, but i've learnt a lot from everything that had happened and to accept everyone the way she is. there were some conflicts, and i'm here to apologise to those whom i've scolded, offended and even hurt in anyways. i'm really sorry but its what we've all gone through that made us stronger and make us bond closer to each other right? please don't take anything to heart.

i feel like doing shoutouts;

2b girls(everyone)
hey girls, these two years spent with all of you was really great and enriching. i've learnt a lot from all of you and i know my sec1 and 2 wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for all of you there, it wouldn't have been the charisa here. although i hate splitting and if i were given a choice, i would chose to stay with all of you. i hate to say this, but when there's a beginning, there's an ending. its the end of out two years together. i really appreciate all you girls and all the precious memories we had will always be kept close to my heart. all the best in all your different classes, continue to study hard and do well. i know 2b girls are strong and we'll all do it together, no matter where we are alright? i can't help it but i'm going to miss studying with each and everyone of you. 1/2b is a rocks! i LOVE you girls. :)

brenda
hey pebbles! its the end of the year. yay! haha maybe not. just want to thank you again for tolerating my nonsense and my bitchfits at times. i know you're a friend that i'll keep no matter what, no matter when, no matter how long. train hard during the hols. love you :)

cheryl goh
hey you smart girl! its the end of the year, and i know i'll be missing you during the hols and when we split into different classes. jus continue to study hard yes? i know you'll go very far, with your brains. sorry about the conflict we had before and sorry for scolding you that time. i still feel bad about it. haha thanks for everything. -iLy

yi ting
pretty girl! i dunno whether you'll get to read this, but just want to thank you for all the things you've done and helped me through. i know you'll go far with your brains too. just study hard and don't slack. i'll miss you during the hols. iLOVEyousexy.

kylie
my dear councillor, i really had fun hating and loving you. although i only found you more likeable towards the end of the year, but thank you for not catching my belt, eating in class, to using my phone in class. haha no la, actually, thank you for everything. i think you're really nice and i've learnt to like you, but now that we're splitting, i'll miss you. i love you too k. -hug

felicia and joanne
my dears! i will really miss the two of you sitting behind me in classes. you're my best sitting partners in class and i LOVE you! takecare sweets.

shenevie
hello. i know this last term haf been really hard for you. it would have been hard on me if i were you too. all these while, i hope that you've learnt, and not make those same mistakes again. i'm sorry for scolding you and we're still friends k.

maria
mmm so you think i don't miss you la. i miss you too okay. i enjoyed gonig out with you today and yes, we'll go out during the hols but you must date me cos i dunno when you're availale. yes of cos i would want to go into the same class as you. lets see our fate. okay takecare. i'll miss you. i LOVE my genius! :)

eleanor
my precious BOO! i miss you so much where have you been these two days? i know you're studying hard for you Os and all the best for your Os alright? i know you can do it. do your best and God will do the rest. i'll be praying for you. i miss you, i LOVE you! :)

-

i'll do anything, just to get to you again

sigh. i think i should be fine. i was going through some terrible and maybe the most difficult phrase of my life till now, the last few days. bad tummy upset and really disgusting results. anw, thanks to those who were concerned. i'm fine and i think i should be able to pull through this. i'm strong, remember? and i think i've came to my final decision. i want to appeal to retain sec2 next year, cause i don't want to promote to sec3 express and get the terrible subj combination. anw, thank God that my parents and family are supportive of me retaining. at least i still have them even if the whole world looks down on me. i'll most probably be promoted and i dunno if its possible for me to retain, but i want to retain. okay i know i sound stupid saying this, but it really wasn't a easy decision to make and its easier said then done. its too late to regret now. yes i would waste one year, but i think i rather waste one year then waste my whole life just because of my failure this time. i don't care about what others will think of me after i retain, but i'm doing this for myself and i want to study sec2 all over again. i'm sick of town, i'm sick of money, i'm sick of all the material stuffs, i'm sick of this world. i'm already over all those. all i want to concentrate doing is, study. sigh. people, just pray for me.

ele and hannah: thanks alright? i should be okay, i guess. takecare too. i miss my BOO and my hannah. see you two sweets soon alright. i'm missing you more each day. -hugs :)

my life is in a horrible shit mess now i dunno what i'm doing i think i'm going bonkers i think i'm gonna die soon. okay blame it on me, those stupid horrible results, those damn things that have been happening these few days. all and all, everything; its all my fault. but its too sometimes, its just too late to regret. yes i know its all done(its easier said then done) yes i know, but this is my end. i'm better off somewhere else then this terrible hellhole. oh and please everyone, please leave me alone. bye.

even heros have the right to bleed \

please please, will you be MY BOO? <3

i've finally decided and i've made up my mind. i'm getting really really tired of going to town and walking around aimlessly. its just like some lost sheep moving around looking for some grass to eat, in this case, walking around and looking for something interesting to do. but but, there seem to be nothing much to do in town, cos when you visit it so frequently, like almost every other day and went into almost every shop and everywhere so many gazillion times. it can really get very very very boring. so i decided, i will not be going to town so often anymore. i shall find some other place to go to or find something interesting to do. mmm i feel like reading and reading now. so people, you wouldn't be seeing me in town so often anymore. so come find me, peek-a-boo. (:

dadidums i'm so happy i'm going to church tomorrow and that means i'll get a chance to see one of my eyecandy. mmm i'm so excited i can't wait to get to church and wait for service to end then i might get to see him. okay i hope i will. :)

eleanor*
hey sweetums, you're and you'll always be my most special* BOO, really you are. anw, thanks for your shoutout. i'm not sweet i think you're the one who took too much chocos and you're really really damn sweet. i can't stand you, i can't resist you dear. haha that sounds wrong. but i love you. you know that i love you and i know that you love me. -ily*

i would give my lifetime, just to be with you

hey. i'm back from leilani's house. slept over at her house last night after the class BBQ party. the class BBQ is finally over and i'm so glad that everything had gone well.

class BBQ party (yesterday)
went to leilani's house early, at about ten with cheryl, sasha and yiting. adeline, brenda, grace and samantha came later. haha then we went to swim and tann, but there wasn't really any sun that was strong enough for sun tanning. so in the end, we ending up swimming and playing with water and the huge float that leilani have. oh and we went to the suana.

mmm, i didn't know i look like eighteen and i can buy hooch. haha it was quite a long time since i last drank. okay i know its funny, cos i don't think i really look eighteen but i still managed to buy hooch. ohwell.

it started to rain at five plus, before the BBQ started. and everyone was quite worried and disappointed cos if it's going to rain heavily, it would disrupt our plan and our efforts. haha so we were really anxious and so we decided to bring all the food down and shelter them before the rain gets too big for us to bring the food and stuffs downstairs.

yes it rained, there were continuous thunders and we were all sitting under the shelter with some rain splattering at us when the wind blows. everyone was so scared that they would get electrocuted by the lighting. haha it was really silly. i prayed for the rain to subside and we waited and waited, and yes, God is good. the lightnings soon passed us and the rain soon stopped. and we were able to start the fire going.

so we used a few really huge unbrella and shelter the BBQ pit from the slight drizzle and the wind. we were trying to start the fire and after a few attempts, we got the fire going. and everyone soon came and it was messy with everyone walking here and my hp was ringing continously cos everyone was calling me and i was really busy.

we were really lucky cos the rain stopped exactly at the time when everyone reached. thank God. we were bored and while waiting for sasha to start the fire, so i started the idea of pushing people into the pool. we started to push people into the swimming pool. so everyone who were around got pushed into the pool and were all wet. haha it was so funny.

mr tan and miss goh came to join us and mr tan bought us a chocolate cake which was quite delicious(but fattening). haha and of cos we didn't missed the chance of pushing mr tan into the pool. everyone too away his hp, wallet and we threw him into the pool. the security guards are horrible. they kept on coming to us and told us that we must be in our swimsuit to go into the pool. they even stared at us for a long time. so annoying.

but it was not as if we really care about what they say, so we continued pushing each other into the pool. i was in my swimsuit, so i was okay. but everyone was all wet in their clothes. haha. the guard came to us for so many times, telling us not to push people into the pool, bla bla. and we didn't know what we could do to shut their mouths up and since there were too much food, we cooked some and offered it to them. but it was pointless. they still kept coming to tell us off. stupid pig brains guards.

the most fun thing was towards the end, since almost everyone was already all wet, so we decided to go to the playground pool and play there, cos it was quite far from where all the guards were and they wouldn't be able to spot us that easily if we don't scream too much. so we went there to play. it was uber fun. and when the guards come, everyone ran to hide behind the concrete wall leaving me and those who were in swimsuit and we managed to chase the guard off by splashing water at him. and when he went away, everyone came back to play. and the whole thing repeated quite a few time. haha those silly cockroaches.

time was up and everyone had to leave. so we stopped playing, went to eat some more food and cleared up the place. by eleven plus, we finished clearing up the place and everyone left. though not everyone came, i hope everyone who attended enjoyed the BBQ and the fun.

anyway, there's school tomorrow and i'm quite anxious and worried for my results. sigh. just pray that everything would be alright. takecare people. i'm off. (:

give thanks with a grateful heart.

mr big - to be with you

hold on little girl
show me what he's done to you
stand up little girl
a broken heart can't be that bad
when it's through, it's through
fate could twist the both of you
so come on baby come on over
let me be the one to show you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

build up your confidence
so you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
little boys that talk too much
i've seen it all go down
your game of love was all rained out
so come on baby, come on over
let me be the one to hold you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it yoo
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

why be alone
when we can be together baby
yuo can make my life worthwhile
i can make you start to smile

when it's through, it's through
fate could twist the both of you
so come on baby, come on over
let me be the one to show you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too
waited on a line of greens and blues
just to be the next to be with you

just to be the next to be with you

all of my thoughts, all of my words; its all about you

hello everyone. it has been quite long since the last time i blogged. anyway, i screwed up my lit paper. and the stupid eoys are not over yet. yes i'm dying for them to end. i can't wait for the eoys to be officially over. cos almost everyone is already having fun and kicking but i'm still stuck here with my eoys. its not that i'm not allowed to be out, but even if i'm out, i won't have the full swing to play. but its all going to be over soon, just next tuesday.

many uneventful things had happened, i don't wish to elaborate, but i know God sees beauty in all bad situations and circumstances. sigh. the world these days is getting to become a more and more terrible state. there seem to be no love anymore. everyone are just so self-centered and only cares for his/her well being, but not for those around. what is the world becoming of? mmm, the end times are coming, really coming.

okay enough of those sad stuffs, haha anyway, did i mentioned that i got a new eyecandy? haha he's so cute, he's so sweet and he's so hot! and maybe he turns me on. haha just kidding. mmm so much for having eyecandies and crushes. you're looking so delicious.

alright. thats about all, don't ask me who's my eyecandy, cos i won't say and i really won't tell! okay study hard people, just two more days, we're free from all the weight of the eoy exams. (:

all of my days, i want to praise, the wonders of your mighty love.

White Houses, Vanessa Carlton

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This bungalow alone with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alrightAnd I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been So I go,
and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses I lie,
put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
in white houses [x3]

i will always sing of your constant love; i will proclaim your faithfulness forever.

God is really good. God is faithful, in all good and bad times. i mean, God have been really gracious and merciful to me. nothing can be compared to God's faithfulness.

i was sleeping last night, and throughout the night, i suddenly had a very very bad migrane. i dunno what was the cause of it, but it really hurts alot. i tried to continue sleeping, but the pain started to get worst and worst. it was really painful, so much so that i woke up crying. i dunno what happened, all i know was i was crying through the night. i had no choice, cos it was really too painful, i woke daddy and mummy up. then we prayed, and they talked to me until five in the morning, then i went back to sleep. when i woke up just now, the pain was almost gone and i felt so much better.

God listens to prayer, and He really answer prayers. a prayer can really change things; a prayer that is not long by length, but the amount of faith there is in a prayer.

nothing seem to be bothering me anymore. im getting along with life, and i just want to thank God for everything.

angels come and adore you, and we your children worship you

hello. it has been a really long time since i last blogged. and i just realised that my blog is quite dead these days, especially when i don't blog and no one logs on to look at it, cos there's nothing new to read. that is why, im finally blogging now.

so many things have happened these few weeks, good and bad, happy and sad. but all in all, i really thank God for bringing me through all my problems and trails.

anw, the good thing is that, the english paper is over. so that means i can put aside on subject and focus on the rest. i could have felt that i've just put down a burden when the english exam was over. haha. such a good feeling.

i feel really small these days. life'd been so busy these days. so much so that i've been caught up with my own stuffs and even things of the world. the things of this world seem to be really alluring, and even hypnotising sometimes, i say hypnotising because, sometimes, i get really too caught up with those things i see in fashion mags, advertisments, in shopping malls, in town and actually everywhere.

its quite scary sometimes, when i think of it. this world is going into a worser state everyday, more things are created, means more sins are made too. but all the things of this world are of sins, not of the Father, and they will never be.

yes, of cos i know that. but its easier said then actually done. i've been in a bad state nowadays. i know i've neglected God, and i know that i've been treating Him as my part-time friend. when i'm in need, i'll go to him and beg him for help, but when my life seem to be taking off well, i forget all about this God, of whom without Him, i wouldn't have been what i am now. i owed it all to you, God.

-

Lord, i know i've been a worldly-being these days. i haven't been a holy-being, what you wanted me to be. i know i've disappointed you in so many ways, but Lord, there's really so much i wanted to do, so much i wanted to stop myself from falling into temptations again and again, but so much is easily said then done. Lord, my faith is weak, and i know you know it, you know how i'm made, you know that i'm dust. sometimes i really want to come to you and confess all my sins and wrong-doings. but at times, i'm even too guilty to face you, for you've given me so many chances to repent, but yet, i've chosen the easier way out. and i've been sinning against you. Lord, i know that so much that you hate sins, but you still love me. Lord, i want to walk the narrow way. i know that it'll never be easy, but Lord, i know that i'm walking this walk with you, and i know with you, nothing will be too difficult. because Lord, you've already overcome all sins, and the price you paid for us on the cross, bearing all our sins and shame, was because of your love and your amazing grace. i might not be able to understand your love for sinners like me, but Lord, i know that, in love, you came. thank you for your nail pierced hands, your love, your forgiveness that washed my sins, still cleansing, still flowing. thank you, Lord. i want to be the child you want me to be, not of what the world wants me to be. because Lord, i know that i'm living, not for myself, but for you, Lord. and i know that no matter what, Lord, you will never forske me. Lord, forgive me of my sins, renew me, and keep me strong in faith. Lord, i want to try and be the child you want me to be. i want to be living for you, i want a break-through in my life, i want you shine for you. use me for your glory Lord, cause Lord, you're my everything, my Lord, my Saviour, my world.

Jesus, You're the lover of my soul. i'm falling deeper in love with You each day, cause You've taken me from the start and even though my world may fall, You'll never let me go. My Saviour, my closest friend, I will worship You until the very end.

-

You are My World ; Hillsong

My father, i adore you more than anything my heart could wish for
I just want you
And Jesus, my beloved Saviour everything I have, I owe to you
I owe it all to you

And angels come and adore you
And we, your children worship you

You are my world, you are my God
And I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord, the one I love
No one could ever take your place

And everything I have I give to You, my Lord the one I live for
I live for You
And all my days are gifts from You, I pray I'd use them as You want me to
Use them for You