i want a day

sermon today was helpful. the way to solve human-relationships (conflicts, tension, differences, etc), starts from God; starts with love, acceptance and respect. difficult lesson to learn.

i want life so rockin'

for looking, for puppet looking

headed to city harvest church this afternoon to attend my cousin's wedding matrimony. eh you know the bridegroom is so sweet. he sang this lovesong to the bride(my cousin). i think marriage is a sweet and touching thing. but i wouldn't think of myself being in one maybe for the next ten years? haha maybe longer still (who wants such a ugly thing like me):

hur i wonder how did jennifer's ballet exam went.
(that thought cracked me up:)

naturally

dearest jennifer just texted me:

jennifer: tomorrow's my ballet exam and my mother is buying me fake buns hahah.
charisa: huh what fake buns? omg fake BREASTS?
jennifer: you're crazy sick girl. hair buns la.
charisa: haha chey okay take photo and show me.
jennifer: crazy you will laugh at me.

isn't this hilarious? hahah fake buns = fake breasts?
gosh, what was i thinking of?

you've been the one, goodbye.

chemistry class just ended and being so lazy i cabbed home :') english paper 2 was set to kill. what is attorny? it's some sort of an occupation? i'll check the dictionary later on. paper 1 was pretty much expected but paper 2 was like gosh, the summary is so tough and tricky. i just hope i'll score well in paper 1 which constitutes a higher percentage.

cousin is getting married tomorrow. mm last night i was just wondering how it feels like to get married. walking down the aisle into the church with a long white gown and a veil covering your face (i hope you won't fall). wierdest of all, all eyes will be on you (the bride and not the groom). and i concluded: eeeeuk so freaky/scary. and that means, i'm gonna attend a wedding tomorrow for the first time in 469853527 years.

seems like most people in class are a bunch of slackers. no one wants to study on a friday. cheyenne is the worst.

charisa: do you study outside home?
chey-n: no.
charisa: oh so you can study well at home?
chey-n: no.
charisa: then? (puzzled)
chey-n: i don't study at all.

haha go figure. anyway, chem and bio practical on tueday. i decided to get the Pappillio Florida Virgin White birks. haha there's panties and bras, hearts and flowers printed on the birks. how preeeeeetty :)

i can't give you the reason

tomorrow's the english paper. i'm gonna score this time cause i gotta meet expectations of others and most importantly, myself. i can't let myself down like i did in CA1. i sorta had a 'backing' up/reason for not achieving decent grades then cause it was my busiest tournament period. now it'd been long since the season ended. just revised my work and it shouldn't be much of a problem sitting for the paper tomorrow.

this is a 'fast' week, the days are flying by and the anxiety(exams) is killing. got my wireless network on wednesday. am suffering form severe pre-(yknw what)-syndrome and i need coffee right now.

woah good-looker :)

no point in talking what you should have been
and regretting the things that went wrong
life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
remove the clouds, look at the bigger picture

i just sorted out my notes for every subject and i'm all ready to revise :) my files add up to half a metre high cause i got everything intact. i'm so happy and proud i did. so proper revision shall start tonight/tomorrow. last year's work are cloudy. to all studying now, i pray for mighty strength to guild you through. keep the consistency and everything will be fine.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MARISSA TOO. girl, we'll celebrate together after the mid years alright? together with hitomi and i. love you a million cheeeeese cakes! :D

the joy of the Lord is my strength

back from church today. am extremely tired. didn't catch a good sleep last night. i kept sneeeezing throughout :( i'm learning the drums. although i seem to have some hands-feet coordination problems, but hur it's cool baby.

one year old spiritual birthday tmrw (baptism)! thank God it'd been a year. early birthday greetings to, cyrus, jiemin, jeffrey, zoeleen and your truly :) may we renew our faith and live our lives with Christ-likeness and may the joy of the Lord be our strength everyday. Blessed are those whose Lord is Christ. Praise the Lord!

and how can i forget, early birthday greetings to marissa too! favourite girl, i love you! <3

hey mama(s)

good morning earthlings. i just woke up from a long sleep. actually no. hockey bdiv dinner yesterday night was good. feels like last year. we see captain lam and felissa lai in skirts woah. even skinny jennifer looking so sleeky (what a once in a life time please). and we took many many photos :) then we watched take the lead at 12 midnight at lido. the show is nice. haha dancing dancing dancing. reached home at three am and slept like a piece of log.

anyway, pardon me i'll upload the pictures later yeah? i tried but you see, my comp is crashing so yeah. i just heard my sister screeeeam. guess what? my brother's frog jumped out of the container. haha and i guess it's dead now. yayyyy! no more slimy frogggy :) alright gonna go to church now.

each morning I get up I die a little
can barely stand on my feet
take a look in the mirror and cry

napfa is over and i kinda screwed it :( now i'm wondering why i'm not doing anything to prevent it when i know i could have done better. and there's something i'm so ashamed of. something is missing, the essence is missing. life, life is tough.

hockey girls, please email your hockey shirt desgin choice and also choice of colour for our school hockey team jacket to mrs tan by sunday, 10pm latest (check the hockey blog for more infomation).

school bazzar tomorrow. i don't even think i'm going. btw, buttons by pussycat dolls is a damn hot song. hur, go listen.

Been flying high, you know how I feel
Stars when you shine, you know how I feel

we're currently passing the "warriors of light" booklet around the bdiv team to autograph for each other. as i read through what everyone is writing for each other and also how much we're grown/improved (according to ms martens), i just can't help but feel sad now that this bdiv journey ended. all the stuff we wrote for each other are cliche but so true. it's amazing how much we've gone through and made it in such a short time. from crashing our cdiv in 2004 to being in bdiv finals in 2005, to being under21 bdiv champs 2006, to being second-runners up in bdiv 2006.

honestly, i'm longing for the day to graduate (i still am). i always have morbid thoughts on what st theresa's convent had given me all these years. but now as i think back, i know it'd created a new me; the biggest part of me - the hockey team and i'm really gonna miss every little thing we do.

i just want everyone to remember the - the pitch trainings, the fitness trainings (stairs running/climbing, sprints and the ten times to and back the pitch), the malaysia training tours; johor, malacca, kl, and best of all penang (shoppings!), the friendly(s), the tournaments, the mental skills/preparations, the team talks, the goal setting, the game plans, the watermelons, the ups, the downs, the pain, the sweat, the tears, the scoldings, the mistakes, the failures, the hardwork, the determination, the fighting spirit, the trust, the support, the hope, the passion, the desire, the love, the success, the winnings, the dream team 2005/2006.

i don't know why i suddenly got quite emo about this but okay for the first time, i would say life's a bliss (the reason is you girls). Stick Wit Me!

we'll never know

thanks nikki for the preeeetty blogskin :) i appreciate it alot! anyway, hockey dinner this friday and i'm looking forward to it cause, practical exam on friday is postponed! Oh Praise the Lord!

buttons

as mrs phang had predicted at the beginning of the year, the stress is really coming at this time(month of april). i can feel the pressure weighing down on me. but well, it's not that bad yet i think. and till now i've been studying consistently but it's not my best yet. i promise myself i won't burn out.

study session study session study session. carolyn and jillian? we'll make it once every week yeah. say friday at harbor front? i'll try to get majella (girl i'm missing you!) too. and don't worry. i'll make sure we really study instead of talking. the life-force will come from me.

chinese mock paper this friday, chem and bio practical this friday and is the bdiv team dinner on friday too?

hurray we've more than enough people to order birkenstocks and we'll have our free shipment :) please give me your orders by tmrw? we'll place the orders this week.

never, never ever give up

planning with no corresponding actions is just but a dream

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Philippians 4:13

i kinda wasted whole my afternoon today. but then i made up for it. i just studied four chapters of mr yeo, nooooo, actually chemistry. only chemistry (which took me three hours). i could have just slept cause i'm so pissed tired. but instead i'm proud i did something productive. youknw why? cause i counted how much time i have left for mid years and i started to panic. seems like healthy stress/pressure eh. if you need some motivation you can always come to me cause i'm ready to rant and share my stress with you. i'm sure the pushing will do great. i'm desperate for a confidence boost so i'm aiming for L1R5 below twenty points for the mids and i don't care what it takes, i'm so gonna do it. i'm gonna do my most loved(hur) maths soon. so brother and sisters in Christ, pray for me yeah?

btw, who wanna buy birkenstock at www.footshopping.com ? if you want please tell me then we'll take the orders together soon okay (free shipment). must be quick cause i'm buying it as a birthday present for myself (how sad).

easter sunday tomorrow. blessings to all.

i marvel at Your
saving Grace

the last supper was really greeeeeat! i didn't even think of this idea before hur. the food was good and i really enjoyed it. the sharing session by 'open doors' on prosecution of christians all over the world was so touching, i almost cried. they were put through great pain and torture because they were christians. but they held on so tight. now i feel ashamed because i'm blessed with freedom, with everything and sometimes i still feel the discontent.

God is really faithful. all doors can be opened through Christ our Lord. whatever your level of faith, so is the level of your receiving.

i'm catching a fever, so i'll be off to sleep. blessed goodnight.

(who), so rockin'

for once, chemistry class was hilarious. awww do youknw sodium is exciting? mr yeo 'performed' the 'reactivity of sodium in water' test. first, he made us stand really 'far'(haha) away from the pot of water. then he put a 'big'(haha) piece of sodium into the pot of water with indicator phenothylene. obviously the water turned pinkpurple cause sodium is alkali. the first time failed but the second time we saw the sodium catch a small fire in the water and then all of a sudden, pop and ahhhhhhhh! the sodium exploded and everyone screeeeeams(!!!) at the state of shock (the true nature of girls revealed). hur, girls are really just girls, really.

okay there you go, i just revised my chemistry. aren't you revising too yeah? then back in class was even more funny. mr yeo asked if the sodium flew to anyone and naughty weiting had to accuse diana (cause she was scratching). funny class.

okay, no-training days are good in a way but also very bad. each day is passing so slowly. friendly game with sajc was cancelled, at least for the sec4s cause...i won't say much here but yeah! we really gotta study and we shouldn't be touched, youknw. hur :(

list of events
i'm looking forward to:
1) the last supper (church tmrw)
2) good friday (holiday!)
3) easter day (celebration!)
4) chem & bio prac? maybe not.
5) yingying's birthday :)
6) my 1st SPIRITUAL birthday
(water baptism btw)
7) marrisa's birthday :)
8) english SA1? maybe not.
9) my sweeeet SIXTEEN (7 may!)
10) definitely not SA1...
11) but definitely the june hols!

i feel your pain, i feel your joy.

at times when i look down
and all i see is sinking sand,
i'm thankful that it's You
the solid rock on which i stand.

life is never easy. well, frankly speaking, it's kinda tough. it isn't at all fair and unfortunate things befall us unpredictably. happiness or joy seem forever to come but worries/problems are never ending.

then i think back (cause good friday and easter day is nearing) on how Christ had been crucified on the cross, and how much He'd suffered for an unworthy wretch like me. i feel that my problems are gone cause Christ had carried the weight of my sins, my everything.

btw, just to share about good friday and easter in case you dknw the significance of it. approx. 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ (son of God) was crucified on the cross for everyone (sinners) in the world. good friday was the day Jesus was crucified and three days later, which is easter day, He ressurected from death. Jesus bore the pain and thought of us above all!

sometimes i think i can't go on anymore but Jesus is my strength.
God is good, give Him Glory!

Your grace had found me
just as i am.
my pain is healed in Your name.
it's been mercy all the way.

it'd not been easy

today was a bad day. i was behaving like a bitch, my fault. sorry favourite girls, today was my pms/
i-want-things-my-way day. i feel really bad now, really. i promise i didn't meant for it.

everyday, i give myself new hope. hope that quickly this day would come for me to walk away from this. everyday i tell myself to be strong, i tell myself not to cry. i hate insecurities. but it seems, i can't find a way out.

'if you cry, your life will always be sad. it's useless to cry. your tears do not wash away your sorrows. they feed someone else's joy. and that is why you must learn to swollow your own tears'. that is why i don't cry so no one knows my misery. who knows? only God knows. i'm so used to it, i tell you, swollowing tears is easy but swallowing your own misery time and time again isn't.

growing up, makes me tired.
in fact, it's killing
everything in me.

strength

when i feel down i look to you
when i feel low your words ring true
its not by might or in my strength
but by Your spirit moving in my life
cause God You are my life

for the first time in my life, i'm busy studying my hearts out (i'm trying to hard to). and i'm no longer addicted to this box i'm facing. i feel quite accomplished. please pray for me so that i can do vectors and finish my study for mid-years. it's really God working in my life. i promise when i collect my o'level results, i'll stand on the pulpit to give thanks and celebrate the faithfulness and glory of God. i'm keeping the faith.
Praise the Lord!

(, dollface)

could i ever,

bacteria are gross things. bio lesson wasn't least bit of facinating, in fact it made me sick. i shall save you the agony and i won't make myself even sicker so i'm not gonna elaborate, hur. & now i can't do vectors all over again. especially the area kind of questions which needs the application of sine/cosine rules
(trigonometry, is my weakest). right now i'm caught between so many weak subjects. my time is running near.

anyway, you'll see me with my red hot paul frank watch next week. so if you see a girl wearing that youknw who preeeetty is. hahahah. if you see identical, youknw who bestfriends are. yes, hitomi?

sister charmaine leow nenghui, charisa leow SI hui'd been missing you, alot, very much. meet up realllllly soon! <3

still

i'll walk closer now on higher way
through the darkest night
You hold my hand
Jesus guide my way

when i am weak You make me strong
for in the power of Your name
all things are possible
my heart will trust in You.

i love the weekends, i'm sad it's all over again. saturday'd been great. i'm loving shopping alone. i know it sounds crazy but i really do. it's good to be alone sometimes (everytime actually). i finally bought my taboo set and a pair of pointed shoes. oh i bought this damn sweet looking red pouch :)

bestfriend, the paul frank watch is hundred&twentynine dollars. do you wanna buy it? :D

had tuition today and i'm starting to enjoy vectors. praise the Lord!