you're the one i want to chase.

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life'd been pretty hectic for me and i think everyone these days. so much books to bring to scool, so much work to do, so much trainings, so much everything. i don't have enough sleep and it shows in class and on my face. i try to get sleep in between lessons and all those terribly fugly pimples are popping out. :(

it'd been three weeks with my new class, but i still don't like, and i hate the idea of seperating with everyone. till now, i miss my past class. its so miserable to see everyone in different classes now, but still in the past years cliques. i can't adapt to my new classmates and this is killing me. oh, someone, please tell me why.

i've bought so many things i want, and now, i feel so broke. actually to be honest, very. mummy and daddy are still in Hokkaido and they won't be back till monday night, but i need cash terribly. yknw it feels so bad to step out of home feeling broke. yknw?

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i've been missing church too much, really. and i'm kind of feeling very bad. i don't read the bible, i don't pray much these days, i'm slacking so much on my quiet time with God, i know i'm losing part of my faith i have in God. sometimes i feel that the presence of God is so far away, i can't feel his mercy and grace the time i need them most. i'm such a failure, i'm such a sinner. its a terrible feeling, i know i badly need some revival for my soul, spiritually and emotionally.

oh Lord, please talk to me during service tomorrow. i know You're watching over me and i'm still Your child. Your grace is never far. i need You terribly now, where're You?

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game with crescent tomorrow. hope we'll play as well as the previous match with northland and everything'll turns out fine.

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but you can't ask me to stay.