she wants to go home, but nobody's home.

-

i'm sick of everyone, i hate this world i'm living in.

it's coming to an end of the second week of school and there's only one word; miserable. yes, school'd been really miserable, well at least to me. or rather, life'd been so miserable and unfair to me in many ways, or maybe, every way. so many uneventful things have been happening to me, and it just feels so wrong. it feels like being kicked and pushed around, nothing feels alright, no, you don't know what its like to be like me. sometime i just feel that my existance in this world is just so wrong, so wrong, really. sometimes i just wished i was someone else, or maybe born in a different part of the world. but of all places, why am i stuck in this hellhole here? i know it sounds crude, but well, i really can't take it anymore, i can't hide anymore. i seem extremely fine and normal, but all the things i hide, but do yknw how terrible and miserable i really feel deep inside? yes you do? no, i doubt so.

i don't want to make myself sound like i'm a girl trying to make myself sound very depressed, cos i need attention, but i don't. i hate to admit this, but well, maybe i am. its like so much i'm trying to put aside, so much i'm trying to forget, so much i'm trying to hide, but enough is really enough. its so difficult trying to be someone i'm not, always laughing and happy when deep inside i'm not. i'm not what i am, seem to you. you don't know what exactly i'm really like, no you don't. you can't feel the agony in me. i know this sounds a bit scary, but you don't know how exactly it feels, so you can't say no you don't believe, no you can't judge.

does anyone wants to be my punching/kicking bag? my ocassion bitchfits are here again. this is bad, it'll make me and you go crazy. so go away.
ohwell, i'm off. :(

with my big fat smile and stupid lies, but deep inside, i'm bleeding.