rich & superficial

DO YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING
ALL THE TIME?
maybe you're suffering from depression.

for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm seriously suffering from depression. seriously.

i'm at hitomi's house now & we just watched life of luxury. oh golly goodness. the people featured are duper filthy friggin rich. mmhm imagine having that much cash to spend thirty thousand dollars for your precious dog's birthday bash? the dog gets to wear diamonds which are tens of thousand dollars & get a tea party with hot ladies dancing for him. women dancing for a dog. haha please imagine that. carolyn says that she would rather be that dog. the show's quite cool & really entertaining & highly amusing. it's wierd how rich people spends away their bling bling that never seems to dry. but it's okay. i never imagine being so duper rich. maybe if i had one percent of their bling bling, i would be the happiest & most contented girl on earth (one percent of their bling bling is a damn lot, excuse me).

back to yesterday. class chalet was okay. the bungalow looked really really scary & freaky like a real haunted house. haha. left early & went to town & many things happened after that. i spent forty bucks on cabbing. ohwell. but it was rather fun cause i haven't been out late for a long time.

weiting - hey. please don't feel bad about the chalet okay? we really appreciate your efforts. sorry for leaving early. i swear we felt damn bad & guilty after we left. hope you girls'd an exciting & thrilling night stay. you're a great class chairperson & i mean it. see you soon!

that's about all for now. we're waiting for jill, mar & mad to come over & swim.

temptation

i love you endlessly
but when it comes to me
you don't even notice me

hate it or love it, the holidays have officially started. that's not a very bad thing though. i can get some time off busy school days & for the least, catch more beauty sleep. this holiday schedule is duper packed. i have the obs lumut trip & the malaysia hockey tour. & about four trainings per week, plus the occasional club trainings, it would amount to five or more everyweek. & did i mention that most trainings are three hours. i have some extra classes in school to prepare for o'levels next year. this holiday would be busy busy busy but i think fun fun fun too.

a long holiday means that there would be many temptations. too much time & space for temptations. well, i know it before it even comes. temptations leads to sin. church sermon today was on how Jesus overcome the three temptations and how we could use Jesus as an example to resist & overcome temptations. it's to have God's words deeply engraved in our hearts & not to feed the temptation. it sounds easy, but it's not easy at all. the holidays just started & there're already so many temptations. i'm afriad, i really am. i hate being put to such tests. & i know it's cause my faith is really weak & i feel like i'm in such a dilemma. God, help me.

tomorrow's halloween party. eh weiting i feel that there's still so many things undone. the drinks thing is not confirmed. you need to tell me if i'm supposed to get them early. & you please hitch me a call if you read this tonight. call me anytime tonight. i'm waiting.

early HAPPY HALLOWEEN, people.
much fun & love to you sweethearts.

the beginning

mmhm almost everyone online is busy & not talking to me. tell me why? haha. if you come across reading this & is online now (i believe you are), yknw what to do huh. sorry for being childish & whiney. but that's what i feel like doing now.

i wanna be standing
at the beginning with you

today's the last day of school. i'm happy cause school's out for two months. but i'm somewhat really sad cause the seniors are graduating. hitomi said that i'm wrong to say three cheers cause today's the last day of school. mmhm i'm taking back those words now. it's the seniors' last day in school today & we would never see those beautiful faces in school next year. nothing triggers my happiness & laughter as much as this team does. seriously, b'division was a great experience & a huge lesson learnt. it was one hell of a great motivation for me, not only to excel in hockey, but in life. you girls have taught me so much through bittersweet experiences. i feel so privilleged all of a sudden to be part of this roller-coaster journey. i don't think i would be able to find another group of such special people or rather, angels. goodbye's always the hardest words to say, but i don't think all the friendships would come to a stop, cause this isn't how we're all gonna end. all endings are just beginnings. & i wish for the best for all the seniors in the beginning of their journey in life. you've done it in b'div & you can also do it in o'levels & in life, even better. we all are a bunch of ordinary kids with extraodinary powers & will be shining no matter where we go. the bdiv story; bruce, remember? back to the usual; the sky's the limit, we'll chase our dream. go & show the world how you all could really fly. i would be be dreaming of all the sweetest things that ever happened & i'll be dreaming of your laughters. greatest love & blessings :)

here by me

time will tell if i'm gonna make it
there's no way to be sure about
but i'll take my chance

three cheers cause tomorrow's the last day of school please. it's amazing how time flies. i always say this because it's so true, isn't it? one year passes just like another. already three years in school & it would be o'levels next year. next year would be better cause i already told ms goh i'm dropping art. the workload is just too much. i think i'd rather concentrate on both maths cause i really suck at it. results are not really ideal & up to mark but i'm quite satisfied with some subjects. my overalls are affected by maths. someone great in maths, teach me please.

training schedule for the holidays are up. there are so many trainings & things to do & i would be so busy. very soon, the holidays would be over & school would start for year 2006 & soon it would be o'levels. it's amazing how time flies, remember?

i think i'm going to do something really crazy this week.
go figure.

notice me

it felt as though we were given a spring test today. mr leslie gave the sports ambassadors twenty minutes to plan an interclass game for the sec2s cause twenty six teachers were out of school. it was almost immediate & we were totally unprepared. but i can say that everything went on quite well, for a last minute thing & since we were so anxious & unprepared. we used the old fixtures & game settings we used for the sec3 interclass last week. at least we've done it before & could us it as a backup plan. not too bad for the start.

training was fun. there wasn't any stickwork cause it was raining. we did some circuit training & played the tennis & rubgy game. i like the rugby game very much. lyn li is a good catcher. she never misses any balls we throw at her. but she's mean!

open house is next friday & we got to get the decorations & souvenirs in place. we're gonna paint a banner & it'll be fun.

those going to lumut, please bring your passport & two 1.5 litres bottles. we have physical trainings on wednesday & friday & i think we would be carrying the bottles of water & running.

halloween party's confirmed & i think it's only for my class. mmhm. meanwhile, please think of some creepy party ideas so we could use them impromptu. i've lots of wierd ideas already. haha. stay tuned for more hot news.

it's so sad the seniors are leaving this year. time really flies. they wouldn't come back no more. i'll miss those crazy nuts terribly, won't you? sigh. study doubly hard, seniors.

jillian & carolyn, get well soon! :)

infatuated

went to ps & watched flightplan with the usual girls. i mean, carolyn, jillian, madeline & marissa, but without hitomi today cause she'd cip. so you'll know who are my usual girls next time round eh. it's quite a cool show with an unpredictable storyline. go watch it!

halloween party is not confirmed. weiting just text me & said the bungalow would be hundred & thirty plus plus. well, let's pray that it'll go well this time.

carolyn - hey. hope the wierd growth in your right eye isn't serious & it'll be okay soon & nothing to worry about it. get well soon :)

growing up is kinda topsy turvy. moods & feelings changes all the time. at least it's normal, isn't it?

there's this boy that is everything i ever dreamt of. close to perfect & almost with no defects. the first look was enough to kill & make me fall in love with him. i dream about you all the time. pretty boy, where're you?

a gift of love
author unknown

"can i see my baby?" the happy new mother asked.

when the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. the doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. the baby had been born without ears.

time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. it was only his appearance that was marred. when he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks.

he blurted out the tragedy. "a boy, a big boy ... called me a freak."

he grew up, handsome for his misfortune. a favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. he developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. "but you might mingle with other young people," his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart.

the boy's father had a session with the family physician. could nothing be done? "i believe i could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured," the doctor decided.

whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. two years went by.

then, "you are going to the hospital, son. mother and i have someone who will donate the ears you need. but it's a secret," said the father.

the operation was a brilliant success, & a new person emerged. his talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. later he married and entered the diplomatic service.

"but i must know!" he urged his father, "who gave so much for me? i could never do enough for him."

"i do not believe you could," said the father, "but the agreement was that you are not to know ... not yet."

the years kept their profound secret, but the day did come ... one of the darkest days that a son must endure. he stood with his father over his mother's casket.

slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal that the mother had no outer ears.

"mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently, "& nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they?"

real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.

i dknw if this story is really true, but it made me cry. maybe i'm really a hopeless romantic. a mother's love can be so great & what more about God's wonderous love? uncomprehenable.

God's love; hung crucified on the cross, died sinless, rose again, all for love.