& I was a kaleidoscope

I'm so knackered by school. Glad that it's friday tomorrow but then again, there's one more long day to go (plus chemistry practical that starts at 3.30pm!). That's late & I don't like it. The (kafkaesque) mock exams are starting next week & there'll be many late days in school. The crashing pressure really killjoy. But I can do it cause I don't believe you can activate your sterotype on me. You're not gonna win that from me.

Don't mind what people say. Hold your head high & walk away.

I do not like sterotypes. I stress on, do not. So if you think you (I dknw who you are but if I know I'll get my ass right to you & catfight wityou but if you're someone I know then I'll be sadly disappointed) wanna sterotype me or maybe think that I'm not good enough for certain things then please do come to me & say it into my face. I am wierd? Yes I absoultely think Imma wierd too. But I feel that I have less kooky brains than you. If I wasn't good enough or shall I put it as I don't deserve it, do you think things will come easy on me? Btw it didn't & it wasn't easy. You can't be better off if you can open your mouth to make such sterotypes. Cause all you see/think is a backward thought (too many possibilities now) of where I should be. Yeah maybe I was lucky & you buggers just fell short of that least bit of luck (or maybe you just ain't good enough). Damn you.

& no, this isn't a case of spamming.
Maybe it's just my periphrasis.
I'll just throw it all away. Sorry & Goodbye.

& I'm thinking of you, I do every year
When we count all our blessings
& wonder what we're doing here

Am feeling so cramped up. Today was my first day at sick bay, for three lessons. Had some good talking with Joanne :) Anyhow, Mdm Zuraida told us that school ends at 12.30pm next friday cause it's the opening show for musical, Sing to the Dawn. & the consecutive monday will be a holiday (polling day hol). Am so looking forward to the extended hols. Chinese listening is next monday & youknw what? I'm now searching frantically for my entry proof. Goodness me, I hope I'll find it.

Give me all you feel, throw it away. Think about the good things no matter what they say. We'll take tomorrow one day at a time.

& nothing will I fear as long as You (Jesus) are near

I wanna shout, no screeeeeam to the world & proclaim that I have a great God. So just now Mr Ben Soh from Sajc called me to tell me that my dsa application has been approved. There ends all my dsa worries. & also adds on to my faith & I will keep studying harder & harder. Youknw why God is so amazing? He's too good to me, too merciful to a wretch like me. Seriously, I (used to) take each day as it comes (some say happy-go-lucky), I used to think only for today, not even worrying for tomorrow. But God is so gracious, He has paved such a beautiful way out for me. I saw things in poor light but He sees things afar & make all things good in His time. Really, He is my comforter, deliverer, provider, my ever-present help in times of need (never been forsaken). I have such great privillege to be a child of God. What can I say? Jesus, You're in control.

Zidane was such a disappointment. What was that silly mistake for? It caused damage to the nation's pride.

& I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'll understand

It's not like I'm shutting my eyes or heart to all my faults. It's not like I don't admit my wrongs. I tried to smooth away the difficulties but there're snags everywhere. Which is the right side of the cloth? There are faults on both sides. Who is without faults? Well, if there was one person, it definetely wouldn't be me. Life is not all beer & skittle. The moment we gave our first cry, we're all liable to sins. No one gets a chance to start on a clean slate. I'm no special & so what makes me?

Okay I've been thinking hard & I figured I need/must start a study group asap. I need to get down to serious work & I can't do it at home. Too many distractions (eg, bed). We can do serious work from monday to thursday then friday we can go hunt for food at night. Maybe we can call it a Eat-Books-Club. That's wishful thinking on my part. I'm not sure if any of you wanna do it. Another alternative is someone please open up their house for me to study after school. I dknw what hit me but Jennifer was the first that came to my mind. Anyhow, this is not exclusive (although I would like to keep it small) so if you're interested just let me know. Seriously, you can be anyone (no sick ah-peks that is).

Was watching the third placing game yesterday & I felt that Germany, with all the hardwork & extra effort they put in (plus roaring fans & undestructable national pride) sort of deserve to be playing in the finals. Not that Italy don't but I feel quite a pity for Germany. Then in the game last night I saw the bravest (best quality) side of the human heart. That fighting spirit & courage (sorry if i'm wrong) can be best & most seen on the sporting field. It's stronger than the wind, louder & fiercer than a lion's roar & the heart/passion beats faster than a cheetah run. Such braveness will be seen in great sporting heros. Hopefully France will get to celebrate tonight. This world cup I've conqured/controlled all my urge to bet. Braveness, isn't it? Hur.

This world has been crying for so much more

Youknw watching the Portugal vs France game really reminded me of something. Only realised it when the game ended. It happened exactly to us in the semi-final. Well we were "Portugal" and we gave away a penalty in the first-half and "France" in our case was St Nicks, scored & the final scoreline was a painful 1-nothing. So if everything goes the way it went for us then I think France will win (I wanted & France will win). Btw the penalty scored was a blast & boy we can't deny that Zidane at age 34 is still such a sexy (& strong) beast, can we?

Anyhow, that was just some random thought that came to my mind after the game. Am suffering from major cramps (damn the period) so I gave school a miss cause anyway there isn't many lessons. Considering that chinese o's is over and all we do for chinese class (double period today) now is talk. This weekend I must dig my drive (to study).

Am craving to eat at Chomps. Anyone? Ring me.

Well it's the weekend once again & may I just prompt you to count your blessings for the week? Cause God is everyday merciful, give Him Glory!

Growing Pains - Everything we were has become what we are

Sweetest Sixteen, MADELINE!
Sweetie, I swear like the stars & the moon in the sky, I'll always be there. Really do not know express how much I appreciate you in my life. Remember all the hockey trips overseas, camps, trainings, late nightouts, dinners, BBQ&stayover (huge spider! & permed hair!!), shopping, phonecalls, deep&heartfelt-talk(s) & of course Obm Lumut(!!). Trouble times you were there & also to share the good times. You've been such joy & wonderkid. I wouldn't want you missing in my everyday life next year (youknw what I mean). I wanna scream a loud THANK YOU! From the depths of my heart, I thank God for you. All the best loving & wishes (study hard, get a happy job, marry a good husband, give birth & let me be their God-mother okay deal!) from me & as long as I live it will never change.

Apparantly anyone who'd taken their Chinese O'level Oral will tell you that they blew it. Well at least that's what I've been hearing. & no, it's not comforting to know that others are blowing it up (just as I felt I did). It is really that bad? What I gotta say to those whineing is that stop struggling with the I-killed-my-Oral-thus-will-do-badly feeling. Just let go la!

Interview at Sajc today & I guess it was pretty alright although I expected more of myself. Anyhow, I should just work hard, pray & let God do the rest. Today was a tired day. I think because I woke up at 3am to watch the WC semi-finals. Was waiting to eagerly & excitedly to see penalty shootouts then Italy just had to score at the last two minutes to kill my eagerness (& also killing Germany). I figured that if I can apply such discipline (force myself to wake up) & eagerness to my studies, it would have been brilliant. I'll be trying. But I guess it was a fair win cause Italy have really excellent ball possesion & super-sharp tackles. Also not forgetting the two beautifully side-net goals. Germany shouldn't even be sad (maybe disappointed) cause I think they played well, pressuring Italy at every ball & holding on so tight till the end. Makes me miss the competitiveness in the pitch.

& also not forgetting to congratulate the juniors for their first victory in their first game. Saw the hockey blog on their win & it reminded me so much of the good times (oh sweet victory). Keep the goodwork & keep soaring!

Missed me while you were looking for yourself out there

England game was a major disappointment. So full of nonsense & perhaps drama. Germany vs Argentina was much better. At least there was exciting penalty kicks last night but poor kicks from England just now. Conclusion: I wanted England to win but they lost :(

Suprisingly I'm not feeling tired so I shall watch the 3am game too. Hockey alumni gathering tomorrow & I'm gonna make salad. So I gotta wake up early to cut & wash the stuffs. I don't know why I'm blogging & I don't want to talk anymore. I am feeling pissy & grumpy now. I shall use the iSqueez (& iPamper are two new luxurious items at home). Thank God.