So I say a little prayer, & hope my dreams will take me there

I promised (did I?) that I'll be back. & I am anyway, whether I did or not. This is probably one of the few entries I'll be posting here. I dknw who's gonna read this but I just wanna send my Best wishes to everyone doing O's alright?

I never really thought I would say this but, I especially wanna wish my class, Four St Bernadette Mighty Strength to finish this last lap well. Why Especially? I think we need the Most luck & strength to carry through. Don't be discouraged by the prelims alright? We all know in a way or two that the results are reflections of the amount of effort we all put in. So More effort = Better results alright? Erase all your bad/negative thoughts. Don't let them be your self-fulfillling prophecy. Really, I don't care what comments people may pass bout us, I don't care at all. Everyone of us can prove others Wrong, can't we? I know well we can. So all I wanna say is that no matter what, Never Never Ever Give Up!

To my fellow teammates, I'll be praying for Minds of Steel (in all of us). BRUCE!

& to every other friend, I wish you Best too.

Come what may, just know that you've given your best Best BEST.

Do you remember the way we used to melt

Uhhhh I've decided to move to (attractiveattraction).livejournal.com. Anyhow, I won't disclose my new url so if you want you can ask from me online. However I may not give it to retain (my-new-wanted) privacy.

So bye (But I may come back). We'll see.

Live not the Hand-me-down Dreams

Just watched the telecast of the Prime Minister's Nation Day Rally Speech. Well I have to say that he was quite interesting (from talkingcock.com to the Sjc inspired clay/sand Sg). He is one of the "cooler" father/man & is definetely in tune with the current new-age generation (cause my dad still can't accept/relate to multi-tasking ie. blasting music, online & doing work at the same time). My dad was laughing funnily when he heard what he said. Ahhhh I wish my dad was "cooler" like him hahah. If I ever become a mother (99% Not), I'll be a damn cool one.

I suddenly remembered something random but funny. Jillian once told me that Madeline was so excited one day she told Jill: "Let's get naked!" Hahaha man. One of those funny gooooood times (racy) thoughts.

School tmrw & I'm squjksgnity dreading it. Did so much maths (Imma loving it!) this weekend, I didn't believe I could do more. Tmrw/this week will be a more fruitful/productive day/week. Cause I'm already on board a fast (bullet) train. So if you come on board (study with me), I'll carry you along (zooooom we go).
PROMISE! Cause my promise is Finer than you.

Deep inside I hope you feel it too

What a beautiful saturday night (So what a pity to be home). Too much commitments turn lives topsy turvy. Everyone is too busy for me today :(

Lesson for today is Divinity (authenticity, ie: how true is it) of the Bible & it's is really interesting. So I think I'm gonna share something I learnt with you. Firstly, it is estimated that 35 (Old Testament) writers worked on the different parts of the Bible independently without any specifications or collaboration with each other. On the day of assembly, all the different parts (written by writers with no relationship with each other) fitted perfectly without any adjustments or alterations! Can you imagine that? It's like 35 people (who dknw each other) each working on a part of a book & finally when they met to assemble the book, the story was all perfectly linked? It's not possible with the power of men. Only God is capable of such a feat! I marvel at Your saving Grace.

The easiest to relate (for all) will be the scientic facts. Lets talk about Astronomy & nuclear science. Isiah 40:22 tells us that the earth is round, "It is God who sits above the cirle (round, spherical) of the earth." The Book of Isiah was written in 700 BC, yet it was only the 15th century that scientist verified that the earth is round. Prior to that, men believed that the earth was flat & sailors feared that they may sail off the edge of earth. God knew everything that is gonna happen & records it in the Bible way before men even knew anything. How Great is our God!
(Btw all information is adapted from Uncle Hock Seng's sharing)

2 Corinthians 5:7 "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

Isn't it amazing that all the prophecies stated in the Bible has & is coming true? Indeed God is the author & finisher of Life! I swear I will not exchange a "666-mark of the Beast" (refer to Revelation 11:9) for a Lambourghini (I can't spell) hahah. It is especially important in the end days that we come to know the one & only true living God (Jesus Christ). I pray that you will hear of the gospel & accept it one day.

Anyhow, I bought nice stuffs & had yummy dim sum for dinner & I found some cool place for romantising & boooozing. Uhhhh so if you're going on a date but found trouble locating a sexy place you can come to me. I wanna eat mussels (someone ask me for delicious seafood). Next thursday (Fiona I hope) & saturday I'm free for study. Anyone who wanna help me with maths will be welcomed with open arms.

Glamour Indie Rock & Roll for weekend nights. I'll do much maths tonight, I promise. I'm getting on board a fast train.

If I could fall into the Sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause Youknw I'll walk a thousand miles
If I can just see you tonight
Goodnight.

I wish you tell me the last thing I wanna hear

This is a new paragraph I'm just adding on to the ones I wrote just now (below). Just got home from GWC & I'm glad + feeling very proud of myself cause I (alone) studied for three solid (without breaking) hours (as good if not better then night study in school). I did alot of maths & SS (source-base). Cause I was thinking, if I stayed home, I'll be slacking or sleeping. Then I thought of the people doing night study in school & I suddenly feel that I need to buck up. & so I did! Bad thing is that I'm taking too much coffee lately :(

Uhhhh so yesterday was one of my most productive study session I've ever had. Thanks Hannah. Weiting was just telling me in school that cgs girls are always focussed. Haha I think to a certain extent that's true! - Look at my sister (she studys six-seven hours a day wth). Sometimes (like now) I wish I can be like her.

I'm considering if I should go night self-study sessions in school. I think I'll be further driven when I see the whole auditorium of students giving the Best fight of their lives. Practical exams are comencing next week. Need to read up on an/cat-ions.

I am asking for the last time. Anyone(!!) who wants to study out at Plaza Sing Starbucks tmrw at bout 6pm please text me. Carolyn, Hitomi, Madeline & Marissa please get back to me tonight! I need maths help. Good day!

Your heart is as ugly as sin

Just got home from Suntec City. Madeline is such a silly ass! The incident went like this.. I asked Mad if she wanted to accompany me to Raffles City to buy my Nike shirt. So she said okay (with no obligations) in the end. Unfortunately, the branch at Raffles City ran out of stock. But the salesman reserved the shirt for me at the Suntec Branch. Mad was reluctant to go but so sweetly, she went (again, no obligations). But this time, she was rushing (walked so quickly till we got there and back to City Hall). She was going to buy some facial masque so I went home. Guess what? When I reached home, she texted me to tell me that she thought I was following her to buy the masque. But I didn't even know I was suppose to go with her (she didn't even tell me). Haha then she got angry with herself for being so silly. What a day! Sorry Mad :( I'll make it up to you, I promise. Anyhow, I bought my shirt & am happy :D

You see, this is what happens when you don't make your thoughts known. Till date, I only have divine connection/telepathy with Carolyn. She's the only one I can look into the eye & she gets my thoughts (not a hundred percent though). It took us four years of cultivation hahah. So if there's anything you want to let someone know, don't wait. Make known & not make-believe!

Gotta go & meet Hannah at BurgerKing (minus the food) for some study now. Am still looking for anyone who wants to study at PS this saturday evening. I need help with freeeeaking maths. Ring me. Study hard folks.

Hearts are empty rooms & Splendor falls

So after much affirmation, I've decided to start a time table so I can keep track of my (accelarating) pace till prelims. & a new one after prelims. I will work on the first time table today. Countdown to prelims is: twenty six days & to actual O's is sixty seven days. I'm not running away but I'm right on my way.

Could I ever ____, but life goes on...

UNSOLVED Suffocated wronged reasons bad days superficial unpredictable whore collide possibilities uninspired promises supposingly faded cynical funloving killjoy mistakes runaway genuine brokeness insecurities disease dark bittering MYSTERIES
(JAMPACKED thoughts, for you)

I'll break it down for you

Blessed sixteenth, Hannah! :) You've been a sweet blessing to my life. Thank you for all your witty encouragements that always come so timely. Continue to rise in the arms of Faith & walk in the Light of God. Youknw how MUCH I love you <3

Marissa, I'm blogging for you (fellow blogfan of mine:), aren't I?

So school was as bad as it could get. Every teacher is telling us how tough this "last leg" is gonna be. & sadly, it'd just started. Being a sec4 is tiring. There're just so much uncertainties. I'm already feeling the beat(ness). Only funny thing that happened was that Weiting couldn't figure out how I got to the conclusion that the soldier was "sympathatically affectionate" for the beggar woman (literature btw). I don't like unseen cause I don't like to interpret poetry & prose. I did my SS & History essay & I'll do maths tonight.

Can't wait for the weekends. Least, I'll get some break from this speedy pace. Plaza Sing this saturday night for some books + coffee (& maybe booze). I also want deeeeeep-talk. I've alot of things to spill. Anyone? Ring me up.

Then to Delta to watch the C'div Finals. It's always this "could have" feeling. Can't help but feel wasted for the juniors. Anyhow, it was a good season & many things worth learning from. The roaring crowd always gives the Finals feeling. I've nothing to comment but I like the drums.

Youknw what? So near YET so far (I feel SO DAMN cheated ahhhhh). Why is there such a thing called fate falling short? This wait for destiny won't do! This is such a tragedy, I suddenly feel so jaded. DAMNIT.

Every thing you do is tragic

School was rather short today. Missed the first three lessons. Cause the Ij Kellock little girls came over to use our new track for their 1.6km run. Some of them are sooooo small & cute! You should've seen man. We were err the helpers? Yeah so Hitomi, Jillian & I were the first (no such word) "aid-ers" (even though we've no saving experience). There were two girls who puked. Ahhhh I didn't expected it. Maybe it was running inertia? By literature class, I was falling asleep. Then was english oral. It was so mucccch better than the chinese one. Just that the male examiner looked so sickening & not bothered. Anyhow, hope I'll get my distinction this time yeah.

Cabbed to Delta for the last ten minutes of the C'div game. They lost 1-0 :( It was a disappointment. I mean, they beat the same oppenents 3-0 to qualify for semis. So we were expecting a win but.. Maybe like Mrs Tan said, luck wasn't with us (both divisions) this year. But then again, if we were really meant to win, we won't even need luck to be on our side, do we? Tiong Bahru Market with Jill & Mrs Tan and we had some good laughing about the past. Like Jill said: "I miss the good old days." Where art thou'?

It'd been four years of joy & bitterness. Epitome of bitchiness & sorrows. People either change for the better or deteriorate further. But all the memories, I'll keep.

I long to rise in the arms of faith

Plaza Singapura yesterday with Carolyn in search of her graduation shoes. Man, I swear she's one of the most fussy thing (with crazy moodswings & sudden highs) :( Good thing I held my threshold high. Oh yeah she was high when Weiting appeared (Haha). Met Hannah too. It was nice talking sweetie :) Booze was silent & coffee suddenly roared. Btw I saw my eyecandy! Anyhow, if you feel all stressed up, go grab a Nestle Mango Sorbet. It's so yummy(!) it makes you feel refresh. You must try it! Or get a hairy Zespri Golden KIWI (I Love)! (No no, I really don't get paid for advertising)

I've English oral tmrw so I dknw if I can make it for the C'div last game. I will try to rush down. Anyhow, all the way juniors!

I'm beginning to see the goodness of God all over again.

Vindicate me, O Lord.

No matter how I fight it, can't contain it

The trigger lasted me for the whole morning until results were released. Anyhow I didn't do well (so far from what I'd expected). Yeah I am disappointed, who isn't? It's only human to cry but I guess mourning it won't make it better. So I've decided to be brave & look forward. Thank God for the support from my mum too. So for those who didn't do well too, chin up & go for the second try. Especially Bernetta alright? My silly girl, trust me I feel as horrid as you do. But we'll keep each's faith okay? Your sweet friend is always here! God will bless the broken road, I will strengthen you :)

Thanks Hannah. You really turn my day around & made me feel better. Well, I guess it these sincere thoughts that really helps. Take good care girl, I'll see you soon. All that will give me peace of mind is that God is in control :) Our redeemer lives!

I didn't really cry cause graduation phototaking is tmrw. I've a pretty white dress and I want to look pretty like everyone else. Don't wanna look fugly like white chick (everyone, laugh & I hope that'll turn your bad day better). But I have a huge bruise :(

Ahhhh I've so much jampacked feelings.

Where I lose myself I will find You

I dknw what's up with me but I've been feeling the anxiousness cause Chinese O's results will be released tmrw. Seriously, I really dknw what to expect. It's either I'll do acceptably well or I'll screw it. There's no average I guess, since my oral was bad. But I really don't wanna retake it. God, I feel so insecure.

I didn't know we were doing pre-Ndp celebrations. Fringe celebrations, they call it. Pumping balloons yesterday was actually fun. But morning was wasted cause we spent most of the time waiting, slacking, getting hooked on gameboy + ipod, texting & taking photos. I think we spent four to five hours pumping the balloons. So many burst! :( Sad thing was that in less than a hour we gave away all the balloons. But that was rather fun though.

My mum bought me Hillsong's new album, Mighty to Save. It has preetty nice songs but not rocky like United or Planet Shakers. Anyhow, I'm still loving it! :)

A thousand times I've failed but your mercy remains
& should I stumble again, still I'm caught in Your Grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all things fades
In my heart, in my soul, I give you control

So find a reason to stay alive

I am sun-kissed (more like burnt) & I swear I look red like a four-hours boiled crab who's too shy to look at her lover :( Training was Friendly with the C'div but it turned out we didn't play much. But I felt happy being on the pitch again after a long silence. Good thing was that the old farts (Sec4s) were spared of fitness.

National day celebration in school today. If there wasn't training I wanted so much to attend, I wouldn't even have gone to school (I had horrendous cramps yesterday). & as usual, every single one was extremely patriotic screeeeeeeeaming I-deeply-love-my-nation-I-only-can-show-it-on-National Day songs. Oh, sappy songs for the nation.

I dknw why but it feels exciting I'm going to the Ndp tmrw (even though I'm not a die hard patriot). Hur even though it meant awaking early :( It's (un)cool we're gonna have early entry to the stadium like say, 9am to pump balloons? I wanna see the sexy fireworks & screeeeam! Oh, they say Ms Wong's brother is cute so I hope I'll see him since they're going too hahah. I will find Bernetta & Madeline at the Yellow sector :) Jillian & Hitomi, 7.20am at Macs, don't be late (we all know the penalty). Ah, even the Ndp can be Blissful with the presence of friends <3

It feels incredibly great now that the Dsa offer stage for phase2 is over and everyone knows where're they're heading. Now that our fate is sealed, we won't have any worries for each other.

Chinese results will be released on Oh-Dreary-Friday (Why why why). I saw the prelims time-table today & Shucks (with a Capital S). My anxiety level shot up higher than a meteor star. There are days when we have three/at least two different subject papers. What is this man. They have to crash our prelims even before we get a chance to do prevent it from crashing. Sometimes the Shit must be thrown at our faces before we can dodge.

Each day I live I want to be a day to give the Best of me

It's time like this when I can't help but feel that life is unfair. Well, this time differently. It wasn't unfair for me but somehow I felt that life'd been too good to me. Or more specifically, God is too good to me. It's just I just feel that I'm not worth it for such blessings yet. But it just dawn upon me that I should shut up & get to work to prove myself worthy. God is just so amazing. I've been experiencing His wonder especially this year. Some things are too secretive to be mentioned but really, I've been feeling the wonder. It's like the whole earth is turning & changing itself just to fit my needs. Yes, quite coincidentally but I bet it's not any luck. I believe that just as God has provided for some of my friends, He'll do the same for me. Anyhow, my adventure/walk with God just started & I know it's gonna be a lifetime of grace.

Jesus is so good, too good to me (I can never explain it in words).

They don't see you the way I do

So that's the end of another week. I realise I only blog on friday(s). Maybe it's a good idea to just sum up the week instead of writing an entry everyday. Today was literature mock exam :( But I guess it went well, at least for me I think. We've taken three weeks of mock exams & it's so tiring! The worst is yet to come. After that we rushed down to Ccab to watch the junior's semifinals. It's nice to see how brave the girls are but it's okay about the loss. From scratch to semifinals, shouldn't all of you be proud that you've come this far? Chin up girls. Finally 4Nations (Japanese girls are kickass) & home. I'm beat.

There're much I wanna say but my brain is at a standstill now I've no idea why. I'm buying my graduation white dress tmrw (I hope) cause phototaking is next saturday? I wished I was with the later group. Btw I'm gonna go to the Ndp. Not (really) to watch but to help out. I heard that we've to blow up (actually pump) the ballons & distribute them? I cross my fingers & hope they won't burst. But I figured that pumping ballons are nicer & cooler than standing in front of the many people & teaching them how to use the clapper or worst, usher millions of people around.

Mrs Tan, if you're reading this please give me till monday to give you the names & everything for the IJ Bukit Timah Cip okay? I did it in a rush & I'm not sure if I've compiled correctly. Sorry & Thanks!

You're a star in nobody's eyes but mine

I'm feeling very full. Not that I ate alot but I think it was because Hit, Jill & I bought this 473ml Ben&Jerry Pfishe Fudge (or something simliar) & we dugged into it. Hmm maybe not dug, that sounds too disgusting & crude. Nontheless, I don't have to tell you that all Ben&Jerry(s) are delicious, do it? So today was Cca phototaking. We were scheduled at 4.40pm (so late) & we had cranky photographers (who spoke hokkien to convent girls & were too rude). Good thing is that we took many preeeeetty photos :)

I dknw what got me here, but I know this is a very random entry. So pardon me. I am now getting determined to study very hard. At least I know where I'm heading.

Would you care if you're the last one standing here

Just occured to me that it'd been a week since I wrote an entry. Each day I wake up I feel as though I've been injected with depressant. The dosage is overwhelming. It makes me tired. This had been a horriblyhectic week. Even though monday was a holiday & this was only a four-day study week, I'm beat. Three mock exams & a class test. What is this man. Other than mocks after mocks, chemistry lessons, I feel that school is a waste. I could have been more productive at home. Even if it meant sleeping for days. At least I could get some rest I'm so badly deprived of.

There're many things I wanna say but it just happened that I'm having brain-block. Maybe I should have some good news to activate my cells. Congratulations to the C'div girls. They topped their pool & will be playing their Semifinals next week. That's something we're all proud of. What we missed, I hope they'll get it back. Get it back for us, work your way to the Finals.

Just something that cracked (rare chance) me up today. I was telling Jaspreet how much I wanted a 100k for some mad-shopping. I (lied) that I was going to try my luck on 4D. Youknw what she said? She was like, "No need la. Just go look at the Longan fish". Omg she calls luohan fish longan. So now, everyone I hope that cracked your miserable day. Pass it on :)

Unfaithful by Rihanna is a nice song :)

Madeline, I'm really sorry for just now. It was a silly accident. I swear I didn't meant for it. It was a honest mistake. Don't worry, you're still preetty as ever. & trust me, the tiny bump will go away very soon. I'm really feeling very bad. You've been the best & you've one of the most beautiful soul I've come across for a long time. & I said that not just because I'm a sweet friend but really, I mean every bit of it. Good is good is Madeline. Really, the guy that gets you next time is lucky shit. What can I say? You're the best.

Favourite Girls,
everytime you hear the rolling thunder
you turn around before the lightening strikes
& does it ever make you stop and wonder
if all your good times pass you by?
I don't hold no mystery
but I can show you how to turn the key
cause all I know is where I started
so downhearted & that's not where you want to be.

Imma always here & forever love <3

You lift my burdens, I'll rise with You

The moment I stepped into school today, I suddenly felt that my time left in the school was little. Not that I'm gonna miss the school or anything but it just hit me hard that my time is running. Frankly speaking, I've lost all my motivation & drive to study hard like I did last term. No, I did not burnt out. I guess although I don't mention it, I was really disappointed with my Maths results, for the amount of effort I'd put in. I dknw how to put it. I know to fight disappointment/failure is to work harder but my confidence level is now depleting to zero. This is such a trauma. Anyone, please pray for me.

I guess this whole Dsa issue is coming to an end. So much of talking, discussing & considering the friendship factor was tough. It's good now that all of us knows where we're heading next year & it thrills me to move out of this hellhole to a hopefully better environment & the next phase of life. We don't have much to discuss about our choice of Jc & even get upset or confused over our decisions. I think it's happening to many teams in many schools. All I know now is that I'm gonna have Carolyn, Hitomi, Madeline & Nicole Benny with me at Sajc & that's enough to keep me happy (& extremely thankful). But Bernetta, Jillian & Marissa, I will not forget you girls. As long as we all know that we'll always be Favourite Girls, nothing will separate us. I still have to say this cause I can't stop saying & however much I say, it can never contain all of my thankfulness - I thank God (Jesus) cause He has provided for me.

So just an encouragement (not that I'm doing great but it's good to share) to all those out there who're struggling with the trauma(s) of life. Look forward & never forget to dream cause dreams do come true. When you feel that life's a bitch, look to the night sky. Look at the stars, look how they shine for you :)

"It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord & sing praise unto Thy name O most high." Ps 92:1

Love me do, I love you do.

This has been an hectic week. With so much homework & mock papers thrown in, there's not much time for me to be online (explains my silence on blog). Even history is starting to take it's toll. Guess I've been released from the computer-addiction. I'm starting to dislike school even more :( My time is runnnnnning.

Today is Sing to the Dawn. We shoudn't have bought tickets Gala-night. They gave us a million & one rules of what we can't wear. So we're expected to be in hmm, evening dress/gown? I don't think I'm really bothered I'm gonna wear jeans & somehow make it look formal.

Favourite girls, many things are happening, sometimes not the way we want it & even taking it's turn but no matter what may happen, just follow your heart & believe in your decisions. There're some things we can't change. Although I can't keep my mouth shut & keep whineing that I want all of your presence next year, I truly still support all the decisions made. Happiness is where our hearts are right? & maybe separation will draw us even nearer? I dknw what to say but let's just look forward to the next phase of our lives alright? I give you girls my Best wishes <3

Just printed Dsa phase2 form for Madeline & I should be off to meet the girls for some odd-shopping.

& I was a kaleidoscope

I'm so knackered by school. Glad that it's friday tomorrow but then again, there's one more long day to go (plus chemistry practical that starts at 3.30pm!). That's late & I don't like it. The (kafkaesque) mock exams are starting next week & there'll be many late days in school. The crashing pressure really killjoy. But I can do it cause I don't believe you can activate your sterotype on me. You're not gonna win that from me.

Don't mind what people say. Hold your head high & walk away.

I do not like sterotypes. I stress on, do not. So if you think you (I dknw who you are but if I know I'll get my ass right to you & catfight wityou but if you're someone I know then I'll be sadly disappointed) wanna sterotype me or maybe think that I'm not good enough for certain things then please do come to me & say it into my face. I am wierd? Yes I absoultely think Imma wierd too. But I feel that I have less kooky brains than you. If I wasn't good enough or shall I put it as I don't deserve it, do you think things will come easy on me? Btw it didn't & it wasn't easy. You can't be better off if you can open your mouth to make such sterotypes. Cause all you see/think is a backward thought (too many possibilities now) of where I should be. Yeah maybe I was lucky & you buggers just fell short of that least bit of luck (or maybe you just ain't good enough). Damn you.

& no, this isn't a case of spamming.
Maybe it's just my periphrasis.
I'll just throw it all away. Sorry & Goodbye.